Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Jason]

I: Batman, The Predator, The Rock, Steven Seagal.
II: Godzilla.
III: Raoh.

VS.



I: Lost to Galactus.
WC: Mad Max.
II: Hermione.
III: Alucard (Castlevania).
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

[Seika]

Patton

[Action Hank]

Patton

[Vinny]

Ricky Williams
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[L Ron Butterfly]

Ricky Williams

[Potatoes]

Ricky Williams

[MisfitMan]

Patton

[FancyMichael]

Pattoon

[RPtotheMax]

Patton

[Ryoko's Biatch]

Ricky Williams

[Jason]

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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

[Yogurtman]

Patton

[Magic Juan]

Ricky Williams!

[YES]

PATTOM

[L Ron Butterfly]

I'd like to see what Jason decides to do with those last two votes.

Do they cancel eachother out?

[Jason]

One of them counts.
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Last edited by God on Fri Apr 05, 33 4:00 am; edited 1 time in total

[cloacal kiss]

Patton is in a tent, grimacing at maps, planning his next battle. Smoke beings pouring in from under the walls.

"MY GOD, THOSE KRAUTS GOT THE JUMP ON ME!!" he bellows, getting out of his chair. He takes a deep breath to recover from bellowing and experiences a rush of cheerfulness and good will towards everyone.

"MY GOD, THOSE KRAUTS... THEY'RE... THEY'RE NOT SO BAD AT ALL!"

He leaves the tent and sees the entire camp is covered in smoke. A hulking shadow stands by the gate wearing some sort of padding, but all his other features are obscured. The smoke seems to be pouring out of his mouth like a crazy human fog machine.

"Hey, you! Come over here! I... I love what you've done! Come here and we can listen to my army radio!"

The shadow shakes its head faintly, takes a step backwards and is gone.

"Oh well. I wonder who he was!"

Suddenly Rommel parachutes into the middle of the camp! He's got a pizza.

Patton smiles and runs over to greet him. "Rommel, you magnificent bastard! Where did you get that pizza? Want to come listen to my army radio?"

Rommel smiles and says "I parachuted in here to assassinate you but I don't even feel like it anymore! I figured I would finish the pizza before I landed, if you're wondering why I brought it on the mission. But look, there's two pieces left! Do you want them?"

"Sure, thanks! You know what? I think we should be a lot better friends."

"I think so too! Let's team up and end this stupid war!"

(Years or months or whatever later; Nuremberg)

Patton is sitting in a cell looking bewildered. He is so absorbed in thought that he fails to notice the man standing before him. "I've come to finish what I started, George" says a beautiful voice. Just from the sound of it Patton is flooded with the feelings of pure love and joy that he experienced on that cursed day in the desert. Nevertheless, he is upset about being executed.

"WHO ARE YOU!? WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME!?"

Ricky Williams's expression is serene but inscrutable. He holds his palms out like Buddha.

"AND HOW DID YOU GET IN MY CELL?"

Without speaking, Ricky Williams walks over to George Patton and locks him in a passionate kiss. Too stunned to resist, Patton is even more surprised when the delicious smoke from before starts pouring into his mouth. He wants to fight, but perfect brown arms hold him completely immobile.

"THEY... they want to kill me" he murmurs against the wet, ample lips.

Ricky Williams breaks the kiss and rests George Patton's head on his shoulder. "When they told me I had to fight in this tournament... I knew I would be required to hurt people."

"Who, Ricky? Who is making you fight?" says Patton, playing with Ricky Williams's hair.

"ZOG" says Ricky Williams sadly. "I thought by uniting you with Rommel, you would finish the Holocaust and I would be free of my cursed assignment."

"But if we did, wouldn't that mean even MORE people would die?"

Ricky Williams looks into George Patton's eyes, smiling faintly. Recognition dawns in the disgraced general's eyes. "Oh... But... Jews aren't people..."

Ricky Williams nods once.

"Please, Ricky, you have to help me. They want to string me up out there!"

"There is nothing I can do to save your life, but if you wish I will help you the only way I can."

"Anything, Ricky. I'm so... scared."

Without a word Ricky Williams begins releasing weed smoke from every pore in his body.

"In Ancient Mayan culture, there was a method of execution reserved for people of the highest honor. They called it Death By Weed."

George Patton smiles.

The room is so thick with smoke that the two men can't even see each other even though they're kissing deeply again. "Will you stay with me, Ricky? Until I... pass?"

"I'm afraid I can't, George. I have... another assignment."

George Patton lets out a quiet sob.

"But George, I did bring you something to keep you company." He reveals George Patton's old army radio!

"Now I must go." With that Ricky Williams teleports away.

George Patton lies down on his cot, smiling though the tears roll down his face. While he knows he must die, he is equally sure that he was able to live more fully than any other man who ever lived. All because... of Ricky Williams.

[Servbot]

Ricky Williams

[Vinny]

That story was beautiful.
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[L Ron Butterfly]

That reminds me, I was reading one of my collegiate text books just now, and I came accross the word "diachronic."

I was like, "Diachronic? You can't die a' chronic!" haaAHHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

But seriously, I shed a single tear.