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R U rdy 4 dis?
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poles
"POWER POLE EXTEND"
25%
 25%  [ 1 ]
*power pole extends*
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
*power pole hits bad guys*
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
"thanks power pole" *sucks on it like it was a dick*
75%
 75%  [ 3 ]
Total Votes : 4

           Author           Message
GimpMask
My daddy ate my eyes.
Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 15034
(Thu Aug 30, 2007 7:09 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

Chris, I have no real idea what that thread was about, but I remember when it came about one thousand posts it had some content that made me want to shit my pants and I was holding a jagged bottle to my face
Theldorrin
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 19724
(Thu Aug 30, 2007 7:17 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

I didn't hate that thread. I only hate you.
Seru
Custom titles are for heroes, like me.
Joined: 08 Jan 2007
Posts: 11012
(Thu Aug 30, 2007 7:19 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

Me too.

I also hated the thread.
Big Fagot
Alpha ape
Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 10545
(Thu Aug 30, 2007 7:20 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

"I will never understand" is a good contender.

Too bad there's no thread for it.
Stupid Fucking Faggot
Stupid 30 fuckbag who likes DBZ
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 7037
(Thu Aug 30, 2007 7:25 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

FUCK, I FUCKING HATE MYSELF. FUCK.
Stupid Fucking Faggot
Stupid 30 fuckbag who likes DBZ
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 7037
(Thu Aug 30, 2007 9:47 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

This is really a moment of ultimate destruction and, despite what anyone might think, worse than anything that has happened in some time. My pride has basically been shattered, and I will just have to recover.

I'm not going to post for a couple days.
GimpMask
My daddy ate my eyes.
Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 15034
(Thu Aug 30, 2007 9:49 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

I could delte this thread
Big Fagot
Alpha ape
Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 10545
(Thu Aug 30, 2007 10:21 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

Anyone who doesn't LOL the first time they read the new Annoying Expressions Thread isn't human.
johnbuisthegreat
www.soldierofcock.com
Joined: 07 Feb 2007
Posts: 4769
(Fri Aug 31, 2007 12:55 am)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

shit happens man but lulz are needed
Let My Love Open The Door
I do God's work of raping BITCHES!
Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 6666
(Fri Aug 31, 2007 12:47 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

Schillinger (Jason) used Keller (Gimp Mask) to seduce and destroy Beecher (Chris).
GimpMask
My daddy ate my eyes.
Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 15034
(Fri Aug 31, 2007 1:45 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

Well, he has incredible seductive powers.

Remember when my crazy ex-girlfriend did what she did to get back at me because she thought Jason was deformed and knew that I hated him more than anything and that it was the perfect way to get back at me trying to kill her and generally treating her like a subhuman?

What a fucking victory that was
Big Fagot
Alpha ape
Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 10545
(Fri Aug 31, 2007 1:56 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

Remember when it didn't fucking matter at all and the only two people in the entire galaxy who were more than 0.0000% concerned about it were you who apparently planned on carving out a home in the space under her knee boob and living there until such time as the Universe ended, and Jason who doesn't think of himself as existing except as his perceived worth relates to others?
Theldorrin
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 19724
(Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:15 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

I don't remember any of these things.
Let My Love Open The Door
I do God's work of raping BITCHES!
Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 6666
(Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:30 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

The last episode of season 2 is stalled at 48.6% and I'm gonna bite the tip of my dick off
GimpMask
My daddy ate my eyes.
Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 15034
(Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:57 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

I do Big Fagot, then I stopped drinking half a bottle of gin a day and started taking medication

You need to abandon school adlp and live in an Oz universe instead, you could be Beecher in prison I bet!
Big Fagot
Alpha ape
Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 10545
(Fri Aug 31, 2007 3:02 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

JR: Our next match tonight is a fight between two of the FTUW’s most charismatic losers. They’re a couple of guys that you root for because they’re underdogs, but they constantly fail for the same reason. And so what better locale for their match than Oz.

Harold Perrineau: Oz. The name on the street for the Oswald Maximum Security Penitentiary. It used to be just a set for a TV show, but FTUW has made it real. Brick by brick, Oz has been built identical to the one that appeared in the show’s six season run on HBO, with the only difference being that on TV, when the filming was done, the actors got to go home. This time, we’ve reassembled the cast, “convinced” them to stay in character using surgery and drugs, and made them the backdrop for the greatest (worst) match in FTUW history.

