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ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!
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Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:54 pm)
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Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

YES IT WILL BE!!!!!!

YES IT WILL BE!!
Spamdini
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1322
(Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:20 pm)
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Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

Summary thus far

Trillionaires' Club

Wilson P. Hickenbottom: ELIMINATED. Beaten via pinfall by HvT.

Sinclair Mohammed: ELIMINATED. Killed by a Reverend Sykes/Jake Callaghan Holier Driver.

Charles Artemis: Just stepped in the match for the first time. Undamaged thus far.

Chief Fisting Falcon: Fought against Jake Callaghan and Zeebo Sykes, receiving some minor wounds in the process.

King Hoity von Toity: Hasn't so much as lifted a finger yet and has claimed he will not even have to step in the ring.



Ghosts of von Toity

Macho Man Randy Savage: ELIMINATED. Counted out after he and Warrior got into a brawl outside of the ring and wandered off.

Detective Jake Callaghan: ELIMINATED. Badly beaten by the combined efforts of Sinclair Mohammed and Chief Fisting Falcon. Submitted due to his wounds and in order to try to save the life of Zeebo Sykes.

Reverend Zeebo Sykes: ELIMINATED. DQed/KOed when he ran in the way of Chief Fisting Falcon's Invincible Palm.

Rudy A. Washington: Just stepped in the ring for the first time. Only fresh member left of his team and left to shoulder his team's load on his own.

HvT: Defeated Wilson P. Hickenbottom, but badly hurt by the Trillionaires' Clubs team-up attacks and is too badly wounded to step in the ring again. Not officially eliminated, however.

Any comments/feedback thus far?
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Tue Oct 14, 2008 9:48 pm)
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Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

Excellent work. Maybe more death? Will you continue after this is finished? I think once I ever get around to finishing the last few of my promos, I am officially done with FTUW.
Spamdini
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1322
(Wed Oct 15, 2008 4:24 pm)
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Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

No clue. Probably in some limited capacity, and more if we ever get PPVs running again.
Spamdini
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1322
(Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:50 pm)
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Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

It is several minutes before the staredown ends and a man throws the first punch. It is Artemis who unloads with a perfect right hook straight to Rudy's face! The punch connects before Rudy has a chance to notice it and he begins to buckle under the shock from the blow. The second attack is a spinning backhand from that very same right hand, catching Rudy across the other cheek and causing him to sway in the opposite direction. The final blow is a back kick delivered deep into Rudy's gut, sending him flipping backwards across the mat and crashing into the ropes!

Cole: What a murderous assault by Charles Artemis! Rudy wasn't even able to react in time to block the blows!

Ventura: Being a gentleman is a great gimmick, but in the ring it's roughneck badasses like Stone Cold who get the job done. Well, HvT is fucked now!

But it is Artemis who is clutching at his stomach as Rudy manages to rise to his feet.

Artemis: Not bad. You were able to counter that spinning punch with a body blow and used my own momentum to make it hurt.

Rudy: The origins of boxing stem from gentlemen settling disputes with just their fists. Naturally, I am aware of its nuances.

Artemis: So you think you can beat me just using boxing? Damn you Rudy, don't do this again! Use your Art of the Gentleman and fight me for real!

Cole: What's this? Rudy and Charles Artemis have fought before?! What kind of history can these warriors possibly have?

Bowing his head down, Rudy sighs as he wipes a little blood off his face.

Rudy: Mr. Artemis, I promised you that I would fight you for real once I mastered my art. Well, it took several long years but I finally managed to perfect the Art of the Gentleman.

Artemis: So use it already! And another thing, take off those damn sunglasses! I'm gonna smash them into your eyes if you don't!

Rudy: Do not worry, Mr. Artemis. These sunglasses are designed perfectly for battle and fashion. They will not break so easily. I cannot take them off right now for reasons I cannot explain at the moment. As for the reason why I choose to box you, it is because I wish to trade blows with the perfect gentleman of the ring: Mr. Charles Artemis!

Artemis: ?!?!

Ventura: Did Rudy just call that big raggedy looking oaf a gentleman?!

Rudy: You are unlike your comrades, Mr Artemis. You fight with a sense of honor and pride. The fight is not the means to an end; it is the experience itself that drives you! That is why I wish to experience your world in order to make my style truly complete.

Artemis remains silent for several seconds before raising his fists into a boxing pose. He says not a word but his eyes tell Rudy that he accepts the challenge.

And so Artemis charges forth and sends a left straight flying towards Rudy's face. Dodging it beautifully, Rudy counters with his own left hook which cuts through the air like a sword as it travels towards the temple of his opponent. Swaying back at the last moment, the bridge of Artemis' nose is cut open by the punch, but he suffers no other damage. Using his sway for extra momentum, he comes up with an uppercut that misses its target by an immeasurably small amount. Punch and counterpunch fly through the air at speeds too fast for the human eye to register as the crowd watches on in awe. True to his word, Rudy uses nothing except boxing and is still able to hold his own against the mighty Charles Artemis. To his own credit, Artemis stopped using his deadly kicking techniques and is using only his fists to engage his youthful and immensely talented adversary.

BA-DUM! Two fists finally connect with their intended target and both Artemis and Rudy are sent flying back where they both collapse on the mat! The ref, too stunned by the exchange, takes a moment to come to his senses before starting the KO count.

Ref: 1...2...3...

HvT: In...incredible...

Chief Falcon: They are both quite impressive, do you not agree Master von Toity?

von Toity: Bah, whatever. I'm not watching this garbage! Wake me when it's over.

Both warriors make it to their feet before the count is finished. Rudy curtsies in acknowledgment of Artemis' talent.

Rudy: Thank you Mr Artemis. I can see your world is a difficult one to live in, bound by the rules of the ring and the fear of one punch ending your career or your life. The fact that you have thrived so long shows you are indeed a ring gentleman.

Artemis: Heh. Do you know why I retired from kickboxing and joined von Toity, boy?

Rudy: Why is that sir?

Artemis: Cuz one day I said, FUCK DA RULES!!

And with that, Artemis grabs Rudy by the collar of his shirt and headbutts him in the face. While he staggers from the blow, Artemis follows up with a kick straight to his balls causing the gentlemanly Rudy to scream in pain and clutch at his wounded manhood. Tearing off his own shirt, Artemis wraps it around Rudy's neck and begins to choke him out in the center of the ring. As Rudy begins to turn blue, he drops to one knee and the energy begins to leave his body. Not wanting to be so gentle, Artemis lets go of the choke and bounces off the ropes, hitting Rudy in the back of the head with his knee. Rudy collapses and Artemis goes for the pin.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Artemis curses and begins to pound on Rudy's face from the mounted position. Hammer fists rain down and all Rudy can do is cover up in order to try to soften the blows. His muscular physique provides an effective shield against almost any assault, but Artemis is both tenacious and crafty, able to fit even his massive, calloused fists through the slightest holes in his guard.

