Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Seru]

Sorry, I'm actually a demon.

File name: princessaintinanothercastle.jpg.

Created: November 11, 2006.

References: The Shining, Super Mario Bros.3.



No rambling story behind this one. The Shining is my favourite movie and the Hammer Bros. suit is my favourite Super Mario Bros. 3 suit that lets you throw Hammer Bros. hammers. Though how did he break a hole in the door to peek through when he was still in the process of putting on the Hammer Bros. suit? The answer: I fucked up.

[Seru]

I got the skills to beat you and knock you out!

File name: igottabelieve.jpg

Created: November 12, 2006.

References: Parappa the Rapper, Ninja Scroll, Something Peter Jones Said One Time. At least I think it was Peter Jones.



Now this was something. If I ever start a web comic this is going to be the very first entry. It sets a very crass and unpleasant tone. This would also mark my final time using shitty ass MSPaint to make these because of how laborious it was to recreate Raping Rockman with little more than a one pixel brush. And this was back when that program didn't even have a little RULER and only allowed you to undo something once! Needless to say, I want to fuck the history feature in Photoshop and fill it with my demon spawn.

[Seru]

Invade! Squid Girl! The Invader Comes From the Bottom of the Sea!

File name: sssuckit.jpg.

Created: January 04, 2007.

References: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, Pong, My Unyielding Spite.



Cute story. One day Mike Dunn was being a huffy colic ridden baby about how I hadn't made a new banner for the AIM forum or something equally irrelevant. OH GOODNESS, OH GRACIOUS. HEAVENS TO MURGATROID, WHATEVER SHALL WE DO WITH OURSELVES NOW THAT WE'RE LACKING A PROPER AIM FORUM BANNER? I MUST CONFESS, I FEEL A TEENSY BIT FAINT. MERCY ME. THE VAPORS HAVE OVERWHELMED ME. Yeah, he was a flighty southern belle. Or a gay cartoon cat. I'm not really sure what I was going for there. Anyway, I was sufficiently annoyed and came up with the worst possible banner in the least amount of time. And once again my attempt at a clumsy slap in the face was met with a hearty handshake of congratulations. Whatever, at least that AIM forum has faded into the ether.

[Seru]

I can read your mind!

File name: whhhhhhhhy.jpg.

Created: January 04, 2007.

References: Metal Gear Solid, World Wide Wrestling Federation.



Not funny.

[Seru]

I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate you!

File name: cowchris.jpg.

Created: January 4, 2007.

References: Final Fantasy III (AMERIKKKA!), Razytownu, Emperor Pudge.



While I still enjoy this one immensely (Because I got that damn ghost into a contemporary work of art. Why couldn't Gau be that ghost?) I'm mostly just annoyed by the fact that I blew my Final Fantasy III load early and appropriated Kefka's position to such a sickening waste of space. Plus I've wanted to make fake Final Fantasy screen shots about a thousand times in the last five years and I can't because I've been there and done that. ;_;

[Seru]

Hurry!

File name: afantasticjourney.jpg.

Created: January 4, 2007.

References: Bubble Bobble, Castlevania (OK, we get it, you like Castlevania.), Marvel Comics.



Yeesh. So one day I saw a picture of Dr.Doom and thought, oh, hey, Dr.Doom is pretty cool! Maybe if I palette swap him with the Grumple Gromit (Or Super Drunk if you have a steaming hot boner for Japan.) from Bubble Bobble it'll be the greatest thing since that Italian asshole jizzed all over that ceiling in Vatican City? You know, the painting of those two naked dudes that was famously mocked in an episode of Arrested Development? Turns out I was wrong. The Bubble Bobble curse continues.

[Seru]

This squidding sucks, de geso~

File name: fatfuckingrussian.jpg.

Created: Classified information. Lost in the annals of history.

References: Karnov, Berserk, Shit.



Karnov never really managed to shine in these banners, either. This is the fabled LOST BANNER that I scrapped in the early stages of creation because it was absolute dog shit. When ezBoard finally croaked I made a gallery of all the old banners, quickly dummied up some crappy silhouettes to cover my half complete line work and included this as a bonus.

And thus closes the chapter on the ezBoard era. Be ready for part two...a bold new future where I make billions of rad pictures that never get used because some lazy sacks never bothered to add a rotating banner feature!

[Big Fagot]

Seru's writing is so great.

[Seru]

Oh you.

[Yogurtman]

I never got "Xpac loves energy drink". I mean, I remember Xpac and I am fine with the idea of him enjoying energy drink, but I have/had no idea why we were so enamored with the concept.

[Seru]

PART THE SECOND: LOVE, REIGN O'ER ME.

OUR FUTURE WILL BE WRITTEN IN BLOOD.

File name: largetracksofland.png

Created: January 7, 2007.

References: Bubble Bobble (More like Bubble Blahble.), Whale Skulls, German Atrocities.