WW: That’s right, the prison is populated with actors who have been coerced to believe they are actually the characters they played on Oz. The one exception is Harold Perrineau here, who is joining us for commentary voluntarily in the character of Augustus Hill. Oz viewers will remember that Hill was an inmate as well as the narrator, so although JR and I will provide commentary from our usual safe distance, it’s only fair that Hill’s commentary should be provided from within the prison.

Perrineau: What? Shit, they told me y’all were crazy! Forget this!

As Perrineau tries to run away, Warrior grabs him by the collar and pulls him back.

WW: The only thing is, you’re not quite Hill yet!

Warrior lifts him onto his shoulders for a torture rack. He then jumps and comes down on his knees, breaking Perrineau’s back and severing his spine, turning him, de facto, into Augustus Hill. The actor’s eyes go wide with shock and pain as he is dumped into a wheelchair. All he can do is caterwaul in agony at the destruction of half his body as a uniformed FTUW soldier pushes his new permanent conveyance out of arena and into Oz.

JR: I am disgusted to have been a party to this.

WW: Unlike our competitors, don’t count on seeing me on my knees again anytime soon!

JR: Let’s go to the match.

Hill: Oh god … my body …

FTUW Soldier: Just read this.

The soldier hands Hill a card to read.

Hill: Prisoner 6047455 – Robert McCoy. Convicted September 2, 2006. Possession of a controlled substance. Accessory to murder. Obstruction of traffic.

Footage of Robert McCoy’s crimes, shot on video, play. After finally being rehabilitated for his injuries from King Shit of Fuck Planet, a male nurse carries his limbless body out of the hospital and sets it down in the street. The nurse walks away satisfied, dusting his hands as McCoy tries to roll out of the road. A shitty old Chevy sedan comes screaming wildly down the street; McCoy frantically tries to squirm away, but ends up being hit by the bumper and sailing 20 yards. The driver, a wiry young Hispanic man, gets out and starts running, but it’s too late. Another car comes around the corner toward McCoy and the driver. When it comes near, two men lean out the windows and slaughter the young man with assault rifles. As he falls, several syringes filled with heroin tumble out of his pocket, lodging in McCoy’s flesh and causing him to ride the white horse. In the last scene of the flashback, a cop handcuffs McCoy by placing the cuff around his neck, and the other cuff around a parking meter, unintentionally hanging him.

Hill: Sentence: Life imprisonment. Up for parole … if he wins the match.

McCoy is shown rolling end over end through Emerald City, dragging his sheets and pillow behind him with his mouth. As he rolls, several disgusting fiends laugh and rub their cocks through their pants.

WW: It seems Robert McCoy is entering Oz already addicted to tits!

JR: Tits, of course, being Oz slang for heroin. One of the surest ways to get yourself killed – or worse.

Robert McCoy’s head jerks to the side, the first pang of withdrawal.

Hill: Prisoner K0K5M0K3R – Bunzo Arakaki. Convicted September 1, 2006. Assault with a deadly weapon. Manslaughter. Rape. Public lewdness. Sodomy.

More video footage, this time of Bunzo. The chink – sorry, Jap – leaves a fast food restaurant in Japantown carrying a carton of hot and sour soup in both hands. Walking by an Italian street thug trimming his fingernails with a knife, he trips and bumps into him, plunging the knife into his chest. Bunzo regains his balance and apologizes before he sees the man’s vacant, dead eyes, and the knife jutting out of his heart. As the thug slumps over, he screams and tosses the soup over his head in shock. He turns to run but bumps into a huge black man, who is wearing Bunzo’s soup all over his head. He grabs Bunzo by the back of the shirt and lifts him up, pulling the shirt over his head. Bunzo flails, accidentally catching his shoelace in the zipper of the nigra’s pants. His pants drop around his ankles, and he lets go of Bunzo in order to pick them up. Bunzo, his vision obscured by his shirt, stumbles around and bumps into the guy, who, with his ankles fastened together by his pants, falls flat on his face. Bunzo topples on top of the guy, crotch to ass, which is how the cop finds them a moment later. The next shot is a judge’s gavel slamming down. Also pictured: the hugest frown in human history plastered across Bunzo Arakaki’s face.