Artemis: Die punk!

Rudy: Wait, don't do that! Don't you know that vase is an ancient Ming Dynasty artifact?!

Artemis looks down at the vase and stops his fist just in time to prevent it from being smashed.

Artemis: Shit, you're right. It'd be a shame to break something as valuable as that. WAIT, WHAT?!

Before he realizes that the vase has taken Rudy's place, it is too late and Rudy has escaped and is on his feet again.

Rudy: Well Mr Artemis, if being a dirty fighter is your true style then I shall face you with my true style! Now witness the Art of the Gentleman secret technique: Philanthropy Rush!

Dashing forward, Rudy's arms begins moving so quickly that it appears as if he has a hundred of them. All of them close in on Artemis who doesn't move an inch. WHAM! Rudy is sent flying backwards by some invisible force and lies on the mat shaking from the impact.

Rudy: URGH!!

Cole: What happened?! Was that Rudy's attack?!

Ventura: Fucking up and falling on your ass is more your style, Cole the Hole. As in a hole for faggots to put their dicks in.

Artemis: So I guess even you couldn't see that one. I can see for once that you were legitimately surprised by that attack.

Rudy gets to his feet and attempts his wacky move again, only to be repelled by the same unseen force. A slo-mo replay on the Faggotron shows that the culprit is the dreaded ARTEMIS ARROW!

Ventura: This lightspeed punch made Charles Artemis a legend in the underground fighting arena. Can Rudy solve the unsolvable punch?

Gritting his teeth, Rudy charges head-on in hopes of barging through, but is once again launched back by the intense speed and power of the Artemis Arrow.

Artemis: The mighty goddess Artemis was known as a noble huntress and her arrows would always strike true. You have no hope against fighting against a god, Rudy. Is blasphemy part of being a gentleman?

In spite of these crushing blows, Rudy is able to stand up again.

Rudy: Mr. Artemis, you're remarkable. I guess it's time...to remove my sunglasses.

The crowd gasps in shock as Rudy removes his sunglasses. For the first time, his eyes are revealed to all. Sparkling blue like the ocean, they dazzle all present and every woman in the arena swoons simultaneously. Normally this is an excuse for them to be raped vigorously by the rabid hordes, but most of the men are equally enamored and develop man-crushes on the ridiculously handsome and cool gentleman. Artemis, being ultra-rugged, is unfazed.

Artemis: So, uh, you wanna make out or something? I don't get it.

Rudy: With the glasses gone, I can truly see the beauty of the world for what it is. And I shall see your Artemis Arrow as well.

Artemis: We'll see about that! ARTEMIS ARROW BARRAGE!

Artemis' arms seemingly disappear as he unloads with a flurry of deadly Artemis Arrows. Undaunted, Rudy runs forward again and the world seems to go slow-mo. Each arrow has the ability to KO or kill a normal man, and yet Rudy charges willingly into the endless barrage. With mere millimeters of space separating the reach of the attack from Rudy's face, his eyes shine bright and he immediately dips down and Charles Artemis loses sight of his target. He shoots the Arrows downwards in hope of hitting something, but strikes nothing but air. In a flash, Rudy has dashed by Artemis and runs his fingers through his hair.

Rudy: Mr. Artemis, this fight with you has been a true...treat!

Artemis: Why you..URGH!

And that's when Artemis looks down and sees that his right knee has been replaced by A DELICIOUS CREME BRÛLÉE! Artemis screams in agony from having his patella replaced with a tasty dessert!

Cole: Oh my god! That looks delicious!

Ventura: Nigga ain't got no knee!

Standing his ground, Artemis keeps the Artemis Arrow stance. However, he is noticeably affected by his current affliction.

Rudy: Mr Artemis, there is no way your Artemis Arrow will work in your condition. That was just a sample of my style. Let us try this again...PHILANTHROPY RUSH!

Once again, Rudy appears to have a hundred arms as they move at superspeed with great grace and elegance. This time, however, Charles Artemis is unable to plant his feet down and counter with his even quicker Artemis Arrow and is rendered defenseless. A hundred blows descend upon Artemis, each one delivering a gift for him! Food items, wads of cash, jewelry, works of art; each item striking one of Artemis' vitals and causing severe damage.

Rudy: Are those French cuffs? Try these cufflinks from Swiss artisan. Your complexion is unhealthy. How about this hydrating cream?! You look like you enjoy golf! This driver will add 20 yards to your game!

A hundred blows later, Rudy pulls out a glass eye and shoves it in Artemis' empty socket. However, the impact from the blow concusses his brain and delivers the final blow of the onslaught. Standing there in the center of the ring, well dressed, wielding all sorts of elegant art and food items, Artemis looks like he should be the happiest man on Earth. However, he is barely able to keep himself upright following the string of attacks. He sneers and curses under his breath at the elegance and the brutality of the fighting style that Rudy had developed through his years of journey and training. Truly, this had been worth all the wait.

With his opponent stunned, Rudy gets in close and sets him up for the finisher.

Rudy: RUDYHAMMER!

Artemis: Hold on! Don't do that!

Rudy: ?!

Cole: Is Artemis giving up? He does look like he's barely able to even stand!

Artemis: After all those gifts you gave to me, there's one you've been withholding from me. How ungentlemanly of you. How could you not give me...A RUDY BUSTER?!


Last edited by Spamdini on Sun Dec 28, 2008 3:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
Spamdini
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1322
(Sun Oct 26, 2008 3:25 pm)
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Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

The crowd, shocked by Artemis' proclamation, watches on intently as Rudy nervously hesitates to deliver his Rudyhammer.

Cole: What in the world is a Rudy Buster, Mind?!

Ventura: Have the steroids affected your eyeballs, you retard? It's listed as Rudy's finisher in his bio. Except that there's no description for the move!

Flashback to about six years ago

Rudy, still one of von Toity's guards, has just finished turning an assassin's hands into a scale model of the Great Wall of China, crafted with exquisite attention to detail. The assassin screams in pain and horror as he is not only crippled, but his wrists bound by the mini-structure.

Rudy: My lord, are you unharmed?

von Toity: Ha ha, excellent work as always Rudy my boy!

From behind, however, the assassin emerges with tears streaming down his face and a look of absolute hate in his eyes.

