Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Big Fagot]

"Fuck," said Iraq Meatballs through gritted teeth. "Fuuuuuck."

"You rancid piece of shit," countered Stein Apoptosis. "I can't believe you disemboweled me."

It was true. Except for the frenzied efforts of his own slippery hands, there was nothing holding Stein's viscera inside his body. But Iraq's gallant achievement had come at a heavy price.

"I still ... AAAUUGH!" Iraq fell to his knees bellowing in agony and digging his fingernails into the rotting muscle tissue that had previously been covered by his scalp. "I still ... I still have a few minutes before the poisoned acid finishes off my brain. There's nothing ignoble about dying caked as I am with baby blood as long as I can watch you turn inside out!"

"Heh!" barked Stein sadly. He plunged his fingertips into the skin of his chest and wrenched free a blunted metal proboscis. "It seems so trite now that I ever feared death." He turned the cylinder on himself and stabbed it into his own heart. "I only hoped, naively, that I could die ... as a man ..." With a final thrust and a mechanical click, what remained of Stein became a shrieking witness to the birth of something different as metal limbs emerged unceremoniously from his flesh.

"How fitting!" spat Iraq, brandishing his SkullEnder. But before he could advance, the wall shattered and a giant electric beast showed itself.

"A TimeRaper," wailed that which had been Stein. "Once, we could have stood against this."

"Yes," gurgled Iraq, dropping his weapons and his skull. "It was not so long ago, before we forged ourselves in these shapes, that there was still hope."

The machine's joints pivoted and swivelled cruelly, motivated exclusively by the action of many small rockets pushing against noisy, dry metallic friction. The creature surveyed the room, counting coldly the lives it was to destroy.

"At last, peace," said Stein.

"Lord, I am so afraid ..." said Iraq.

Their corpses became animated by a force unseen but manifested as a deep three-hertz rumble. Desperate grunts emanated as the muscles of both bulged unnaturally as though packed to bursting with tangible suffering. At last God smiled and the ruined scarecrows were torn apart by their own super-strength. Where once there had been three beings, there now was one.

The Fuck Wars had begun.

[Servbot]

You should now write the last page.

[Theldorrin]

tl;dr
_________________
@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

[Sporkism]

*Chris literally shits and pisses all over himself with glee*
_________________


@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@

[YES]

The night was black

[Fagzilla]

This is so quintessentially and stereotypically "Big Fagot" that it almost reads as a (very good) parody/imitation of THE STYLE.

Not that I don't like it! I'm just saying.

[Action Hank]

There were seventeen bottles of Bud Lite sitting on the windowsill of the trailer, and the sunlight reflected off them creating splendid sparkles of American living. Some of that sparkling brilliance fell on half-closed eyes of a giant, wrinkled-infused face of a very fat and red-faced man who was reclining on a mattress. There was no sheet or blanket on the mattress---beaten out of shape, stained, and striped foam mattress smelling of urine and stale sweat---and several more bottles of Bud Lite jingled as they nestled against areas of exposed and discolored mounds of fat-filled skin. His body---mammoth, dirty, reeking of beer and piss---undulated like it was devoid of bones or any basic solid support system. In particular, his rotund belly vibrated with the consistency of wet cement.

The man was producing a variety of noises that mixed together to form a symphony of excreta: a series of long and short wet farts tiptoed through a sonata of sighs, wheezes, coughs, and mucus-filled nose exhalations. Acidic burps interspersed with expelling pockets of air escaping from the folds of fat along his arms, legs, abdomen, and neck. Now and then he added a groan and a hack. Oddly, a melody emerged from this cacophony of repellence: farts and coughs made up the rhythm and percussion section, burps and wheezes blared as daringly as the most vibrant horns. And, within the hot, humid, and still air of the rusting trailer, these sounds came together to play an instrumental version of the Smith’s “How Soon Is Now.”

It wasn’t clear if the man was awake or not, or if he was awake, sober enough to be aware of the music. But after his farts and sighs reached about ten bars into the song, the symphony was interrupted by a ringing that originated somewhere underneath his bloated stomach. He slowly opened his eyes, and on the seventh ring, dug one of his sausage-like fingers under a fold in his belly and pulled out a cell phone. It was caked in some sort of grease. He banged at it frustratingly with his finger and then put the phone up to his red ear.

