Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[8 bit orgy]

This is where I post my half-assed, non-proof read school work material that I have turned in or about to:

[8 bit orgy]

Frank Solowczuk
PUR4100
9/19/07
Press Released Assignment 3



This week I’m shifting gears to business. I’m using Yahoo! News – Business Press Releases. Most of the releases I read were desperate attempts for anyone to look in the general direction of that company.
Like this gourmet cookie company to sponsor a play at a local theatre. Locally this could bring in some real funds to a gourmet cookie company. The Solomon Gourmet Cookies would like to create a long-term relationship with anyone. I guess you have to be that clever in PR…
A few releases really cram-pack massive content into the intro paragraph. However, after re-reading it I noticed that it may have been done on that by purpose. The subtle wording of the paragraph basically forces you to keep on reading. About one in five words in the release is designed to wake up the reader from nodding off. Could be just my imagination, though I would like to know how it is exactly done. Not everything a PR person has to write will be exciting so we need every cheap trick we can learn.
Food for thought: how can we still have organizations called “100 Black Men of the Bay Area Inc., Behind the Bench NBA Wives…”? Of course it’s Oakland.
Acquisitions are all the rage right now. The press releases fail to mention any negative aspects of these things (are there any?). Apparently the world gets ten times better every time companies nothing to do with each other in different states merge. Usually these merger releases come with a plethora of contact information to funnel the panicked phone calls.
Technology is a big theme in these business press releases. Technology companies advance technology. It’s what they do. Whether it’s news or not is irrelevant, the publicity for such a thing is perfect. The way some of these were written was disturbing. Very dumbed downed language with few technical specifics other than what they promise.
I’ve noticed a trend of the “about” section usually located at the end of the release. Is this appropriate for what we will be doing?
And of course, the marathon. No better way of getting cheap publicity involving very little money than making people run a bunch. How the article was actually written is a literary miracle. I could write an entire paper analyzing the press release titled “P.F. Chang's Rock 'n' Roll Arizona Marathon & ½ Marathon to Celebrate Fifth Anniversary”. I don’t actually understand what’s actually going on, even after reading the article multiple times, simply because it’s too funny.
I think a good strategy sometimes can be mass confusion. Most of the article is so utterly confusing I suspect subliminal strategies. There is so much content involved with something like this. There’s like 10 events going on at the same time including the marathon(s?), some online stuff, vendors, some sort of challenge (marathon?), rock-n-roll concert, t-shirts, children from hospitals, goodie bags, gift certificates, and what-not. Basically every possible PR event all rolled into one hot day out in the Phoenix sun.

[Let My Love Open The Door]

You copied that just like you copied the list of crazy analogies, you son of a bitch!