Assassin: I'LL KILL YOU SO HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!

Surprised that he was able to continue attacking in spite of his affliction, Rudy barely dodges his own stone sculpture being swung at him. Fortunately, the assassin's movements cease instantly as an axe kick caves in his skull.

Artemis: Artemis Special!

Later that day, the five guards convene in the training facilities of Castle Toitula. Artemis begins to chastise the young warrior for his slip up.

Artemis: Your style may be fancy 'n shit, but that fuck up was inexcusable!

Wilson: We are fortunate that Lord von Toity was unhurt. Thankfully, Mr. Artemis was ready for action.

Sinclair: Heh heh heh! I is told you da boy ain't nah'ting compared to Sinclair!

Chief Falcon: ...

Rudy: I apologize, my comrades-in-arms. I accept complete responsibility.

Artemis: Look, you've got talent kid. Tons of it! But a bunch of little wacky moves aren't gonna cut it! Sure, they'll take down the normal pussies of the world, but there are some people who will keep fighting till the bitter end. You need to make sure they NEVER get back up. You need a finishing move! The Chief here's got one hell of one with his palm, and I made my money with that kick you saw before. The crazy sex-fiend over here has his Trinny Trinity and Wilson's got his Hostile Takedown. Even von Toity's come up with something he calls Fortune 216. What about you?

Rudy: A gentleman doesn't rely on one move. He is a man who is expert in all things of the world.

Artemis: Jack of all trades eh? Try that out and one day you'll get killed by someone with more balls than you!

Rudy is taken aback by this. He had never thought about it before, but he then realized that he may have been lacking the sort of intestinal fortitude that it takes to be a true gentleman and not just your average dandy. Over the next few months, Rudy practices techniques that he may use as a finisher. It is here that he develops some of his trademark techniques such as the Rudy Kick, the Rudysault and the RuDDT. Seeing someone playing Street Fighter II in an arcade, he even adopts the Psycho Crusher as an attack. Finally, he develops the deadly Rudyhammer, using it to crush anyone who is foolish enough to tangle with the now hardened warrior. Still, he feels incomplete.

One day, Artemis sees the Rudyhammer being used on a disgruntled employee who attempts to create a union for von Toity's workers. He is impressed with what he sees.

Artemis: There! Now you have a finisher! That little cocksucker ain't ever gonna get up again.

Rudy: It...doesn't feel right?

Artemis: ??

Rudy: The more I think about, the more I believe you are right about finishing moves, Mr. Artemis. But I also feel like I was destined to have a specific one in mind. In my dreams, I've been hearing two words over and over again: Rudy Buster. The Rudy Buster must be my true finisher!

Artemis nods. He doesn't have the heart to tell him that when Rudy was asleep the other night in the embrace of a gentle woman, Sinclair was in the window shouting "Rudy, bust 'er pussy open! Rudy, bust 'er!"

Months fly by, but even through intense meditation Rudy is unable to conceive what the Rudy Buster may be. A sense of failure washes over him and he feels that he may be doomed to a life of mediocrity as a fighter and as a gentleman. That is when he sees it. A television is on in the Castle Toitula lounge and it is tuned to Chris Benoit vs. Dracula, the hottest PPV of the year. Dracula has Benoit on the ropes when something magical happens! Slipping behind his unholy opponent, Benoit wraps his arms around his waist and performs a devastating wrestling maneuver!

Rudy: W...what was that?!

Soldier: Huh? That's a German Suplex, stupid! It's nothing to be shocked about.

At that moment, he was mesmerized. Stone Cold Stunners are powerful, but are reserved for roughnecks and hooligans. Powerbombs are equally mighty, but are about as graceful as a bull in a China Shop. This German Suplex, however, incorporates everything that Rudy has envisioned in a finisher!

Solider: Bah, that move looks flashy, but it never wins the match. It's too weak.

Rudy: So...it needs to be stronger...

It is this event that triggers Rudy's leaving the side of Baron Hoity von Toity, leading to von Toity joining FTUW which is turn allowed today's battle to transpire.

Back to present day

Artemis: So you gonna make a move or are you gonna stare into space all day?

Rudy: I...

Artemis: Lemme help you out.

Artemis takes his bloody and broken fist and shoves it into Rudy's face, knocking him back and breaking the hold. Blood shoots from Artemis' near destroyed hand, a shrimp fork embedded deep within it from Rudy's previous onslaught. He tucks the protruding bones back under the skin and forms his mangled hand into something that resembles a fist. He fires it straight at Rudy's head, but it misses by a mile and is countered by Rudy Kick right across his chin! But he doesn't fall!

Cole: That Charles Artemis is a fighter! He won't give up!

Artemis: C'mon, use the Rudy Buster!

The words barely escape Artemis' mouth, courtesy of a mouthful of shattered teeth and a broken jaw. Rudy, trying his best to ignore his opponent's taunts, leaps onto Artemis' shoulders and begins using his arms to swing around his body. He finishes off by delivering the dreaded RuDDT! Rudy pins Artemis.

ONE!

TWO

TH...NO!! KICK OUT! ARTEMIS JUST WON'T GO DOWN!

Rudy: Mr. Artemis...why are you doing this? You can't win!

Outside the ring, Chief Fisting Falcon is watching the match intently even if King von Toity has completely ignored it and has chosen this opportunity to get a complete manicure.

Chief Falcon: Artemis, are you...?!

Rudy picks up Artemis and leaps into the the air, bringing his elbow down across Artemis' abdomen as he slams him into the mat.

Rudy: RUDYHAMMER!

The pin! ONE!

TWO!

TH...KICK OUT AGAIN! Rudy is incredulous! He stands up and just stares at his half-dead opponent who is lying on the mat, just struggling to breathe.

Rudy: Mr. Artemis, the Rudy Buster...still isn't complete. But you must know that, don't you?

Artemis smiles as he just barely gets to his feet.

Artemis: C'mon kid, use me as your guinea pig!

Rudy: Mr. Artemis, the Rudy Buster is not perfect yet, but I do know this much: Even in its incomplete form if it connects you will DIE!

Artemis: Heh, you think a pipsqueak like you can kill me?

A charging headbutt from Artemis catches Rudy off-guard and he's knocked back. Going on offense for the first time in quite some time, Artemis uses his one good leg to leap onto Rudy's shoulders and begins wailing on his face with whatever part of his arms that is still intact.

Ventura: That was one of AWESOME FUCK!!!'s specialties! If his body wasn't so injured, Charles Artemis would be able to squeeze Rudy's head at the same time and really put the hurt on!

Cole: What heart and guts by Charles Artemis!

