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SuperPsaturn SuperPSaturn Joined: 21 Jan 2007 Posts: 2111 (Sun Dec 21, 2008 5:36 pm) Reply

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I'm posting this on the Marley and Me imdb messageboard. |
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hrrrn shut up ya durn stupid mutt
*gyrates in seat spilling beer on wife-beater*
Gus: YAIN'T GOOD FER NUTTIN'!
*Gus chugs his BREW while gigastomping his whimpering golden retriever in the face. Once a glistening and majestic coat it is now a matted collection of dried vomit and broken promises.*
Gus: TAHME FER SOME DINNER!
*Gus kicks his stupid whiney dog to the side of the trailer as he spins his 600 pound frame in his government issue lazy-boy: patriot. He pulls back a tin lid to reveal a ridiculously extravagant banquet of food. For some reason gourmet hams and pastries are in this otherwise nightmarish setting of cockroaches and old issues of Maxim magazine. as he mashes a giant mitten-like hand into the general area of food the dog weakly raises its head slightly and looks up with its one eyeball that wasn't used as a shortlived gear shift for an impractically tiny car. Gus' tiny yellow teeth barely are able to bite into the mound of food that mostly oozes out the sides of his disgusting jowels.*
Gus: HRMM YOU EYEIN ME, BOY!?
*Gus attempts to stand up from his lard support station but gravity quickly insists otherwise and the despicable lummox stumbles shaking the tiny trailer and raining down countless knickknacks picked up at various gas stations. The sudden movement causes him to make a quick gasp sucking down a turkey ripcage and lodging it snugly! He doesn't even notice the pain of his ankle bones exploding under his weight as his snot encrusted eyes sink into his cold retarded face....
....BUT THEN he feels a warm sensation along his back! He looks down and sees two PAWS clutched around his stomach from behind! Somehow the dog has dislocated its limbs and fit them around the scumbag's astronomical belt size and is applying pressure! With one final JERK Gus fires the ribcage out of his mouth and it sails across the podunk garbage pail of a home and smashes through the window. The dog leaps away from surely being crushed just before Gus falls backwards and leaves a gravy soaked crater in the floorboards. Gus looks up at the dog with shame in his eyes...*
Gus: Ya...Ya saved me...Even when I treated ya like some kinda chinese.
*The dog timidly nudges its nose under Gus' chubby fingers. Gus sheds a single tear that smells like beef stew.*
Gus: Thank you....Marley.
THE END! |
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Big Fagot Alpha ape Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 10545 (Sun Dec 21, 2008 9:33 pm) Reply

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Re: I'm posting this on the Marley and Me imdb messageboard. |
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The Internet is awesome. |
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bitter gigatron Joined: 25 Jan 2007 Posts: 824 (Mon Dec 22, 2008 8:15 am) Reply

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Re: I'm posting this on the Marley and Me imdb messageboard. |
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Quote: | as he mashes a giant mitten-like hand into the general area of food the dog weakly raises its head slightly and looks up with its one eyeball that wasn't used as a shortlived gear shift for an impractically tiny car. |
Christ. Hahaha! |
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cloacal kiss Bearded and bald baby is the worst of all worlds Joined: 12 Mar 2008 Posts: 2039 (Mon Dec 22, 2008 10:05 am) Reply

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Re: I'm posting this on the Marley and Me imdb messageboard. |
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My only objection is that an obese redneck shut-in would have a Maxim collection. His trailer should be littered with soiled TJMaxx catalogs or something. |
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SuperPsaturn SuperPSaturn Joined: 21 Jan 2007 Posts: 2111 (Mon Dec 22, 2008 4:41 pm) Reply

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Re: I'm posting this on the Marley and Me imdb messageboard. |
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They deleted my thread! |
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johnbuisthegreat www.soldierofcock.com Joined: 07 Feb 2007 Posts: 4769 (Mon Dec 22, 2008 4:50 pm) Reply

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Re: I'm posting this on the Marley and Me imdb messageboard. |
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i checked first |
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bitter gigatron Joined: 25 Jan 2007 Posts: 824 (Wed Dec 24, 2008 8:49 am) Reply

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Re: I'm posting this on the Marley and Me imdb messageboard. |
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Servbot Overrated faggot Joined: 20 Jan 2007 Posts: 9020 (Wed Dec 24, 2008 8:58 am) Reply

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Re: I'm posting this on the Marley and Me imdb messageboard. |
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Spoilers! |
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