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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:27 am) Reply

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Benjamin Button Alternate Ending |
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(Scene begins after hot 20-something Brad Pitt just got done fucking inside a hideous decrepit middle-aged Cate Blanchett) |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:28 am) Reply

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Cate Blanchett |
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*puts on middle-aged woman's underwear and gazes significantly at gorgeous Brad Pitt* |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:29 am) Reply

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(Hospital, present day) |
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*a terrible storm rages outside* |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:30 am) Reply

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Old Cate Blanchett Character |
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Ah do decla-uh... some love is... truly ageless... |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:32 am) Reply

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Middle-aged daughter |
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*gulps with emotion and nods, tears streaming down her face*
Uh-huh... |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:33 am) Reply

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Hospital room |
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*thunder flashes outside, massive waves strike the window*
*lights flicker and go off, flood lights turn on and commotion starts in hallway* |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:34 am) Reply

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Black patient in hallway |
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Oh heavens, oh Jesus Christ please render us your mercy, sweet Jesus. |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:35 am) Reply

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Middle-aged daughter |
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Hold on mom, I'm gonna see what's going on.
*leaves* |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:39 am) Reply

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Old Cate Blanchett Character |
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*continues talking as if nothing had happened*
Yay-us... ageless... you see, yo-uh fathuh and Ah... the love that we hayud...
But then... what do Ah me "hayud?" we still have it... to this day... Benjamin... I know yo-uh in hyah... right now, with me. |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:45 am) Reply

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Hospital room doorway |
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*lightning flashes and for some reason the floodlights go out; the ward is silent and seems deserted*
*lightning flashes again, a human form is seen in silhouette, flopped on the floor right outside the room*
*in the darkness that follows, there is a horrible insect scratching sound, along with the sound of a human body sliding slowly across hospital floor* |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:46 am) Reply

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Old Cate Blanchett Character |
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Benjamin... do yew realize... Ah nevah loved anothah... nevah loved but once in ma life... and it was yew? |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:47 am) Reply

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Darkness of the room |
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*sound Demon makes in Doom games* |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:59 am) Reply

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Benjamin Button |
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*illuminated by a 2-3 second flash of lightning, stands full beside Cate Blanchett's bed, a horrible nightmare vision from the darkest depths of human imagination*
*by the brutal Hell logic that allowed Benjamin to be born a baby with the features of an old man, he is now an old man with the features of a human fetus: his hideous melty face slowly opens its beak and giggles like a baby, except it's echoey because the filmmakers recorded a baby giggling from the bottom of a long staircase, and it sounds awful. The rest of Benjamin's body is similarly Hellish and he's completely covered in slime; the camera zooms out to show Benjamin's rock hard fully developed cock, which has more slime on it than the rest of his body for dramatic effect* |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:02 am) Reply

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Old Cate Blanchett Character |
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Love me, Benjamin... Love me the way only yew can... |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:05 am) Reply

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Benjamin Button |
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*throws back Cate Blanchett's bedclothes and mounts her immediately*
*throws back head and makes horrible baby giggling sound again*
*savagely loves Cate Blanchett* |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:07 am) Reply

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Old Cate Blanchett Character |
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*seemingly unaware that she's getting plowed, facial expression remains beatific and she talks as she has been the entire scene*
It's... it's tahm, Benjamin... it's the tahm... we always knew must come... |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:08 am) Reply

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Magic clock in train station basement |
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*gets struck by lightning and starts moving super fast* |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:14 am) Reply

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fuck it |
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Benjamin melts and gets sucked up into the old woman's vag with a sound effect like somebody eating steak in a cartoon
The camera cuts to the window and the storm starts to clear and is gone in like 5 seconds. It's the middle of the day for some reason and the sky is blue and beautiful.
The daughter comes back in the room and covers her mouth with shock. The camera follows her view back to the hospital bed, which is empty.
There's movement under the covers and we see a hummingbird wiggle out and fly out the window which a fresh summer breeze has blown open.
The camera zooms out and the planet is made of weed. |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:15 am) Reply

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THE END |
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*pages flip over the screen and end on a page that says "THE END;" a cover closes and we see it was the book Benjamin wrote in that the daughter was reading*
THE END |
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YES Ask me about nation, culture, religion, gender, sexuality, and identity in general being anachronisms from a more vulgar and primitive past. Joined: 05 Sep 2007 Posts: 6090 (Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:49 am) Reply

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Re: Benjamin Button Alternate Ending |
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Shut up you landlubber |
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