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This is MACHETE.
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Richard Cristopolis
~~~SNAKE...NOW IT"S MY TURN TO PROTECT YOU~~~
Joined: 03 Feb 2007
Posts: 1859
(Fri May 07, 2010 11:22 pm)
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Post     This is MACHETE.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FMvT3g8MxE

OH GAAAAAWD
Seru
Custom titles are for heroes, like me.
Joined: 08 Jan 2007
Posts: 11012
(Sat May 08, 2010 2:17 am)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
Yeah, it should be pretty good.
Vinny
[00:10] How can you get an erect dick into your own ass?
Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 5181
(Sat May 08, 2010 10:57 am)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
Yeah, probably.
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Sporkism
It's funny that I have a job executing cats and dogs, considering that I AM A WHORE WHO FUCKS FOR MONEY
Joined: 05 Jan 2007
Posts: 5369
(Sat May 08, 2010 1:04 pm)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
ok
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Mike Dunn
Joined: 24 Jan 2007
Posts: 3549
(Sat May 08, 2010 1:44 pm)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
Lindsay Lohan, Steven Seagal, Lapenis, Ana Lucia, CHEECH and Robert Deniro as John McCain!?

I'm down with this.
Yogurtman
Odin
Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 2248
(Sat May 08, 2010 6:31 pm)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
It's really tough to say whether Machete or The Expendables has a more ridiculous, "what the fuck?!"-inducing cast list.
Vinny
[00:10] How can you get an erect dick into your own ass?
Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 5181
(Sat May 08, 2010 6:44 pm)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
Machete seems like it's collecting what The Expendables didn't pick up.
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Sporkism
It's funny that I have a job executing cats and dogs, considering that I AM A WHORE WHO FUCKS FOR MONEY
Joined: 05 Jan 2007
Posts: 5369
(Sat May 08, 2010 7:31 pm)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
I'm interested in this.
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Nickass
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 992
(Sat May 08, 2010 9:56 pm)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
MA SHITTY ASSHOLE
Vinny
[00:10] How can you get an erect dick into your own ass?
Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 5181
(Sun May 09, 2010 1:45 am)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
I'll use this thread for my query. I watched Marked for Death tonight with my roommates and I figured I need to watch as many Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme films as possible.

I've seen my fair share of ARNOLD AND SYLVESTER action flicks so I need no coaching in that area, but as far as Jean-Claude and Steven go I'm lacking. One of my roommates is a faggot who won't try new things so it's difficult to make the transfer from Commando to HARD TARGET, per se.

So basically, what films do you recommend, /FTU?
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Fagzilla
Got lost in another dimension for a couple months. But seriously, we will actually update the site within the next couple of days. http://www.bandzwiki.com/
Joined: 25 Aug 2008
Posts: 10111
(Sun May 09, 2010 1:48 am)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
Y... you've seen Kickboxer right?

Right???
Ryoko's Biatch
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 9256
(Sun May 09, 2010 1:51 am)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
Lionheart is good. Lionheart's only weakness is that he has too much heart.

Hard To Kill is my favorite Steven Seagal movies by far.
Magic Juan
Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 8709
(Sun May 09, 2010 1:53 am)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
Cyborg is kind of insane and awful, but it's graphic.

I mean, Jean-Claude Van Damme is awesome in Cyborg, the movie.
Fagzilla
Got lost in another dimension for a couple months. But seriously, we will actually update the site within the next couple of days. http://www.bandzwiki.com/
Joined: 25 Aug 2008
Posts: 10111
(Sun May 09, 2010 2:22 am)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
Marked For Death if you want to see Seagal beat the fuck out of dreadlocked jigaboos!
Vinny
[00:10] How can you get an erect dick into your own ass?
Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 5181
(Sun May 09, 2010 2:57 am)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
I was extremely drunk when I watched this so I'll ask you guys: was there any explanation when the green-eyed Jamaican got his head cut off but somehow survived?
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Sporkism
It's funny that I have a job executing cats and dogs, considering that I AM A WHORE WHO FUCKS FOR MONEY
Joined: 05 Jan 2007
Posts: 5369
(Sun May 09, 2010 9:45 am)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
He had a twin!
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@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@
Sporkism
It's funny that I have a job executing cats and dogs, considering that I AM A WHORE WHO FUCKS FOR MONEY
Joined: 05 Jan 2007
Posts: 5369
(Sun May 09, 2010 9:52 am)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
Urban Justice is a great recent one.

Under Siege I & II are also wonderful classics.

I've also seen Above the Law, Out for Justice, Hard to Kill, and Exit Wounds.

Man, there are so many more I still need to see!
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@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@
Sporkism
It's funny that I have a job executing cats and dogs, considering that I AM A WHORE WHO FUCKS FOR MONEY
Joined: 05 Jan 2007
Posts: 5369
(Sun May 09, 2010 10:02 am)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
As for JCVD:

Well, HARD TARGET is amazing so if you haven't seen it, well, your roommate can fuck off!

Other good ones:

No Retreat, No Surrender (technically he only has a small role, but the rest of the movie is amazing anyway, so FIND IT somehow)

Bloodsport
Kickboxer
Lionheart
Death Warrant
Double Impact - TWO VAN DAMME'S FOR THE PRICE OF ONE
Universal Soldier
Sudden Death
Replicant (I havent actually seen this one, but Mike Payne told us to just watch the JCVD commentary DVD extra, and that was hilarious enough)
Inferno (the most "WTF LOL" of his movies I've seen, probably)
Derailed
In Hell
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@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@
Fagzilla
Got lost in another dimension for a couple months. But seriously, we will actually update the site within the next couple of days. http://www.bandzwiki.com/
Joined: 25 Aug 2008
Posts: 10111
(Sun May 09, 2010 11:53 am)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
I've actually seen all but three of those.

But I think we can agree that Kickboxer is urgent.
Fagzilla
Got lost in another dimension for a couple months. But seriously, we will actually update the site within the next couple of days. http://www.bandzwiki.com/
Joined: 25 Aug 2008
Posts: 10111
(Sun May 09, 2010 11:54 am)
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Post     Re: This is MACHETE.
YOU MUST EARN KATANA SWORD
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