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(#22) VIC POWERS: THE ILLUSIONIST
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Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Sat Apr 14, 2007 8:16 pm)
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Post     Re: VIC POWERS: THE ILLUSIONIST

The Bebop Shogun lowers his golden saxophone from his lips and smiles as the audience erupts in applause, having witnessed one of the greatest saxophone duels.

"Not too bad," the Bebop Shogun says. "You've improved. Let's see how much."

He starts to play again. It's Body and Soul, one of the most played saxophone standards. The song that created Bop. Simple in its melody, complex in its mastery. The band plays along while JAZZ watches as the Shogun, eyes closed, plays it smoothly. Softly. Members of the audience suddenly find themselves standing and dancing around, none in control of their faculties. They laugh nervously.

Then, the song begins to change form. A few dissonant notes mix in here and there in a way that makes them seem more natural than the actual notes. The audience members jerk around, bodies flailing. A sly smile appears at the edge of the Bebop Shogun's lips, and he hits a note real hard. Two members crash into each other. There's blood.

JAZZ's arms begin to shake. No, he thinks. No, this can't be.

Yes, the music seems to reply. It is.

And suddenly the song changes. All the Things You Are. And things get messy. Audience members start shouting in agony as the Bebop Shogun plays violent and sharp notes, as if they are being cut internally or about to give birth. And they do give birth, as their insides pour out of every orifice. JAZZ tries to scream but cannot. The Fantastic Four stops playing, horrified at what's happening.

The Shogun plays on.

I must stop this, JAZZ thinks. I have to.

No, you can't, the music seems to say.

JAZZ fights back. He finds strength. He finds the power to raise his sax to his lips and plays in response. The notes flail helplessly under the prowess of the Bebop Shogun. More audience members begin to violently turn inside out. People are trying to escape, all rushing to the door, crushing each other in panic. The Bebop Shogun plays on.

I MUST! JAZZ thinks. I HAVE TO STOP THIS!

Just try, the music seems to say.

JAZZ reaches deep. He searches for that fire, searches for that part of him where the music comes from. And then he blows back.

The Bebop Shogun's fingers slip as he stumbles backward from JAZZ's notes.

"YES!" the Shogun says, removing the sax from his mouth. "NOW THIS IS ART!"

He blows back at JAZZ. But it isn't All the Things You Are. It's Take the 'A' Train, and JAZZ flies backward and smashes against the wall, as if being crushed by a locomotive---of music. His bandmates are knocked over as well.

JAZZ slides down to the ground.

"Aw," the Shogun says. "Should I have killed you five years ago? Where's that potential that I heard?"

He turns and blows the Take the 'A' Train into the audience. People go flying left and right. Blood splashes over everything.

"NO!!!!!!!!" JAZZ suddenly rises and blasts out a bar of GIANT STEPS! The Bebop Shogun is surprised, and barely gets out of the way as everything around him is crushed by a massive unseen force.

The Shogun waves a finger, and then beings to play Epistrophy. JAZZ counters, but his saxophone warps and explodes in his hands from the stress of the alternating chord patterns. Shards of the sax slice JAZZ's face and legs and impale "Ain't Afraid of No Ghosts" Morales, killing him instantly. Others slice off "Bloody Knuckles" Jones's hands at the wrists.

The Bebop Shogun stops playing. He slowly walks up to JAZZ, his wooden sandals clopping. JAZZ holds his bloody leg, the reed still sitting in his mouth.

"If you're gonna bop, you're gonna need a better piece," the Shogun Says, and tosses JAZZ his sax. "When you learn to master the Birth of the Cool, come find me."

Then the Bebop Shogun turned and walked away, past the piles of corpses of his audience.

JAZZ holds the sax in his hands and stares at it. It feels hot.


-------------------

The Escapist and Hypnotits ready their attack, when suddenly, from outside, there is the sound of motorcycles!!!! There is a violent shudder as the front door explodes.

"WHAT IS THIS SOUND I HEAR!" shouts a deep, powerful voice amid the cloud of dust. "THE DEVIL'S MUSIC!"

Reverend Zeebo Sykes steps into the bar, surrounded by King David's Cool Posse still on their motorcycles.