IT'S A BRAVE NEW WORLD. REJOICE. Now free of the tyrannical masochism of ezBoard and their golden status shackles we entered a new frontier. And the first step into that new frontier was a beautiful new banner that would titillate and awe the lowly peons that would soon be posting. This is what they got. I don't know, I thought a completely realistic portrayal of Baron von Blubba would be gangbusters. Whatever, world. Your comedy rules make no sense to me.

[Seru]

YOUR GODS DESTROYED YOU!

File name: distendedassholes.png

Created: January 11, 2007.

References: Failed Romances, Invisible Orifices, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.



Now we begin the long sad saga of me trying to convince Big Money Brian Lanners to use every banner I could possibly churn out on a rotating basis. Though I think at this point it was pretty obvious to everybody (Especially the cool admins hanging out in their awesome secret admin forum.) that I was just doing this for my own morbid enjoyment. Sadly this scrappy fighter was woefully out of date when I produced it (I never paid much attention to the melodrama between Arch Duke Pallid Pinkface and Duchess Diseased Cunt because I can't comprehend human emotion. Also, yawn!) and left an impression on nobody but me.

Hey, Didja Notice?!: In the first screen Morgan is snuggled between two rocks and is at the tip of a lake. The rocks are ass cheeks. That lake is the top of a vagina! She IS the Phantom Asshole! I know, unsurpassed brilliance.

[Seru]

Free Tibet.

File name: terryboardstein.png.

Created: January 14, 2007.

References: America...Fuck Yeah!, Final Fight, Zionists.



Yeah, I know. But, uh, hey, Geese's nose kind of looks like a dick, right? Pretty funny, huh? I was in a slump!

[Seru]

A bustle in your hedgerow.

File name: tko.jpg.

Created: January 15, 2007.

References: The Best Rocky Movie, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!.



I would surmise that most are familiar with this one. It was our banner for at least 40 years. I always felt despondent when somebody didn't immediately recognize and appreciate what was being parodied. Viewing Rocky III is a right of passage in this day and age. First time vaginal penetration cannot compare to watching two muscular buddies bounding around in the ocean surf in knee-high athletic socks. Rocky learned how to run really damn fast! I love you, 1982.

[Seru]

Welcome to the Terrordome.

File name: matthew1626ibelieve.png.

Created: January 27, 2007.

References: Berserk, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, Matthew 16:26, I believe.



Eh, whatever. I did a proper Mozgus tribute EVENTUALLY. The only thing I recall about this one is Peter saying Dracula looked smug. Well, Dracula is smug. Supremely smug. Anyway, I'm a serious Dracula fan. Big fan of all historical tyrants, really. Ah, Vlad III-sama...

[Seru]

Motteke! Sailor fuku!

File name: calyyyyyypso.png.

Created: June 4, 2007.

References: TRIGUN!, Master Lanners, Twisted Metal: Second Impact, The Ultimate Nightmare.



Calyyyyyyypso! Calypso, what have you done?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! That was easily one of my favourite video game openings, rivaling THE LAST METROID IS IN CAPTIVITY and DIE MONSTER, YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS WORLD. And man, Soul Edge! So many memories. And here's Brian Lanners, lamenting the fact that he let the world see how much he loved Trigun. Trigun was garbage, Lanners. Please admit that before I die. It should also be noted that despite my deep and everlasting affection for Twisted Metal 2 I was actually pretty awful and only ever used Minion. I also never understood the fascination with Sweet Tooth. This new entry they're bringing out also looks less than fun.

[Vinny]

Hey, great stuff, guy.
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[Seru]

Boris the Spider.

File name: seafoodsoup.png.

Created: February 28, 2008.

References: The Stone Cold Bible, Final Fantasy Drei, Doom.



I have a bold and demanding question for each of you. Did anybody ever use Relm? And if so, why would you do that to yourselves? And I don't want to hear any, "Uh, duh, she has the highest magic stat!" bullshit. The only thing that actually improved my opinion of Relm was when my running mate Big Brian Lanners (Man, me and that guy were pretty tight!) offhandedly remarked that Shadow was Relm's father. This was something I completely overlooked in my billion playthroughs of Final Fantasy VI and I still feel like a mentally deficient and possibly illiterate dipshit for not making that connection. The vagueness of the original translation probably didn't help much. Then again, I'm also the guy that overlooked Miles Prower. Sigh. Anyway, go back to my previous Final Fantasy post and watch the Ultros Boogie again. Ha ha!

Hey, Didja Notice?!: Relm is using a RAINBOW BRUSH, which was originally her ultimate weapon. And it's still completely useless against Ultros. The comedic aspect comes into play when you realize Ultros was originally completely annihilated by Relm in their first encounter. Juxtahilarious!

[Seika]

Hey, Relm is still better than Gau and Umaro.

Also I ordered Squid Girl the day before yesterday, did I waste my money?

[Theldorrin]

I always hated Stago.

There wasn't much of a point in doing anything but repeatedly casting Ultima for pretty much everyone, though. So yeah, Gau and Umaro.
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@}-,-'- *~*~* Member of the FTU Elegant Tea Party Society *~*~* -'-,-{@