Sentence: Life. Up for parole … if he wins the match.

Bunzo enters Emerald City clutching his blankets to his chest like they’re armor that’s going to protect him from the glares coming from every prisoner in the room. He is insanely nervous, almost crying, and makes no effort to hide this. Imagine Raymond K. Hessel from Fight Club. At one point he trips and drops all his shit.

WW: Bunzo Arakaki enters Oz similarly disadvantaged. He’s already made enemies of the Italians and the blacks just by the crimes that landed him here.

JR: Normally, longtime inmates who might currently find themselves opposed to those groups would approach him with an “enemy of my enemy is my friend” philosophy, but being that he has nothing to offer anyone, I think the warmest reception he can expect is none at all.

A slow pan around the prison shows that every single inmate is giving him an eviler eye than can possibly exist outside of prison. Judging by Bunzo’s face, an analysis of his brain activity would reveal him to be on the brink of full blown insanity from the terror in his soul.

WW: Both wrestlers have been assigned to Emerald City, an experimental unit where prisoners have greater liberties, provided that they obey the rules. The goal will be to achieve a pinfall, but they will be operating within the normal rules of Oz.

JR: The match will take place during a typical day at Oz. Day is about to begin now, and the prisoners, including the two fighters, are now inside their cells.

The lights switch on in Emerald City.

Guard: COUNT!

The doors of all the glass cells unlock. Out of each cell come two inmates. On one side of the floor, bunking with Robert Rebadow, is Robert McCoy.

JR: Bob Rebadow is one of the oldest inmates at Oz. He was sentenced to death several decades ago, but survived his execution and had his sentence commuted to life.

Rebadow: You’re going to win your fight and escape this place. God told me so.

McCoy: Whatever, old man, I just need to get my hands on something to calm my nerves and then I’ll take care of him and get out of here.

On the opposite side of the floor, bunking with Simon Adebisi, is Bunzo Arakaki. He has bags under his eyes and he’s shivering.

WW: It doesn’t look like Bunzo slept last night.

JR: That might be because he was bunked with Adebisi, one of the most ruthless fictional characters in history.

WW: God damn it, he’s black, he has gay sex, and he does drugs, but there’s something about him that rubs me the right way. He deserves better, you know?

JR: Warrior, you have a knack for ferreting out a person’s worst characteristics and giving them the appreciation they deserve.

Adebisi shoves Bunzo’s head for no reason and then laughs kind of the way the Count from Sesame Street would if he were voiced by Barry White. Then he moves his hat even further down the side of his head.

JR: Now that the morning count is complete, the prisoners will have limited freedom to do as they wish.

McCoy rolls over to a fat black guy sitting at the bottom of the staircase.

JR: That’s Poet, as portrayed by the actor muMs da Schemer.

Poet: Taken! From my bitch, my girl, taken from the streets that I love, the picture of, a power above, put in this damn jail cell, this damn jail is Hell, got nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, can’t let them see me cry, I wanna give up but I gotta try, I …

McCoy: That’s great, do you know where I can get something to, you know … take the edge off?

Poet: For real, you got money?

McCoy: Uh …

Poet: Don’t worry about it, first one’s free. He hands him a capsule of heroin.

On the other side of Emerald City, Bunzo watches from a corner and bites his nails.

Bunzo: Oh kami, he’s plotting against me! He’s going to form an alliance with the dark men and have them kill me!

Bunzo scurries away, biting his fingernails. He is intercepted by a tall, goateed black man with a white skullcap.

WW: It’s Kareem Said, the leader of the Muslims in Oz.

Bunzo: Oh no! A dark man!

Said: I am a dark man, but my heart is filled with the light of Allah. You look like a man in need of help.

Bunzo: Help, yes! I need help killing a man!

Said: Then I cannot help you. For a deed such as that you would need to enlist true scum, perhaps an Aryan.

Bunzo: The Aryans … yatta!

