Triple Life > the uLtRa KeWl forum > How many times, where? |
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ChrisPsaros ![]() King for a day, just not Today. (8/26/01 1:46 am) |
How many times, where? I realize that this topic has probably already been discussed, but I wanted to add my recent experiences. See, it all started a couple of months ago on a message board. There was this crazy sex fiend of a hermaphrodite who wanted my ass. Well, as I rule I avoid message board bimbos. You never know where thier nasty twat has been. But this particular individual was very persistant. So I let her/him arrange for a meeting at the local police station. I wanted it to be safe, you see. He/she drove up in a big red station wagon and from the moment I laid eyes on her/him, I was in love. She had the biggest hair I have ever seen, and lips so purple that I thought they must be bruised. Which is exactly what I wanted to do to them. Bruise them with my big stern cock. So anyway, we go into the police station where I suddenly see my picture on the wall. I WAS WANTED FOR SEX CRIMES AGAINST AN FBI AGENT WHO HAD POSED AS A 14 YEAR OLD GIRL. I was stunned, as was the beauty walking beside me. Within minutes we were both tossed in the clink. I was terrified. Because they had not known how to classify my lovely acquaintance, she/he was in the cell next to mine. BUT in my cell there were fifteen big strong burly men, all looking at me with obvious interest. I guess the stress of the situation got to my gorgeous companion, because he/she got obviously aroused. Well, to be honest, so did I. And before I had really thought it through, I had backed my ass up against the bars between out cells and was begging for her/him to penetrate me in a way that I had never known possible. The guys in the cell were very impressed by this and took the opportunity to show how attractive they found my mate. By the end of the evening, I was very sticky and very tired, but very fulfilled. My brother made bail for me, and I am still awaiting trial on those child molestation charges, but now I have love. Nothing else matters. And the boys in the cell said I was welcome back anytime. So that is my story. How about you guys? EDIT: Fixed some grammar and plot holes. You know, shit happens. Edited by: prosthetic forehead at: 8/27/01 12:09:53 am |
lmoen Official TL Slut (8/26/01 3:45 am) |
Oh. I was going to tell about the time I did my boyfriend and his gay lover in my parent's bed, but now, well, I just don't feed adequate. EDIT: You left out a comma. Edited by: prosthetic forehead at: 8/27/01 12:19:25 am |
Matthew Outland LOVE ME, no, LICK ME!!!1 (8/26/01 5:41 am) |
ME ME ME When I was in Japan, I fucked this schoolgirl on the subway. SHE CALLED ME MATTY SAN. She wouldn't let me put my fingers in her ass though. I want to learn more about sex. EDIT: You guys are just full of errors tonight. SHEESH. Edited by: prosthetic forehead at: 8/27/01 12:27:16 am |
Ace Kendo I rode a Snapper all summer. (8/26/01 10:56 am) |
When I was in Scotland I had a girlfriend. She let me touch her all sorts of places. On the leg, on the arm, EVEN ON THE BOOBIE ONCE. Sex is another name for love making. EDIT: Oops, hit the edit button by mistake. Forever yours, |
bitter gigatron Official TL Slut (8/26/01 3:38 pm) ![]() |
Re: New topic One day, I hope that I will have sex. Until then, I will continue to visit the zoo and watch the monkeys do it. Edited by: Ace Kendo at: 8/26/01 3:54:43 pm |
JebusofNazareth Hey Ma! I struck Oil! (8/26/01 8:44 pm) |
HEllo When I have sex, it feels god. Everyone should have sex. And write about it. |
Brandylion Cute as a button! (8/26/01 11:59 pm) ![]() |
Re: HEllo Zoo sex is funny. I saw this enormous Galapagos land tortoise going at it with a female. He was drooling & making these loud moans. She turned around after a while but he kept his position, moaning & humping into her face. Absolute zero is cool. |
Ace Kendo I rode a Snapper all summer. (8/27/01 10:03 am) ![]() |
Re: HEllo The boobie was the best part. Forever yours, |
My Head Hurts 90 Do these pants make me look fat? (8/27/01 12:00 pm) |
Back when I was just a tadpole... PF enjoys raping my posts into oblivion. Que Gay! Edited by: My Head Hurts 90 at: 9/1/01 2:05:31 am |
ImmortalBubbles like gwapes inna bafftub (8/30/01 12:24 pm) ![]() |
Re: Back when I was just a tadpole... At least my sex story is true. Here it is: |
My Head Hurts 90 Do these pants make me look fat? (8/30/01 8:51 pm) ![]() |
Re: Back when I was just a tadpole... I WISH I COULD HOLD DELICATE BOOBIES IN MY FINGERS. DELICATE11! Que Gay! Edited by: Ace Kendo at: 9/1/01 11:21:42 pm |
prosthetic forehead Slut or just enjoys sex? You decide. (8/31/01 9:32 pm) |
Re: Back when I was just a tadpole... Well that sex story is much like your package... like gwapes ina bafftub. BUM LOOKER!