"BEGONE DEVIL!" Zeebo shouts, and raises a bible into the air. "And let the glory of GOD sanctify this wretched pit of sin and debauchery!"

Several goons try to flee, but Zeebo moves fast, blades extend from his bible and he tosses it like Krull decapitating the sinners.

"God be praised!" Stuart says. Several larger, less intimidated goons rush in to attack, but are met with a giant crucifix made from motorcycles. The wheels are still spinning. Stuart whips the motorcycle crucifix around, smashing tables, destroying walls, and crushing goons with his might.

JAZZ doesn't stop playing.

"I SAID, STOP THIS BLASPHEMOUS NOISE OF HEL!" Zeebo shouts. "AND EMBRACE THE WILL OF GOD!"

JAZZ lowers his sunglasses, and then nods. He begins to play Confirmation.

Zeebo, not amused by the pun, leaps at JAZZ with a massive knee.

"Hey, I know you!" Vic says, suddenly stepping in the way of the attack. "You're from that postaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhgggggggggffff," he face meets knee, and Vic is knocked across the room, hitting tables, debris, and goons like a pinball.

"Ah, the devil himself appears!" Zeebo says, extending a finger at Vic. "How dare you use the dark arts!!! YOU DEFY THE MAJESTY OF THE LORD!"

The ILLUSIONIST spits some blood as he gets up. He notices another tooth has been lost. He sighs. What will his father think if he shows up with all these missing teeth? As he reaches to pick it up, he's violently clotheslined by Zeebo. He actually spins around Zeebo's arm a few times before landing on his back.

"Aw, cat," JAZZ says. "Let me give you some help. This might work."

He plays JuJu.

"I SAID TO STOP PLAYING!" Zeebo shouts, turning towards JAZZ. "NOW YOU'LL TASTE THE LORD'S MIGHTY JUSTICE!"

He doesn't notice Vic rising behind him. He doesn't notice the sudden breeze.

"REVEREND!" Stuart shouts, dropping a goon's head onto the ground. "BEHIND YOU!"

Zeebo turns just in time to see the ILLUSIONIST levitating in the air.

"What----WHAT DEVILRY?!!"

Vic raises his arms and the ground begins to shake. A massive black cabinet rises from the earth. There are three doors to the cabinet, and each is open.

"Please, sir, step into the box," The ILLUSIONIST says, but his voice is not Vic's. It is the strange, deep, accented voice. The box flies towards Zeebo.

JAZZ keeps playing.

"REVEREND!" Stuart leaps into the air and tosses a goon just in time. It gets swallowed by the box, which then closes and suddenly breaks apart into three pieces, rotates into the air, and reforms. The doors open again and the rearranged body of the goon falls out. Head where feet shout be. Crotch at the head.

"SWEET LORD!" Zeebo shouts, and stumbles backwards.

"We should get out of here!" Stuart says.

"Please, sir, step into the box!" the ILLUSIONIST says.

Zeebo and his men turn and flee.

"This isn't the last you've seen of me!" Zeebo says. "I will punish you for your sins at SLAUGHTER SERENADE!"

And then they are gone. JAZZ stops playing. First the box falls to the ground, then the ILLUSIONIST follows. JAZZ leaps and catches his partner.

"What happened?" Vic asks. "I blacked out there for a moment. Where is the DILETTANTE? I thought I heard his voice?"

"Shiiit," JAZZ says. Kimchi stumbles over, having finally loosened himself from his chains. The Hypnotits and the Rapist Escapist are nowhere to be seen.

""배설물! We better clean you up, master," Kimchi says.

"Yes, that would be nice."

"A-hem," the inkeeper says. "Who's going to pay for this damage?"

And so, the ILLUSIONIST, JAZZ FANTASTIC, and Kimchi hand over all the money the goons had given them. But it wasn't enough. They would have to work to pay off their bills, but that will have to wait until after SLAUGHTER SERENADE!


Last edited by Action Hank on Sat Apr 14, 2007 9:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
Big Fagot
Alpha ape
Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 10544
(Sat Apr 14, 2007 8:24 pm)
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Post     Re: VIC POWERS: THE ILLUSIONIST

The Hypnotits is a humorous name.
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Sat Apr 14, 2007 10:00 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: VIC POWERS: THE ILLUSIONIST

I have a weakness for puns.
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