JR: Let’s now go see how Robert McCoy is doing.

Robert McCoy is sitting on his bed, with white powder on his upper lip. Then someone comes in through the door.

WW: That’s Cyril O’Reilly. He suffered a head injury before coming to Oz and now has an IQ of 55.

Cyril: Escuse me, youwah sitteeng om my bed.

McCoy says and does nothing.

Cyril: Escuse me.

McCoy just stares.

Cyril: Mistah, I want you ta leave.

McCoy: (lazily) I want you to leave.

Cyril’s face contorts into a hideous grimace. His expression conveys a purer rage than a wiser man can possibly know.

Cyril: I HATE YOU!

Cyril picks up McCoy’s 60 pound body, inverts it, and fucking piledrives him onto the floor so hard it cracks! However, McCoy just flops down and slowly rolls out the open door.

JR: It looks like Robert McCoy is temporarily invincible thanks to the drugs!

WW: We’ll see if he thinks it was worth it in a few hours.

JR: Now let’s return to Bunzo Arakaki and see what he’s up to.

Bunzo approaches a group of several men who are all standing and talking.

Bunzo: Pardon, but are you gentlemen Aryans?

The biggest, most musclebound one of them turns around.

JR: That’s Chuckie Pancamo. He’s the toughest muscle in the Italian crew, and I don’t think he’s happy to see the man convicted of killing one of his countrymen in public.

Pancamo: Va fungule, you short prick. You’re gonna be tits up before the day is done.

Bunzo, who had been enjoying the last few minutes of only about 75% of the maximum amount of fear his brain could comprehend, freezes as stiff as a board. After several awkward seconds, he manages to walk away, but looks like he’s doing the robot (the dance, don’t ask). Someone sitting at a table whistles and motions for him to approach.

WW: That man is Vern Schillinger, the leader of Oz’s chapter of the Aryan Brotherhood and an all around asshole. While my rhetoric falls short of open white supremacy, I am in favor of his other ideals.

JR: What ideals? Every aspect of his personality serves his hatred of all non-white people.

WW: I said what I said, and I’m not taking it back.

Bunzo stands in front of Schillinger, who motions for him to sit down.

Schillinger: I wouldn’t normally make a deal with a chink, but you yellow fellers are the closest thing to white, and you did kill a nigger and a Catholic. We can let you into the Brotherhood, where you’ll have a lot of backup muscle if you want to take care of this mick.

Bunzo: M-m-m-mick?

Schillinger: Yeah, McCoy. But you gotta do something for us.

Bunzo: I h-have nothing to pay with.

Schillinger raises an eyebrow.

JR: Time to check in on Robert McCoy again.

McCoy hobbles on his nonexistent stumps, three inches at a time, while the world spins around him (he’s high, don’t ask). Then, someone stops him.

Poet: You got my fuckin’ money?

McCoy: I thought you said the first one was free.

Poet: Next time I ask, you gonna have my money or else something bad gonna happen to you!

WW: It’s been about 20 seconds so let’s check back on Bunzo.

Bunzo is bent over in a dark closet crying while Schillinger rapes his asshole.

WW: You know, I don’t have as much of a problem with it when it’s Schillinger doing it.

JR: Time for lunch! Robert McCoy is probably coming down from his high about now.

Robert McCoy inches forward across the cafeteria floor like a worm, pushing his tray with his nose. By means that will not be described here, he manages to get his tray onto the table and his body onto the seat. He addresses the person sitting across the table from him.

McCoy: Hi, I’m Robert McCoy. I’d shake your hand, but … you know.

Alvarez: Hi, I’m Miguel Alvarez. My self esteem is too low to ever do anything. I want to kill myself, but I won’t.

WW: What a thrilling character! What’s Bunzo doing?

Bunzo is sitting and crying while eating – except he’s not actually sitting, he’s hovering above the bench so that his ass isn’t touching. Someone comes and sits down across from him.

JR: It’s Ryan O’Reilly, Cyril’s older brother!

Ryan: Hey man, it sucks what that Aryan bastard did to you. I think you might be barkin’ up the wrong tree with those guys. Now, call me crazy, just because my M.O. is to convince other, weaker people to commit my crimes for me, with it usually ending up badly for them, but I think you should take care of that McCoy asshole solo. You should get a weapon and take care of him.