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Zapd Bloo Fuck Queen (9/2/01 1:38 am) |
PF did not edit those stories, You fuckwad, I did. AND YOU ERASED IT. Which is almost enough to make me write an even nastier one. Involving your anus, your neighbor's dog, and lots of blood. But I won't. Because I am lazy. However, if you ever delete one of my or PF's edits again, I will ban your ass so fast you won't even know what hit you. Stupid. You are stupid. And for general information. IF YOU GET EDITED, IT IS BECAUSE YOU WERE EITHER TOO STUPID, OR YOU WERE SO FUCKING BORING THAT YOU SUCKED THE LIFE OUT OF EVERYTHING AROUND YOU. TAKE IT AS CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM AND TRY TO NOT BE SO WORTHLESS THAT THOSE WHO MUST DEAL WITH YOU ON A DAILY BASIS ARE LEFT FEELING LIKE THEY HAVE BEEN ROBBED OF PRECIOUS MOMENTS OF THEIR LIVES BY YOUR PRESENCE. get it? good.
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prosthetic forehead Slut or just enjoys sex? You decide. (9/4/01 11:55 am) |
FYI Please heed Zapd's advice. This is at least the 2nd time that an edit that either Zapd or I has done has been changed. I am not in the best of moods to put up with such shit! It is understood that you may have not liked it, well to fucking bad! Edit: Mellowed it out a bit. Upon rereading I see that I am in a particularly foul ass mood.
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My Head Hurts 90 Do these pants make me look fat? (9/4/01 1:04 pm) ![]() |
Re: FYI I forgot what I was edited for. I think I said something to the extent that zoosex is nasty(in reply to the Brandylion post), or something like that. Whatever. Que Gay! |
Brandylion Cute as a button! (9/5/01 1:02 am) ![]() |
Re: FYI MHH, didn't you say that you've done plenty of lurking? I lurked for less than 2 weeks before I started posting on my first message board, & I understood then that it was taboo to mess around w/ an admin or mod's edit of your post. Absolute zero is cool. |
prosthetic forehead Slut or just enjoys sex? You decide. (9/5/01 10:30 am) |
Sadly some need to be force fed. But not Brandy! Adorably cute, witty, smart... the list could go on and on.
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My Head Hurts 90 Do these pants make me look fat? (9/5/01 1:38 pm) ![]() |
Re: Sadly some need to be force fed. Normally yes, I wouldn't have changed it but I got brutally edited for expressing my opinion in a non-derogatory way. It's not like I said,"Brandy you're a twisted BITCH!" I just said I was grossed out by turtle sex (Who isn't?). Que Gay! Edited by: My Head Hurts 90 at: 9/5/01 4:34:30 pm |
Brandylion Cute as a button! (9/5/01 4:47 pm) ![]() |
Re: Sadly some need to be force fed. Aw, Kim, you're making me blush! I just now realized that my custom title has changed too. MHH, you are taking this too personally. It's all in fun & no one will really believe that the amusing lil tale is true, but everyone will believe that you are silly & stupid if you do a reedit. This demonstrates you are afraid that Zapd's edit could defame you. I wasn't grossed out by the turtle sex & neither were the dozens of other people around me at the zoo. We were all laughing at the poor turtles. Absolute zero is cool. |
prosthetic forehead Slut or just enjoys sex? You decide. (9/5/01 4:53 pm) |
MHH Please go reread the second paragraph of Zapd's post. You will then understand why you were originally edited. Brandy is also correct, this is/was no big deal... it just happened that yourself and one other decided to not get the hint the first time around and so then this became some colossal pile of shit. Life shall now go on.