But heart and guts only go so far. Artemis' left elbow shatters to pieces as the arms dangles helplessly from his torso. He lifts his right arm to strike, but the injuries to his legs cause him to slip from his perch on Rudy's shoulders and he tumbles to the mat, wounded and slow to get up.

Ventura: Heh, first time I've ever seen a guy hurt himself punching an opponent's head in.

Tears gush from Rudy's eyes as he stands there in the center of the ring. In spite of everything he threw at Artemis, he was still able to come back with a flurry of punches that rattled his skull. Still, Rudy will not be outdone in toughness either! He stands tall and proud, not showing any damage from the beating he had taken from the mighty veteran's strikes. Using what's left of the energy in his body, Artemis lifts his tattered legs and leaps into the air, bringing an axe kick down towards Rudy's skull.

Artemis: ARTEMIS SPECIAL!!!

Rudy: Mr. Artemis, you have taught me much about the power of a finisher. It is quite ironic that without your advice all those years ago, I may have been the loser today. You are a true gentleman! However...HERE IS MY FINISHER!

And with that Rudy has vanished! Before he can react, Artemis has been grabbed by behind by Rudy's thick muscular arms! They both fly up in the air as Rudy performs the most elegant and impressive German suplex ever witnessed by man! The arc resembles a rainbow, contrasting a violent storm in the sky with its beauty. As they hurdle downwards, Rudy takes his feet and uses them to pull back on Artemis' chin! Artemis' body is aimed perpendicular to the ground, creating some sort of insane German Suplex/Piledriver hybrid! Charles Artemis just smiles and looks over to Chief Fisting Falcon, who is watching the attack intently.

Rudy: Rudy...BUSSSSTER!

CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRASH! The move finishes with Artemis' face connecting with the mat as it absorbs the full impact of the attack! His neck snaps like a twig as the epitome of grace and destruction sends a shockwave the reverberates throughout the arena. Words fail to describe it so here's more or less what it looks like:



Unable to move anymore, Charles Artemis falls limply on his back with his head twisted around like some sort of discarded ragdoll. Rudy reluctantly makes the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Rudy has eliminated Charles Artemis! Turning his fallen adversary's head around straight, he clasps his hands tightly and stares into his eyes, seeing the life drain from them.

Artemis: N-now THAT'S a fin-finisher. You're o-on the right track, boy.

Rudy: Mr. Artemis...

Artemis: F-fisting Falcon is going to c-counter it, you know? He s-saw it and knows its weakness.

Rudy: Weakness?!

Artemis: Y-you'll figure it out. C-complete the Rudy Buster, boy! It's been f-fun fighting with...

Before he can complete his sentence, Charles Artemis dies in Rudy's arms. Rudy nods and lays his valiant rival down. In a flash, he's already constructed an urn with intricate art chronicling his magical career from his early kickboxing days, to his underground arena battles, to his most epic fights as a bodyguard for King von Toity and for Guan Fei. Rubbing his hands together quickly, Rudy's hands glow red hot and he lays his palms on Artemis, reducing him to ash from the heat. Using an ancient Incan fan dance, Rudy commands the wind and blows the ashes into the urn.

In a tribute to Artemis, Rudy takes a pair of scissors and cuts off his long ponytail. Using salon-quality equipment, he trims his hair short and styles his hair to look exactly like the late Charles Artemis, though with a cranberry-scented hair gel to keep in hair in place.

Rudy: No finer gentleman has there ever been. Mr. Artemis, I will not let your death be in vain!

Chief Falcon: Nor will I.

Chief Fisting Falcon is now in the ring and he stomps towards Rudy and stares him down. He nods and allows Rudy to put the urn safely outside the ring.

Chief Falcon: I have seen the Rudy Buster. Know this, it will not work on me! I will end this match here and now!

Rudy: My complete Rudy Buster will be a present that I may place on Charles Artemis' grave! Have at you!


Last edited by Spamdini on Sun Dec 28, 2008 4:10 pm; edited 1 time in total
Spamdini
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1322
(Mon Nov 03, 2008 11:46 pm)
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Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

Chief Fisting Falcon wastes no time charging forward with his palm outstretched.

Chief Falcon: INVINCIBLE PALM!

Undaunted, Rudy stands his ground and stares his foe down. At the last moment, he ducks down and prepares a mighty attack! However, Chief Fisting Falcon knew the dodge was coming and...OOOOOH!...stopped short. He instead swings his left fist right into Rudy's face and sends him flying with his pure might. Not a man who gives up so easily, Rudy lands on his feet and goes on the offensive.

Rudy: I made a delicious pot roast just for you!

Chief Fisting Falcon swings his palm, turning the a air a murky shade of gray around its path. Rudy dodges the attack however and dives through the darkened air in order to replace the man's stomach with the pot roast. However, the roast comes out as a hunk of spoiled meat and falls uselessly to the ground as Rudy bounces off of the rock solid chief. For the first time, his Art of the Gentleman has failed outright!

Chief Falcon: Your style is the epitome of etiquette and style. But my Invincible Palm is dirty, battle-worn and vile overall!

He extends his palm outward, showing the various scars, calluses, blisters and dirt. The friction from charging forward so often has left the skin charred and thicker and tougher than tanned leather.

Chief Falcon: As a result, I can cancel out any technique you might try to use on me. Your Art of the Gentleman is useless!

Rudy: In that case, I must use my...WRESTLING!

Once again, Rudy charges at Fisting Falcon and slides between his legs. Getting behind him, he grabs him and German suplexes him into the air!

Cole: COULD THIS BE ANOTHER RUDY BUSTER?!

In spite of Artemis' proclamations, the Rudy Buster is cinched in and both men crash down towards the ring. The impact shakes the entire arena and raises a giant dust cloud! Apparently the ring was really dusty.

Cole: I can't believe it! Rudy was able to defeat the mighty Chief Fisting Falcon in just two minutes! I never thought he'd be able to do it! Now The Ghosts of von Toity are up 2 to 1 and King von Toity has to step in the ring!

Ventura: Uhhh, I guess you're not very familiar with dust clouds and what they mean about fucking up your expectations about a situation. Look now that the dust has cleared.

Rather than having his face and neck driven into the mat, Chief Fisting Falcon is handstanding, supporting his body and Rudy's with a his unfathomably thick arms! Sneering, he brings his legs (which had been pointed straight up in the air) down and slams his heels into Rudy's face! After being introduced just a few minutes ago, the Rudy Buster has already been broken!

Chief Falcon: You are quite outstanding, Rudy. Your techniques, your strength, your speed, all top notch. However...YOU DON'T FUCK WITH ME!