Bunzo: Where do I get a weapon?

Ryan: There’s lots in the infirmary. You just have to fake being sick or injured. Or the real thing will do too.

Bunzo: Arigato, but I don’t plan on going to the infirmary.

WW: Lunchtime is over. Let’s see what’s new for McCoy.

Robert McCoy is in one of Oz’s many dark closets, finishing stacking boxes, which is funny because how did he manage to stack the rest of them, when Poet comes in the door.

Poet: So, prag, you got my fuckin’ money?

McCoy: Sorry, I don’t, but look at me. No arms and no legs. What can you take away from me?

Poet: I’ll think of something.

Poet leaves. Just before the door closes, Chuckie Pancamo slides in.

Pancamo: You the guy that’s got beef with the chink? He killed a member of my family, so we got a mutual enemy. If you wanna do something about it, I thought I would facilitate you.

Pancamo pulls a shiv out of his pants and goes to hand it to him, but something is wrong. He falls over in a heap with an even bigger knife sticking out of his back. A shadowy figure behind him steps into the light.

JR: That’s Christopher Keller! He’s not the toughest guy in Oz, but as you can see he loves killing people, whether he has a good reason or not.

Keller: Fuck that sissy knife. (He pulls his huge machete out of Pancamo’s back and gives it to McCoy handle first. McCoy takes it in his mouth.) Use this one!

McCoy hops out of the closet, a man on a mission.

Keller: (Starts masturbating while thinking about how badass he is)

McCoy hops up behind Bunzo as he’s walking, but because he can’t move quickly, it takes him a long time. While he’s hopping, everybody sees him, which tips off Bunzo that he should turn around.

Bunzo: OH NO! GAIJIN!

McCoy: DIE!

McCoy slices at Bunzo, but misses his stomach. However, Bunzo reflexively puts up his right hand to block, and ends up having it severed on the spot!

JR: McCoy finally draws first blood! Bunzo Arakaki has been maimed!

Bunzo goes down howling and clutching his wrist as guards seize McCoy.

JR: It looks like Arakaki is going to the infirmary, and McCoy to solitary. If McCoy can’t fight then this might go on much longer than planned.

WW: JR, you’re as naïve as ever. This is the FTUW – of course they’ll find a way to massacre each other.

Bunzo lies in his hospital bed, sniffling and cradling his severed hand. He’s always backed down from defending himself, but this is the first time anything like this has happened. It feels different when someone has taken something real from him. Where’s his pride, dammit! He’s going to start doing something about his life, starting right now! He waits until no one is around, and then sneaks out of bed into the AIDS ward.

WW: Watch, JR. What you’re going to see will prove that queering don’t make the world work.

Lining both sides of the wall are hospital beds filled with mostly gay men. The disease is in various stages of progression in their bodies. Bunzo swipes a hypodermic needle and approaches the sickest, gayest one he can find.

Fag: What are you doing?

Bunzo: I get REVENGE!

With one hand, he sticks the syringe in the fag’s arm, draws some blood, and hides the needle in his thick black hairdo. He then returns to his bed.

JR: This is starting to get interesting! In contrast to that, let’s check on the guy in solitary.

McCoy is sitting (although he could also be lounging, lying, standing, crouching … it’s hard to tell with no arms or legs) on his bed alone. Suddenly, the door swings open. A female prison guard enters.

WW: It’s Officer Claire Howell, the ugly whore who likes to have illicit sex with prisoners!

Howell: I understand you’ve got places to be. Well, you do something special for me and I’ll make sure you get out of here as quickly as I deem appropriate.

McCoy: If you’re talking about sex, I’m not really suited for it unless you want to ride me like a sack of flour with a dildo sticking out of it.

Howell: Not quite sex, but you’re close. What I want from you is something other men can’t give me.

She drops her pants and grabs McCoy against his will. She turns him upside down and presses his face against her snatch. She then begins rapidly vibrating his entire body. Moaning with pleasure at her new toy, she doesn’t notice McCoy breathing in deeply through his nose. With a mighty exhale through his mouth, he blows a giant air bubble into her vagina! The urban myth is proven true as the air immediately dissolves into her blood and travels to her brain, killing her. He pulls the baton from her belt and hops out the door.