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My Head Hurts 90 Do these pants make me look fat? (9/5/01 7:19 pm) ![]() |
Re: MHH Feh. Que Gay! Edited by: My Head Hurts 90 at: 9/6/01 1:37:56 pm |
zb Probably Zapd (9/5/01 10:35 pm) |
For fuck's sake. MHH, You are one bipolar brat. One minute, you are 'badass' wanting 'niggerific' custom titles and proclaiming your superiority because you don't have to use 'swear words'. The next you are complaining because of one jokingly derogatory comment. Pull your head loose. Quit taking everything so seriously. Furthermore, if that is the truth about your brother, well, sorry. Death is harsh. But too many people say too many unprovable things on the internet to go around guessing whose tragedy is real and whose is a load of crap. Not only that, but nobody halfway sensible is going to go around walking on eggshells because somebody may or may not have had some bad thing happen to them. Bad shit happens to everyone. And the sooner we all realize that, the better people we will be. |
Utils ![]() Official TL Slut (9/6/01 5:22 am) |
Re: For fuck's sake. Judge lest ye be judged. |
My Head Hurts 90 Do these pants make me look fat? (9/6/01 1:21 pm) ![]() |
Re: For fuck's sake. "One minute, you are 'badass'(What?) wanting 'niggerific' (I never used that word) custom titles" I thought Porch Monkey was multi-racial. Que Gay! |
Utils ![]() Official TL Slut (9/6/01 1:58 pm) |
Re: For fuck's sake. realm is niggerific |
Brandylion Cute as a button! (9/6/01 2:32 pm) ![]() |
Re: For fuck's sake. You did act like an ignorant badass. You, a newbie, strolled into this forum & argued w/ the admin about the complexities of her posts. You told Zapd that she should've repeated to herself, "it's a message board." Perhaps you should practice what you preach. As far as I know, porch monkey is not a multi-racial term. Absolute zero is cool. |
My Head Hurts 90 Do these pants make me look fat? (9/6/01 3:51 pm) ![]() |
Re: For fuck's sake. Yeah, but there's a reason why they're called quotation marks. I don't think I said the words badass or niggeriffic. I wonder why she quoted those? Other than that I have no problem with her post. She is correct on pretty much everthing else. Que Gay! Edited by: My Head Hurts 90 at: 9/6/01 4:22:10 pm |
JebusofNazareth Hey Ma! I struck Oil! (9/6/01 8:12 pm) ![]() |
Re: For fuck's sake. I LIKE PANTS! What it calls Knowledge is not a union with the not-Self, but a set of Prejudices, habits, and Desires, making an impenetrable veil between us and the world beyond. The man who finds pleasure in such a theory of Knowledge is like a man who never leaves the domestic circle for fear his word might not be law. |
zb Probably Zapd (9/7/01 12:56 am) |
Clarification. "asdf" is a quote. 'Asdf' is not a quote. I was not quoting you, I was pointing out specific words that, though you have never used them, represented my perception of your attitudes. Once again, for the record, "BOOGER" quote, said by me just now. 'Niggerific!' Not a quote. Now everybody together: "PUNCTUATION IS OUR FRIEND." |
Ace Kendo I rode a Snapper all summer. (9/7/01 2:11 pm) ![]() |
Re: Clarification. I still have to say that "BOOBIES" was the best part. Forever yours, |
ImmortalBubbles like gwapes inna bafftub (9/7/01 4:44 pm) ![]() |
Re: Clarification. Still? |
JebusofNazareth Hey Ma! I struck Oil! (9/7/01 5:24 pm) |
YEAH TEH BEWBIES AER KEWL! |
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