Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Ryoko's Biatch]

WEST VALLEY CITY — A naked woman stole two vehicles, including a police squad car, crashed both vehicles and was Tasered before being arrested Tuesday morning by West Valley police.

The bizarre series of events began at about 5 a.m. in West Jordan. A man was posting advertising signs along state Route 111 and was outside of his vehicle when an unclothed woman pulled up.

The 31-year-old woman, from Kearns, got out of her car, got into his and took off, said West Valley Police Capt. Tom McLachlan. The man got into her car and followed, he said.

About 5:30 a.m., near 5300 South, the road makes several turns.

"One turn she did not even attempt to negotiate," McLachlan said.

The woman drove off the road, through a fence and onto Alliant Techsystems property. The woman got out of the car and ran, McLachlan said.

Later, police learned the man had a concealed weapons permit and had a handgun inside his car, but the woman apparently didn't see it.

When police arrived, they began searching the ATK site. An officer spotted the woman hiding behind a bush, McLachlan said. As the officer was waiting for backup to arrive, the woman ran toward him.

Two officers attempted to restrain the woman and get her to put her hands on the hood of a police car, but because of her sweat and a small amount of blood — the result of crashing through the fence — the woman was able to slip free, McLachlan said.

The woman ran to the other police car and started to drive off.

"Officers attempted to drag her out of the car but were unable. She started to drag them, so they let go," he said.

The woman crashed through another large fence at ATK and launched the car off a berm; it flew 50 feet into another berm, McLachlan said.

Abandoning the car, the woman scaled a chain-link fence that had barbed wire on top, McLachlan said. Officers were waiting for her on the other side and used a Taser. They took her into custody, although she continued to resist while paramedics checked her out.

The woman was taken to a local hospital to be treated for her injuries and for a mental evaluation. McLachlan said there was no evidence of drugs or alcohol and he was not aware of her having any prior criminal history.

If the woman is released from the mental evaluation, McLachlan said, she will be booked into the Salt Lake County Jail for investigation of a number of charges, including fleeing, two counts of stealing a vehicle and resisting arrest.

[Action Hank]

I think I just found my future wife!

[BigJoeMex]

I bet she was running away from you in the first place!

[Ryoko's Biatch]

Rapper Snoop Dogg wanted a large outdoor set for his new video - and tried to hire an entire European country.

The request surprised authorities in the state of Liechtenstein - population 35,000 with an area of 61.7 square miles between Switzerland and Austria.

Local property lease agent Karl Schwaerzler said: "We've had requests for palaces and villages but never one to hire the whole country before."

He admitted: "It would have been possible." But the deal fell through because Snoop's management "did not give us enough time".

[Big Fagot]

*indistinct mumblings in the style and cadence of the Snoop Dogg character*

[SuperPsaturn]

cadence....


cadence

[Ryoko's Biatch]

Boulder police responded to a report of man dressed as a leprechaun in the parking lot of King Soopers at 30th Street and Arapahoe Avenue around 1 p.m. Wednesday.

Boulder police Sgt. Fred Gerhardt said police received a call saying there was a man dressed as a leprechaun jumping in and out from between cars. He was pretending to shoot at people with his fingers and may have made obscene gestures, as well.

"I think that's why they called us," Gerhardt said. "He was acting bizarre."

But officers were unable to locate anybody matching the description of the leprechaun.

Gerhardt said this was the first time Boulder police have received a complaint about a leprechaun, and the man is not someone known to police.

[Potatoes]

Him look for him gold.

[Big Fagot]

, Cincinnati.

[Fagzilla]

WYALUSING, Pa.—The 91-year-old widow lived by herself in a tumbledown house on a desolate country road. But she wasn't alone, not really, not as long as she could visit her husband and twin sister.

No matter they were already dead. Jean Stevens simply had their embalmed corpses dug up and stored them at her house—in the case of her late husband, for more than a decade—tending to the remains as best she could until police were finally tipped off last month.

Much to her dismay.

"Death is very hard for me to take," Stevens told an interviewer.