“Yheeezzz,” the fat man said. He strained as he spoke, finding difficulty pushing air from his lungs to his mouth. “Thiizz izzzzz Chris Psaros, BLARGH. Whaa----*cough, urp*---the treasure is

[ALDP]

That's a really good first page of a novel, is this the first time you've written one?
_________________
"Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am)" Plato



Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

[ALDP]

Dykebag Jewison sat down at his computer with a retarded expression.

"I love to annoy people for no reason" he intoned greedily shoving ten dildos up his ass.

"Let's see what's worthless on the internet today. Hmm, oh, this won't do. I'm reading the worst shit ever written in history (for inspiration) and it's all still too good, I need to make something worse."

Dykebag put on another Barney diaper and crumpled his horrible usurious face into an expression of utter retarded despair.

He called Rabbi Shalom to ask for advice.

"Dykebag? Is you that, with the calling me, oy! What to do I owe this great pleasure, bubula?"

"I don't know what to do with my life, Rabbi! Why am I here?"

"Use words, my child, they are your gift!"
All with that stupid jew intonation.
"Bring honor to your household! Preserve our perfect race, young one!"

So Dykebag hangs up the phone and goes back to his computer. It's covered with diaper rash cream and My Little Pony stickers. His desktop is hot pink and it says "WHO'S THE GAYEST" with a picture of Dykebag.

He goes to his favorite website Gay City USA and writes some stupid fucking shit nobody reads. He e-mails a link to Rabbi Shalom it looks like
http://www.ftusa.org/forum/viewtopic.php?p=176181#176181

Rabbi Shalom writes him an e-mail back saying "It's a page turnaaaa" dragging out every word like an evil dragon.

"But your day has just begun" the talking e-mail continues with the sound of giant scaly wings beating the September afternoon leaves.
_________________
"Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am)" Plato



Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

[Fagzilla]

Now this thread's cookin'.

[Action Hank]

The dance continues.



Your turn, Chris!

[ALDP]

My story is about you, you piece of shit.
_________________
"Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am)" Plato



Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

[Action Hank]

Thank you. I gathered as much.

[ALDP]

Because I described you so accurately
_________________
"Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am)" Plato



Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

[Captain PUNisher]

It was the best of times, it was the blorst of times.
_________________
Said the Captain PUNisher.

[ALDP]

"Stay out of Mutant City!" cried the mutants from their pick-up truck as they chased Steve towards the interstate. He stole a fearful glance over his shoulder and saw they were gaining on him.

"Stay out of Mutant City!" cried the mayor through his megaphone, swooping down in a helicopter. "Your kind isn't welcome around here!"

Steve was almost out of breath and his legs were tired!
_________________
"Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am)" Plato



Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

[Vinny]

The barbarian hordes that gathered outside their fortress city of Burlyfuck rose their heads to the morning sun peering over the bloodstained castle walls. A giant silhouette cast over the sweaty and retarded throng of murderers. It was their leader, the strongest.

There he stood, ten feet of impatient muscle throbbing in tune to a primitive, chaotic beat. He unfolds his massive arms and removes his dolphin skull helmet. The horde gasps at the sight of his headless torso, nothing resting on his powerful shoulders but a oversized, gnarled knot of trapeziums.

The strongest reaches down and tears away his loin cloth, revealing a giant spinning cock with a Behelit face and tiny baby arms jutting from the shaft, lifting weight and spooning whey protein into the urethra.

The strongest starts beating his chest and his sentient cock starts pounding its pectoral muscles with tiny, deadly baby fists and a guttural moan not unlike the one Goro made in the Mortal Kombat movie is emitted from SOMEWHERE on the creature and the horde is sent into a frothing fuck frenzy that actually creates foam as they fuckfight mindlessly.

Off in the distance, a blind scholar scratches away at a piece of parchment.

"The Fuck Wars have begun ... again ..."
_________________

[Big Fagot]

I'm going to go back in time to 2001 or whatever and interrupt the cancer thread with this, its terrifically dominating successor.

[ALDP]

What's the cancer thread?
_________________
"Cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am)" Plato



Clubs: Chums, FTU Non-Virgins, Secret Bad Company Club, Elite Boys [ReBoot]

[Rice]

The Goro scene from the Mortal Kombat movie really needs to be celebrated more.