Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Ryoko's Biatch]

As a man is lowered by his own intestines into a pit of unimaginably horrible creatures, another pleads for his life. The executioner stands without acknowledging the cries, slowly unwinding the spool of bloody thread. The screams are the only noise he hears, using the sound to gauge the decent. When they dim and are replaced with panting, he assumes that a limb must have been torn from the socket and the rest is now out of reach. Sometimes if a criminal dies before he reaches the bottom, he just drops him in. If you wait too long, the creatures won't eat the corpse. They like their meat fresh.

"Okay, you're next," the executioner says, pointing to the crying man in chains. "You have been accused of crimes against the empire, attempting to withhold the taxes owed and worshiping false gods. How do you plead?"

"Fuck, doesn't anyone have mercy? My wife, my daughter! My daughter is only an infant! You can't do this, it's not right!"

"How do you plead?"

"But- I didn't do anything wrong!"

"HOW DO YOU PLEAD?"

"I- I- I plead innocent."

The executioner reads a piece of parchment and clears his throat. "This court hereby finds you guilty of crimes against the empire. In a show of benevolence, the Emperor has allowed you to choose your method of execution."

A horn blows, sending a wave of relief through the condemned man's body. He watches the doors of the castle balcony swing open and the herald walk through, a scroll in his hands.

"I hereby announce the matches of the gladitorial combat event titled Slaughter Serenade: A Sanguine Symphony of Melodious Maiming, as set by His Majesty, Emperor Caligula Claudius Tiberius Lightning, to take place on the 8th of April. In our first match, Lunar Plexus, the city killer, will face Harold Underwood, super agent and slayer of bears. Second, we will observe the deadly mercenary Deimos defend himself from the feral might of Thrak. Thirdly, the team known as Church and State, composed of Reverend Zeebo Sykes and Uncle Slam, do battle the team of last month's champion, Victor Powers the Younger, The ILLUSIONIST, and Jazz Fantastic, the musical prodigy. The Japanese, Kanzaki Kenjiro, will combat Alexander Sparta, the impressively powerful youth. Then the gilded gladiator, Glorious Titan will test the mettle of Axelrod Waylyn, master of the art of rock. Next, Doolittle, trained by the illustrious Professor Higgins, and Nicholas Sparta, a young man of unlimited potential. In our final match of the evening, the newcomer Rex Alexander and Corporal Body, the blood-stained militarist, will entertain us with their feats of strength.

"Once again, a grand prize will be offered to the most impressive athlete, chosen by Our Lord, the Great Emperor Lightning. He will offer a grand banquet dedicated to this man, in which only the finest dishes in all of the Empire will be served. This is a great honor, one that should not be refused. Few who find themselves in the presence of God will walk away in health after beholding his unrivaled visage up close.

"This imperial decree will be distributed to the client kingdoms of the Empire. The Emperor gives thanks for your time and kindness in attending his event as it is mandatory and noncompliance will be punished to the fullest extent."

With the announcement complete, the executioner looks down to the man at his feet. "What method of execution do you choose?"

"Whatever is the least painful." He's finally resigned himself to his fate. His wife and daughter were as good as dead anyhow. Maybe they already were. Perhaps they were being saved for the emperor's feast. He shivers at the thought. Then he feels a sharp pain in his anus as it is penetrated by a ten foot long rod, which is lifted erect once inside. Slowly he slides down, feeling his organs ripped to shreds. It will be 23 hours before he dies.

[Seru]

Seems a little lacking.

[Ryoko's Biatch]

I forgot to mention the specialty matches, but there are three of them.

Not that anyone gives a fuck.

[Seru]

You know it.

[Big Fagot]

The Spartas are going to be pissed!!

[Mautty]

Sweet lunar plexus is going the fuck down.

[Vinny]

LUNAR PLEXUS VS. HARRY UNDERWOOD

DEIMOS VS. THRAK

KENJIRO KANZAKI VS. AL SPARTA

CHURCH & STATE VS. THE ILLUSIONIST and JAZZ FANTASTIC

GLORIOUS TITAN VS. AXELROD WAYLYN, in a bout to be decided by the twisted machinations of the Wheel of Fatality.

DOOLITTLE VS. NICK SPARTA, in a match to be decided by the cruel whim of the Wheel of Fatality.

REN ALEXANDER VS. CORPORAL BODY, in a bout to be decided by the absurd spin of the Wheel of Fatality

The top four ranked combatants after this Pay-Per-View will compete in the next event's main event, a match to decide the GRAND CHAMPION of EMPEROR LIGHTNING'S BLOODSPORT.

[Seru]

Date?

I've got a busy week!

[Action Hank]

[Seru]

Oh.

That's no good.

[Seru]

Lunar Plexus died on his way back to Castlevania.

[Vinny]

Actually, April 8th may be bad for me, too, despite the fact that I told TL what date it should be.

It may be pushed back an extra week! Especially since only like three people promo'd.

[Ryoko's Biatch]

Works for me.

[Big Fagot]

Lunar Plexus died for nothing!

[Action Hank]

It was never confirmed by aliens in space

[Mautty]

So the PPV is Next week or what because if its tomarrow Ill have to pull some promo out of my ass. I have to make the Frankenberry fight awesome.

[Vinny]

Next week. I have too much shit to do to get it out earlier.

[Mautty]

Cool tomarrow was way too soon anyway.

[Mautty]

Also in the begining of the last PPV you said murder had jungles but murder is in the desert do you not care about geography?

[Ryoko's Biatch]

Vinny has a limited understanding of geography.