A Invincible Palm charge by Chief Fisting Falcon is barely dodged by Rudy, who keeps his composure in spite of the fact that none of his attacks are working.

Rudy: LION PUNCH!

A lion bursts out from under the ring and tries to punch Chief Falcon. However, his Invincible Palm reduces it to a pulpy mass before its boxing glove-clad paw can get anywhere near his face. Bits of lion flesh fly into the crowd and are quickly devoured by the bloodthirsty and starving masses. The tickets for this event were so expensive that most had to forgo food for a month in order to afford them. Some even sold what few rations they had in order to cover the difference. Through the mess of guts and blood, Rudy emerges in mid-air crashing down upon Chief Falcon!

Rudy: Rudysault!

Throwing his entire body at him, Rudy flips into his opponent and knocks him to the ground, making a pin at the same time.

ONE...

Rudy is effortlessly flung off! A completely unharmed Fisting Falcon stands up and tries to punch Rudy in mid-air as he descends from being tossed so casually from his pin attempt. Using cat-like agility, Rudy handstands on Chief Falcon's fist and launches himself off, shoving both feet into his opponent's face. However, there is nearly no effect and Fisting Falcon grabs Rudy's feet and powerbombs him into the ground hard.

Cole: Nothing Rudy does is working! Chief Fisting Falcon is indestructible!

Rudy: RuDDT!

He spins around on Chief Falcon's head in an attempt to dizzy him, but the noble Indian warrior stands tall. Rudy attempts the swinging DDT portion of the move, but can't drag Falcon down! Instead, he gets put in a bearhug and has the air squeezed out of him by the tree trunk-like arms of the massive chief. After delivering headbutt to the face, Chief Falcon tosses the battered gentleman to the mat and grins like a maniac while appearing about 100 feet tall due to questionable perspective.

Chief Falcon: You fought well, but there's no way you can win! But since you were nice enough to show me your ultimate finisher, I'll show you mine!

Using his left hand to brace his right wrist, Chief Fisting Falcon begins to concentrate all of his energy into his right palm. It begins to glow red-hot as the gray murky aura expands around his body, forming a dome of ungentlemanliness. Steam starts to rise as the energy in his palm reaches its peak. In spite of the damage he has suffered, Rudy gets to his feet and uses a sewing kit to stitch up the tears in his clothing as well as any open wounds. In a matter of five seconds, he has cleaned himself up nice and proper and you would not be able to tell how hurt he is if not for the heavy breathing and the bruises.

Rudy: Chief Falcon, you are indeed a powerful foe. Possibly the strongest I have ever encountered and by far the most difficult. However...

He moves his hands around at lightning speed before taking a battle stance.

Rudy: I promised the man in my corner that I would bring him victory. And a gentleman never goes back on his word!

HvT: Rudy...

Chief Falcon: DIE! FALCONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE PALM!!!!!!!!!

He flies forward using his flaming hand with a fiery falcon appearing around him! Rudy flies forward as well, taking the Falcon Palm head on!

Ventura: Rudy's lost his mind! He's looking to get himself killed!

Rudy reaches into his shirt and pulls out a couple items. Whatever they are cannot be seen because once again he is moving his hands far faster than the human eye can follow. Both men close in on each other with Chief Falcon's massive flaming aura making Rudy seem like a mouse trying to take a bull on in a game of chicken. The energy is so great that tendrils of flame shoot off and begin incinerating the crowd! Not a single man, woman or child takes their eyes off the match, even as their eyeballs begin to melt out of their skulls!

They clash! The resulting impact causes a flash that blinds everyone in attendance. Once the flash subsides, both men are on opposite sides of the ring, no longer facing each other.

A large burning palm mark is present on Rudy's torso!

U...URGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Cole: !!!

Ventura: !!!

Rudy: ...

Chief Falcon: W...WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY HAND?!

Rudy turns around and applies ointment to his chest wound while Chief Falcon clutches his right hand. As the smoke clears, we can see that his Invincible Palm...IS NOW SMOOTH, SOFT AND WELL MANICURED! In Rudy's hands are several smoking emery boards, nail clippers and many tubes of moisturizer!

Rudy: Art of the Gentleman: Helping Hand! Your palm was blocking all of my strikes with its ungentlemanliness, so I had to make it classier. Now it is a hand worthy of escorting a lovely young lady up the stairs to an elegant soirée. Of course, it doesn't seem all that invincible anymore.

Chief Falcon: My...my years of training. My people's legacy! You've undone my Invincible Palm and turned it queer!!!

Cole: Now he can use his Art of the Gentleman on Fisting Falcon!

Rudy: With your palm sealed, I can now fulfill my promise to Charles Artemis and HvT.

Taking advantage of Fisting Falcon's shocked condition, Rudy puts his fingers in his mouth and whistles. Seemingly out of nowhere, Cirque de Soleil performers appear from every which way and begin putting on an extravagant show involving juggling chainsaws, somersaulting through barbed wire and all sorts of acrobatic techniques while leaving out all of the gay avant-garde artistic garbage. Rudy grabs hold of Chief Falcon as the acrobats form a human totem pole. Both wrestlers are high up in the air by the time the 15-man tall column collapses and both warriors begins to tumble to the outside of the ring!

Once again, Rudy has Chief Fisting Falcon in the German Suplex position and begins to set up his ultimate finisher: the Rudy Buster!

Chief Falcon: Ha ha ha! This is your plan? Suplexing me from a greater height? You fool! Even without my Invincible Palm, I'm plenty strong to counter this again!

Rudy: I told you...that I would show you...THE PERFECT RUDY BUSTER!

Hooking his heels under Chief Falcon's armpits, he locks both arms in place so that he can no longer move them! Now the Rudy Buster is locked-in completely but Chief Fisting Falcon's arms are both outstretched sideways so that he can no longer use them to brace the blow!

Chief Falcon: Im-IMPOSSIBLE!

Rudy: Thank you, Chief Falcon. Were it not for you and Mr. Artemis, I would not have been able to complete the RUDY BUSTER!

Having fallen about 80 feet in the air, all of the combined weight of Rudy and Chief Fisting Falcon impacts directly on the chief's face and neck as they hit the ground outside the ring! The impact is so great that the ground shatters around them and a hole opens up with both men tumbling inside! James Leitch appears at ringside.

Leitch: Oh no! This arena is actually suspended above Hell itself! *wicked ass guitar solo*

The fires of Hell are visible as the two hard fought wrestlers tumble to their eternal damnation. The crowd goes silent as only the heartless referee begins the count-out call.

ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Cole: DAMN IT ALL! How can he be so callous?! Rudy just gave that match everything he had, fought against impossible odds and now he's dead!

Ventura: Technically he's probably not dead yet. That likely won't happen until he fallsdeep enough that his bones burn to ash. Should take a few minutes at least.

FIVE! SIX! SEVEN!

HvT: NOOOOO! RUDY!!!!

von Toity: Chief Falcon!! Damn you Rudy! You weren't supposed to die like that!

EIGHT!

WAIT! A hand emerges from the hole! It's Rudy! Rudy climbed his way out of Hell! AND WHAT'S THIS?! He's got Chief Fisting Falcon in his other arm! He climbed out of Hell while carrying all 400+ pounds of the chief!!!

Cole: Oh my God what an amazing gentleman! He even saved his opponent's life!

Ventura: Even my cold calculating heart has been moved by this art of heroism and awesomeness.

Rudy stands tall and stares down King von Toity who is staring incredulously.

Rudy: Mr. von Toity, it's your turn to get in the ring now. Show me that you're still the perfect gentleman I once idolized you as.

NINE!

He turns to HvT.

Rudy: HvT, I'll leave this to you. Fight valiantly with all your heart! I know you can do it!

Slinging the unconscious Fisting Falcon over his shoulder, Rudy begins making his way to the back.

TEN!!! Both Chief Fisting Falcon and Rudy have been counted out! The match is now down to just the von Toitys!

HvT: Thank you for everything Rudy. You're more gentleman than either one of us so-called blue bloods will ever be.

In spite of all the damage he suffered in the opening of the match, HvT leaps into the ring with renewed vigor and begins swinging his arm around wildly to get the crowd going.

HvT: You and me, von Toity! FTUW won't have to suffer through your cowardice and corruption any longer!

And so for the first time, King von Toity puts his foot in the ring and stares down his hurt, but much more confident and rowdy opponent.

Cole: THIS IS IT FOLKS! THE FINAL SHOWDOWN! THE LAST MAN STANDING WILL BE THE SOLE OWNER OF FTUW! THE LOSER...NOTHING! LET IE BEGIN!
Spamdini
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1322
(Wed Nov 05, 2008 9:47 pm)
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Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

Cole: We're back folks! I hope you enjoyed that commercial for Dr. von Toity's Rape Rod, now able to rape 25% more women and/or men than before!

Ventura: Because we know who YOU'LL be using it on, Cole.

This match has finally reached its final chapter and now HvT is standing in the ring awaiting King Hoity von Toity to get in and fight. HvT is clapping his hands and riling up the crowd while von Toity calmly wipes off his boots and climbs in the ring. With an aura on unusual confidence and nonchalance, he applies a new coat of mustache wax in order to ensure that his facial hair is at its most twirly and evil. In his hand is his trademark jeweled cane, which he spins around while chortling like an asshole.

HvT: Drop the cane and fight me fair and square, coward!

von Toity: Ho ho ho! No, I don't think so. In fact, I do not think that I will be fighting you at all!

Von Toity presses one of the buttons on the shaft of his cane. No sooner does he do so that two dozen goons burst up through the ring and all begin beating down HvT with clubs, baseball bats and maces!

Cole: THAT DEVIL, VON TOITY! HE'S GOING TO CHEAT HIS WAY OUT OF FIGHTING!

Ventura: Hey, this is FTUW. You can pretty much run over your opponent with a tank and it'll be OK. Heck, it's probably suggested! I'll be sure to pitch my Panzer Tank on a Pole match to King von Toity once he's done winning.

BUT WAIT!!! HvT is fighting his way out of the pile of goons! Devastating punch after punch, he sends the mohawked freaks flying and begins to really get the crowd on its feet! One goon lands in bleachers and rabid HvT supporters pull his skin off and form a flag with it, using blood to paint a giant "H v Fuckin' T"! The rest of his body is pulled apart bit by bit and tossed into the air like confetti! Another dozen goons come out from the back and they try to get in and overwhelm HvT, but to no avail! Though he is busted up and breathing hard, the goons all hesitate to approach HvT!

Von Toity: Sigh...idiots.

He's so busy fighting off the goon squad that HvT fails to notice von Toity sneak up behind him! Using the other button on his cane, von Toity jams the tip into his double's back and sends 100,000 volts of electricity coursing through his body!

HvT: GRAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Smoking and battered, HvT collapses to the ground. The previously hesitant goons all sneer as they eagerly stomp his badly hurt body into the mat. Von Toity shakes his head over the general uselessness of goons, but leaves them to complete the job of killing his opponent so that he'll never have to fight. The referee wants to get in and stop the fight, but is afraid to get between so many insane 7 foot giants and their prey, so he decides to wait till they've beat him to death before calling the bell.

Cole: Looks FTUW won't be changing owners after all. Poor HvT fought so hard too.

Ventura: Rookie mistake. You don't go up against a heel and expect a clean match. Unfortunately, when your opponent is the great King von Toity, you don't get a second shot in order to learn from your mistakes.

Von Toity waves off his hired help and puts HvT's half-dead body on its back before placing a single foot on his chest and pointing up to Heaven.

Cole: The arrogance!

The ref makes the pin count.

ONE!

TWO!

MUSIC BEGINS BLARING THROUGHOUT THE ARENA! Von Toity is so startled he lifts his foot off HvT and stops the count!

Von Toity: What the hell?!?!

When a man of ill repute gives you unease

Cole: WAIT A MINUTE! I KNOW THAT SONG!!!

Don’t exercise tolerance, stand with pride

Ventura: NO FUCKING WAY! IT CAN'T BE!!!

A man of strength blooms once a moon

von Toity: NOOOOOO! IM-IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

Now it is time to achieve truth!

von Toity: YOU'RE FUCKING DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!

I’m a Real Chinaman
My spear is sharp and loves challenge
I’m a Real Chinaman
Thank you, you die the best!


THE ROOF OF THE STADIUM EXPLODES, EXPOSING THE NIGHT SKY! LIKE A SHOOTING STAR FROM OUTER SPACE IS THE GHOST OF GUAN FEI CHARGING DOWN ON THE GHOST OF HIS HORSE AFRICAN DREAM!

Cole: GUAN FEI! GUAN FEI! GUAN FEI! GUAN FEI CAME FROM THE AFTERLIFE TO SAVE HVT!