JR: McCoy has killed a guard! He’s got until they catch him to finish this, or he’s going to wind up on death row, and he knows it!

WW: It’s time for work detail, so let’s see what Arakaki is doing in the mailroom!

Bunzo, his stump bandaged up, stands out a bit among the rest of the Aryans in the mailroom. However, his mind is elsewhere.

Schillinger: You look like your mind is elsewhere.

Bunzo: Is this all I’ve ever done? Back down from everything? From now on, no one takes from me unless they’re willing to pay the price, and that starts with Robert McCoy.

Schillinger: Good luck with that.

Bunzo: I’ll wait days, months, even decades if I have to, but Robert McCoy will pay with his life. My honor means everything to me, and soon everyone will know that.

Nobody is listening.

JR: McCoy time!

McCoy is hopping down the hall when he runs into some fag with curly blonde hair.

WW: That’s Tobias Beecher! He was a trial lawyer convicted of DWI and sentenced to Oz as an example to other white collar criminals.

Beecher: You’re McCoy, right? Listen, I know what it’s like for you.

McCoy: (He spits out the baton) You used to have no limbs?

Beecher: No, I’m a regular guy like you who made one mistake and ended up in Hell. I had to adjust real fast, and in order to stay alive I did a complete 180 and became a lot of things I’m not proud of. I’ve been involved in a lot of deaths here, and a lot of sorrow.

McCoy: Yeah, death and sorrow. How’d that work out?

Beecher: Fine, except basically every member of my family ended up getting murdered in order to hurt me.

McCoy: (Scoffs) You couldn’t even defend your family? Family is all that’s left over after everything else disappears. Family is the core of a man’s life. You disgust me.

McCoy picks up his baton and hops in the direction of the mailroom. He reaches the door and prepares to enter.

JR: Over to Bunzo!

Bunzo Arakaki is sorting packages while glaring straight ahead. For a moment, the light catches the needle in his hair perfectly, and it glistens. Suddenly, the door slams open. Bunzo’s head snaps to attention toward the person entering the room.

McCoy: Alright, where’s Bunzo Arakaki?

The Aryans all shrug or ignore him. McCoy looks around and doesn’t see Bunzo. Then he begins slowly walking through the room.

McCoy: He’s not really very memorable, but … he’s an Aryan, so I guess he’s probably white … I believe he’s bald …

The camera shows that Bunzo is crouched on top of a bookcase above McCoy’s head, HIV-infected needle in hand, ready to strike!

WW: Holy shit! The chink has the upper hand!

Schillinger: Hey, McCoy, you’ve got a package here.

Bunzo silently slides down off the bookcase.

Schillinger: Says it’s from Poet. (He hands it to him)

Bunzo approaches Robert McCoy from behind. McCoy opens the package.

JR: This is it! Bunzo doesn’t care if he gets a pinfall or not, he’s looking for revenge!

Bunzo raises the needle above his head, about to plunge it downward into McCoy’s flesh! But McCoy looks inside the package and sees something he doesn’t like!

McCoy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

JR: What is it! What’s in that box!

WW: It’s a head!

JR: BAH GAWD! It’s the head of McCoy’s ex-wife!

WW: That’s not all! Inside her mouth is the head of McCoy’s son!

McCoy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

JR: Those screams are louder than a jet engine inside a two car garage!

Everyone in the room cups their hands over their ears, including Bunzo! However, he forgets to drop the needle first and plunges it into his temple!

WW: Jesus Christ! Bunzo Arakaki has just given himself a shot of HIV directly into his own brain!

Overwhelmed by the intense rush of incurable disease into his body, Bunzo falls over backwards. Just then, McCoy, overtaken with grief, also falls backward in a faint, landing partially on top of Bunzo. In comes the referee to count the pin!

JR: That’s no referee! That’s Warden Leo Glynn!

Glynn slides in and starts the count!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

WW: Robert McCoy wins! Bunzo Arakaki is now an HIV-positive amputee serving a life sentence in Oz!