As state police finish their investigation into a singularly macabre case—no charges have been filed—Stevens wishes she could be reunited with James Stevens, her husband of nearly 60 years who died in 1999, and June Stevens, the twin who died last October. But their bodies are with the Bradford County coroner now, off-limits to the woman who loved them best.

James succumbed to Parkinson's disease on May 21, 1999.

Then, last year, June was diagnosed with cancer. She was in a lot of pain when Jean came to visit. The sisters shared a bed, and Jean rubbed her back. "I'm real glad you're here," June said.

On Oct. 3, June died. She was buried in her sister's backyard—but not for long.

"I think when you put them in the (ground), that's goodbye, goodbye," Stevens said. "In this way I could touch her and look at her and talk to her."

She kept her sister, who was dressed in her "best housecoat," on an old couch in a spare room off the bedroom. Jean sprayed her with expensive perfume that was June's favorite.

"I'd go in, and I'd talk, and I'd forget," Stevens said. "I put glasses on her. When I put the glasses on, it made all the difference in the world. I would fix her up. I'd fix her face up all the time."

She offered a similar rationale for keeping her husband on a couch in the detached garage. James, who had been laid to rest in a nearby cemetery, wore a dark suit, white shirt and blue knitted tie.

"I could see him, I could look at him, I could touch him. Now, some people have a terrible feeling, they say, 'Why do you want to look at a dead person? Oh my gracious,'" she said.

"Well, I felt differently about death."

Dr. Helen Lavretsky, a psychiatry professor at UCLA who researches how the elderly view death and dying, said people who aren't particularly spiritual or religious often have a difficult time with death because they fear that death is truly the end.

For them, "death doesn't exist," she said. "They deny death."

Stevens, she said, "came up with a very extreme expression of it. She got her bodies back, and she felt fulfilled by having them at home. She's beating death by bringing them back."

There was another reason that Stevens wanted them above ground.

She is severely claustrophobic and so was her sister; she was horrified that the bodies of her loved ones would spend eternity in a casket in the ground. "That's suffocation to me, even though you aren't breathing," she said.

So she said she had them dug up, both within days of burial.

She managed to escape detection for a long time. The neighbors who mowed her lawn and took her grocery shopping either didn't know or didn't tell. Otherwise forthcoming, Stevens is vague when asked about who exhumed the bodies and who knew of her odd living arrangement. She blames a relative of her late husband's for calling the authorities about the corpses.

"I think that is dirty, rotten," she said.

State police—who haven't yet released the identities of those who retrieved the bodies—will soon present their findings to the Bradford County district attorney. A decision on charges is expected in a few weeks.

Stevens has talked extensively with both the police and Bradford County Coroner Tom Carman, who calls it a "very, very bizarre case."

But the coroner has nothing but kind things to say about the woman at the center of it.

"I got quite an education, to say the least. She's 100 percent cooperative—and a pleasure to talk to," Carman said. "But as far as her psyche, I'll leave that to the experts."

[Big Fagot]

That story deserves five paragraphs at most.

[Fagzilla]

I even edited some of it out!

[Big Fagot]

It needs something edited in, like anything to distinguish this event from the standard person-keeps-corpse-of-loved-one-as-companion template.

[Theldorrin]

That story is hideously offensive to atheists.

Obviously that psychiatry professor is a mentally ill young-earther.
_________________
@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

[Fagzilla]

Yeah, we'll see how you and the rest of the "meat is all there is" people feel when you're actually facing the grave!

They all eventually give in and start reaching out and desperately pawing around in the dark for comfort, but only once they have to...

[Fagzilla]

Actually, you're a bad example.

You'll be insanely, fetishistically absorbed in your little house of cards at all costs, right to your last breath.

[Theldorrin]

As long as I'm not in pain, I won't give a shit. I'll probably have waited 30-odd years for that nonsense.
_________________
@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

[Fagzilla]

How can someone as egotistical as you not be terrified of personal extinction!

[Theldorrin]

I'm that transcendentally awesome, Christopher.
_________________
@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

[Fagzilla]

It pisses me off when atheists mischaracterize things about certain religions.

A lot of these cocksuckers think Buddhism or Taoism are theistic!