African Dream crushes four goons to death upon landing in the ring! Guan Fei jumps of his back and smashes two more goons' heads together, shattering them like watermelons! One stupid goon runs at him, but he effortlessly tears him in half vertically, leaving his skeleton still standing there in the ring! Guan Fei uses the bones as projectiles and riddles another 5 goons full of ribs and limbs! BAM! Spearface to a goon! Spearface to yet another goon! Third Spearface! Now it's a Jade Arrow, uppercutting a head clean off! He leaps up in the air and kicks the skull like a soccer ball which bursts through the chest of another hapless goon! Only 5 goons left! Two of them flee for the lives but African Dream FUCKING SUPLEXES THEM IN HALF! A ghost horse suplexed two men to death!!! Double Diamond Cutter decapitates two more men simultaneously! The last goon is so frightened that he violently shits himself, rupturing his colon and causing him to die in a pile of his own blood and shit!!!

Entire crowd: GUAN FEI! GUAN FEI! GUAN FEI! GUAN FEI!

Von Toity is just standing there, too shocked to even move at this point! Guan Fei stares him right in the eyes and uses his hand to motion him to bring it on! In his stupor of fear and astonishment, Von Toity stumbles backwards slightly and bumps into African Dream. He looks up at the giant black horse whose breath seems more like steam coming from some sort of unholy machine of death. AFRICAN DREAM SUPERKICKS VON TOITY IN THE FACE! VON TOITY JUST TOOK A 2 TON HORSE'S METAL CLAD FOOT RIGHT TO THE CHIN! Staggering around on dream street, he wanders right in front of Guan Fei. JADE SPEAR! JADE SPEAR! GUAN FEI TACKLES THE SHIT OUT OF VON TOITY AND LEAVES HIS UNCONSCIOUS BODY LYING ON THE CANVAS!!!

The crowd is going ape shit to the point where almost everyone is masturbating furiously in public! Guan Fei lifts his hands up in the air and flashes two middle fingers at the crowd. He climbs up to a turnbuckle and signals to a roadie who tosses him two jugs of rice wine. He slams the jugs together and chugs them both before repeating this process in every corner of the ring! Having finished his duty, Guan Fei climbs back on his horse and they gallop back up to Heaven. While rising up, Guan Fei recites one last poem for the crowd.

A man's virtue is not tested in armies of men
But in the passion that is revealed when
All hope seems lost and your body is broke
But you retain the hearts of the common folk
So HvT, win this battle and you will become
The greatest hero to everyone!


With that, Guan Fei and his steed fade into the heavens, forming a constellation in the sky spelling out the letters "FTUW".

Cole: Words fail to express how completely awesome that was!

Both HvT and von Toity are knocked the hell out and are lying motionless on the mat! The ref begins to make the ten-count, but rabid fans rip off his arms in order to prevent the match from ending in a draw. One fan slips his own arms inside the ref's amputated limbs and declares himself the new referee, much to the delight of the crowd!

A few minutes later, both men begin to stir. Now they are both badly hurt and now there is no one left to interfere! Eventually, they are both able to make it to their feet and HvT and King von Toity stare each other down with their swollen eyes. The real final battle...is about to begin!
Spamdini
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1322
(Sat Nov 08, 2008 2:07 am)
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Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

Awh, I was hoping at least one person would have responded to this by now. ;_;
Ryoko's Biatch
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 9255
(Sat Nov 08, 2008 3:53 am)
Reply

Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

I've been reading!
My Head Hurts 90
Joined: 19 Jan 2007
Posts: 3445
(Sat Nov 08, 2008 5:06 am)
Reply

Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

Hey, I talked to you in the chat about it!

Rest assured, this is very awesome.
Magic Juan
Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 8709
(Sat Nov 08, 2008 12:17 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

GUAN FEIIIIIII
Spamdini
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1322
(Sat Nov 08, 2008 12:41 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

Thank you. My spirits are higher now! The end is nigh so hold on to your britches!
Servbot
Overrated faggot
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 9020
(Sat Nov 08, 2008 2:44 pm)
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Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

I also like this PPV.

*reveals shirt that says "#1 FTUW FAN"*
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Sat Nov 08, 2008 6:29 pm)
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Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

My guts exploded and the exploded chunks of my guts spelled out FTUW on the floor.
Yogurtman
Odin
Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 2248
(Sun Nov 09, 2008 1:08 am)
Reply

Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

Shit!

Ultimate power.
Spamdini
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1322
(Mon Dec 01, 2008 1:46 am)
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Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

Cole: This is intense folks! Von Toity just got the shit knocked out of him by the ghost of Guan Fei and now HvT has had a chance to recover from his beating!

Ventura: Hmph, but that beating he took at the hands of Wilson and all those goons was a lot worse than what von Toity just took. Our good king still has a huge advantage here!

With his opponent still groggy and not fully conscious, von Toity sneers and dashes forward, swinging a big right fist towards HvT's face. WITH SUPERHUMAN REFLEXES, HVT CATCHES THE FIST AND COUNTERS WITH HIS OWN RIGHT HAND TO VON TOITY'S FACE!

Ventura: Now that didn't make ANY damn sense!

Reeling, von Toity is unable to defend himself as HvT unloads with a flurry of punches to his head and body. He screams like a wildman as he begins to turn von Toity into a bloody pulp.

Cole: After all he's been through, where is he getting this energy from?!

The crowd is going wild, chanting "H-V-T! H-V-T!" as the heroic version of von Toity shows great guts by beating on his evil and oppressive doppelganger. A flying clothesline punctuates the assault and sends von Toity to the mat, flat on his back. He's not moving! As the chants grow louder, HvT becomes even rowdier and begins swinging his arms like a madman. He leaps to the top turnbuckle and shines his bald head before taking off with a flying headbutt.

von Toity: Heh heh, cocky little punk!

At the last second, von Toity lifts his knees up into the air and drills HvT in the skull! He was only playing possum and now he's got the advantage!

Cole: That no good snake in the grass!

Ventura: Whoa, channeling your inner JR there Cole? Or did you just finish swallowing his special homemade "barbecue sauce"?

With HvT stunned, von Toity goes on the offensive for the first time. He lifts him up and nails a devastating piledriver, further damaging the head of HvT. On the ground writhing, he can barely cover up as von Toity uses well placed punches to beat his head into the ground. Von Toity is sitting on his chest and wailing on his face while the crowd boos mightily. Needing to escape this situation, HvT swings his fist in retaliation but ends up falling into von Toity's trap as he puts his arm into a submission hold that simultaneously pulls on the arm while squeezing his neck with his legs.

Ventura: We are too soon to forget that our beloved King von Toity is a master grappler! As fired up as HvT may be, he's no match for the superior brain of the great Hoity von Toity!