JR: This would make him heir to McCoy’s title of unluckiest man in the world, except he had to get addicted to heroin, and his son and his son’s mother were horrendously murdered, for him to get this victory!

Hill: “You can’t win ‘em all,” or so they say. Except in Oz, you just can’t win. Period.

HWAUH (Oz theme song plays)
GimpMask
My daddy ate my eyes.
Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 15034
(Fri Aug 31, 2007 3:25 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

IS THAT WHAT FTUW IS
Big Fagot
Alpha ape
Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 10545
(Fri Aug 31, 2007 3:28 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

Time for fucking MHH90 vs. Handsomus!

JR: Let's DO it!

Handsomus fucking powerbombs himself through the roof of a videoarcade that is Goddamn FULL oof asian whores and alll their boyfriends are there playing street fighter and they're like "what tuf ucki gee, nigga be kill yo fuck" and handsomus is like "I THINK NOT" and fucking starts just goddamn exploding semen EVERYWHERE then he plays his guitar and it magnetizes all the jizz into one genki dama that fires needles into the throats of all the asian whores and injects them with seemen which is full of iron so they die.

MyHEADHURTS is watching via goddamn sattellite from space and he goes "THAT FUCK" and just jumps through his spaceship and KICKS OFF the side blasting downwards into a fireball made of black! He collides with Japan and his body explodes on impact into viscera and blood and veins and bones and blood and shit! But MHH EJACULATES at the moment of impact and the Jizz shoots out grabbing all his intenstines and rubber bands them back into place so that he's totally fine!

"TIME FO FUCKIN JIZZ"

MHH screams this and all the buses and subways in japane morph into steel vaginas which fire asian prostitutes at MHH so fast that they're going over 100 miles per hour!! MHH is like "NNNNNNEEEEEGGGGGGYYYYY!!!!" and down s a bottle of RED FUCK energy drink and just fingers fucking everything in a 1000 mile radius and his finger is made of semen.

Handsomus RAWKS a hole through the building and jumps into the air screaming alloowing his intestines to fire out acid needles that pierce the earth and show it to true meaning of justice! Asian WHores are everywhere and Handsomus is like "EASY WIN" but then fucking jump kicks all of them simultaneously into the sun and goes after an elementary school called JO YOU JOJINGO FUCKARTE JAPANESE SCHOOL OF CHICKS. He smashes through a hole int he wall and 10 seconds later all the windows are oozing semen like a cake exploded.

MHH digs his toes into the ground and pulls out a sewage pipe and also yanks his dick out! He JACKS OFF into the pipe which fits snuggly around his cock while screamming "HOLLLAAAAAA" and all the sinks and drinking recepticles on earth shoot jizz into the faces of the people using them. JR AND WARRIOR look at a scoring device which keeps track of the faces JIZZED and the fucking thing goes out of control and explodes killing everything in the arena but luckily there was another one nearby.

alsdghl;ahsdg;lasdlg Handsomus flies into the air and explodes into semen which fills the earth's atmosphere and turns all the rain on earth into his semen but just as that happens MHH also does the same thing only with the ground by humping a manhole cover and volcanoes blast up all over the earth erupting geysers of white hot spunk! Japane has had enough! It morphs into a giant face supported by crab claws that eject rocket fire and shoots itself over to MHH and Handsomus!

"YOU HAVE SULLIED OUR LANDS FOR THE LAST TIIIIIIME!!!"

"N NNNNNNNNNNOT BY A L_L_L_LONG SHOT SUCKA" and Handsomus and MHH 69 EACH OTHER AND FUSE INTO A GIANT COCK THAT FIRES A CUMEHAMEHA THAT IMPALES JAPAN'S FACE AND THEY ARE BOTH DECLARED the fucking winners.
GimpMask
My daddy ate my eyes.
Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 15034
(Fri Aug 31, 2007 3:42 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

I don't know anything about wrestling besides that it's gay, but would it be ok if I wrote one of these?__?
GimpMask
My daddy ate my eyes.
Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 15034
(Fri Aug 31, 2007 3:42 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: R U rdy 4 dis?

This seems like something I'd be skilled at!
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