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Benjamin Button Alternate Ending
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cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:27 am)
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Post     Benjamin Button Alternate Ending
(Scene begins after hot 20-something Brad Pitt just got done fucking inside a hideous decrepit middle-aged Cate Blanchett)
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:28 am)
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Post     Cate Blanchett
*puts on middle-aged woman's underwear and gazes significantly at gorgeous Brad Pitt*
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
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(Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:29 am)
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Post     (Hospital, present day)
*a terrible storm rages outside*
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
Joined: 12 Mar 2008
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(Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:30 am)
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Post     Old Cate Blanchett Character
Ah do decla-uh... some love is... truly ageless...
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:32 am)
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Post     Middle-aged daughter
*gulps with emotion and nods, tears streaming down her face*

Uh-huh...
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
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(Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:33 am)
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Post     Hospital room
*thunder flashes outside, massive waves strike the window*

*lights flicker and go off, flood lights turn on and commotion starts in hallway*
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:34 am)
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Post     Black patient in hallway
Oh heavens, oh Jesus Christ please render us your mercy, sweet Jesus.
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:35 am)
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Post     Middle-aged daughter
Hold on mom, I'm gonna see what's going on.

*leaves*
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:39 am)
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Post     Old Cate Blanchett Character
*continues talking as if nothing had happened*

Yay-us... ageless... you see, yo-uh fathuh and Ah... the love that we hayud...

But then... what do Ah me "hayud?" we still have it... to this day... Benjamin... I know yo-uh in hyah... right now, with me.
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:45 am)
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Post     Hospital room doorway
*lightning flashes and for some reason the floodlights go out; the ward is silent and seems deserted*

*lightning flashes again, a human form is seen in silhouette, flopped on the floor right outside the room*

*in the darkness that follows, there is a horrible insect scratching sound, along with the sound of a human body sliding slowly across hospital floor*
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:46 am)
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Post     Old Cate Blanchett Character
Benjamin... do yew realize... Ah nevah loved anothah... nevah loved but once in ma life... and it was yew?
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
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Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:47 am)
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Post     Darkness of the room
*sound Demon makes in Doom games*
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Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
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Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:59 am)
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Post     Benjamin Button
*illuminated by a 2-3 second flash of lightning, stands full beside Cate Blanchett's bed, a horrible nightmare vision from the darkest depths of human imagination*

*by the brutal Hell logic that allowed Benjamin to be born a baby with the features of an old man, he is now an old man with the features of a human fetus: his hideous melty face slowly opens its beak and giggles like a baby, except it's echoey because the filmmakers recorded a baby giggling from the bottom of a long staircase, and it sounds awful. The rest of Benjamin's body is similarly Hellish and he's completely covered in slime; the camera zooms out to show Benjamin's rock hard fully developed cock, which has more slime on it than the rest of his body for dramatic effect*
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:02 am)
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Post     Old Cate Blanchett Character
Love me, Benjamin... Love me the way only yew can...
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
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Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:05 am)
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Post     Benjamin Button
*throws back Cate Blanchett's bedclothes and mounts her immediately*

*throws back head and makes horrible baby giggling sound again*

*savagely loves Cate Blanchett*
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
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Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:07 am)
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Post     Old Cate Blanchett Character
*seemingly unaware that she's getting plowed, facial expression remains beatific and she talks as she has been the entire scene*

It's... it's tahm, Benjamin... it's the tahm... we always knew must come...
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:08 am)
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Post     Magic clock in train station basement
*gets struck by lightning and starts moving super fast*
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Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:14 am)
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Post     fuck it
Benjamin melts and gets sucked up into the old woman's vag with a sound effect like somebody eating steak in a cartoon

The camera cuts to the window and the storm starts to clear and is gone in like 5 seconds. It's the middle of the day for some reason and the sky is blue and beautiful.

The daughter comes back in the room and covers her mouth with shock. The camera follows her view back to the hospital bed, which is empty.

There's movement under the covers and we see a hummingbird wiggle out and fly out the window which a fresh summer breeze has blown open.

The camera zooms out and the planet is made of weed.
cloacal kiss
Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds
Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 2039
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:15 am)
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Post     THE END
*pages flip over the screen and end on a page that says "THE END;" a cover closes and we see it was the book Benjamin wrote in that the daughter was reading*

THE END
YES
Ask me about nation, culture, religion, gender, sexuality, and identity in general being anachronisms from a more vulgar and primitive past.
Joined: 05 Sep 2007
Posts: 6090
(Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:49 am)
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Post     Re: Benjamin Button Alternate Ending
Shut up you landlubber
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