HvT manages to slip out of the hold, but is grabbed from behind and German suplexed into the mat before he can even make it to his feet. Endless boots rain down upon the defenseless HvT who is too stunned to defend himself. Eventually, HvT kips up to his feet and prepares to make another attempt on offense. Unfortunately, the growing wound on his head combined with the ass whuppin' he had received earlier causes him to stumble instead. And that's when von Toity leaps up in the air and plants both feet squarely into HvT's face! A perfect dropkick! A slow motion shot shows the boots actually embedded themselves into the flesh and bone upon impact. It sends HvT flying and he crashes on the floor outside the ring!

With the tables turned, von Toity begins posturing for the crowd. He flexes and circles the ring while garbage is being tossed at him. Unfortunately for the fans, spring-loaded ejector seats send all the offending fans flying 5000 feet to their doom.

HvT: Can't...let you treat the fans like that!

Weary, HvT collects himself and climbs back in the ring apron...where von Toity pokes him right in the eyes! Blinded, he is helpless as von Toity takes the top and middle ropes and wraps them around his head, forming a a sort of noose! He's strangling HvT to death with the very ring!

von Toity: Sorry chump, but there's no place in here for you!

Von Toity kicks HvT off the ring apron! With the ropes tied around his neck, he's dangling like a hangman gasping for air! His bloody wound begins to dry up as the carotid arteries are being constricted and keeping the blood from reaching his head. HvT struggles in vain, but he can't muster the power. After about a minute of writhing, he stops moving and hangs limp like a corpse.

Cole: NO! HE'S KILLED HIM! HVT IS DEAD!

Ventura: Hm, I don't think King von Toity will let him die that easy.

Sure enough, Von Toity pulls HvT free from the ropes and tosses his limp body into the ring. After flipping him on his back, von Toity ascends the top turnbuckle and waits. When perched there, he reaches into his singlet and slips on an elbow pad. He smacks his elbow in a sinister fashion, creating a faint metallic thump.

Cole: Dammit, that elbow pad is a deadly weapon! There must be a metal plate in there! Ref, do something!

Ventura: Uh, what part of no-DQ is confusing you, retard?

Recovering consciousness, HvT slowly opens his eyes. It's hard to see through his red, swollen and bloody eyes, but can faintly see a silhouette poised to attack up above. No sooner do his eyelids lift open ever so slightly that von Toity flies off of the turnbuckle!

von Toity: TURING TEST!

Cole: Whoa! Bitmask's old finisher! We haven't seen this since way back when FTUW wasn't about god-like monsters roaming the Earth and shaping the future of humanity!

Ventura: How far we've come.

The elbow connects squarely with HvT's heart and he spits out a massive amount of blood before his eyes roll back in his head. HvT is motionless yet again.

Ventura: He may have even stopped HvT's heart with that blow. It may never restart again!

But von Toity isn't taking any chances. He lifts the half-dead body of HvT off the ground and locks his arms from behind.

Cole: Oh my god! That position! IT'S THE FORTUNE 216!!! VON TOITY'S OWN FINISHER!

With a great display of strength and agility, von Toity backflips in the air while holding onto HvT's arms. They begin to plummet straight down to Earth with HvT's skull positioned to be shattered on the mat! Von Toity uses his feet to lock up HvT's legs as well so that the impact will destroy ever bone in his body.

von Toity: Ha ha ha! My Fortune 216 is invincible! You're a dead man HvT! I told you that you shouldn't have fucked with me! Say goodnight, peasant!

The crowd gasps in horror as the two warriors decend towards the ring below. Meekly, HvT opens his eyes and sees everyone in the crowd on their feet and slamming their chairs. It is then that his ears begin to pick up a certain sound again.

"H-v-T"

HvT: ...

"H-v-T"

HvT: Ungh...

"HVT! HVT! HVT! HVT! HVT!"

The crowd is deafening as the cheers resonate through the bodies of everyone in the arena! Men are murdered and their bones are fashioned into noise-makers just in order to gather more support for their wrestler! Women start ripping off their tops and slapping their unrealistically large tits together rhythmically in order to generate more noise!

HvT: O...

Cole: HvT is trying to say something!

HvT: O...

von Toity: Too late, imbeciles! He can't do anything about my Fortune 216! It's perfect!

HvT: O-OBJECTION!!!

von Toity: !!!!!!!!!!

Cole: Det. Callaghan's Inconsistency technique?!

The image of Callaghan can even be seen as he shouts in the detective's trademark snarling voice!

HvT: You claim your finisher is great, but...IT'S NEVER EVEN WORKED ON ANYONE! EVER! NOT IN ALL THE YEARS YOU'VE BEEN AROUND FTUW HAS IT EVER BEEN PERFORMED PROPERLY! YOUR FINISHER SUCKS!

von Toity: Fu...FUCK!!!

The shock causes von Toity to loosen his hold, which allow HvT to slip out! With both of them falling in mid-air, HvT tucks himself in a ball and begins spinning!

HvT: HOLY ROLLER!

HvT launches himself like a cannonball and drills von Toity in the back! The image of Reverend Sykes can be seen spinning in time with him!

von Toity: GRAAAARGH!

The Holy Roller drives von Toity in the mat! Bouncing like a superball, HvT lands on the top turnbuckle and no sooner does he land before he takes off in the air again!

HvT: DIVING ELBOW DROP!

The image of Macho Man is superimposed over HvT as he drives his elbow deep into von Toity's gut! He vomits up his lunch with which humorously shoots up in the air and lands back on his own face! Blinded by his own throw-up, he doesn't even notice that he's being lifted up in the air! HvT leaps upwards with von Toity before slamming him down into the mat with his elbow!

HvT: RUDYHAMMER!

Rudy's especially cool image appears over HvT as he performs one of his many trademarks. The crowd is going apeshit with excitement now! HvT starts running around the ring in circles clapping his hands and firing up the crowd more! Wounded and embarrassed, von Toity slowly gets to his feet and wipes the vomit off of his face.

von Toity: H-how...how dare you do that to m...

JADE SPEAR! JADE SPEAR! JADE SPEAR! HVT JUST USED GUAN FEI'S JADE SPEAR AND KNOCKED THE SHIT OUT OF VON TOITY!

Cole: Oh my god! That's impossible!!! How did HvT get so powerful and learn all those techniques?!

Ventura: Even my great mind has no clue!

Von Toity grabs a rope and climbs to his feet, only to fall down again from being so injured! On his ass and shaking with fear, he looks over at HvT and sees not only the man standing there in the ring with his arms crossed and chest puffed out, but the images of Jake Callaghan, Mach Man Randy Savage, Reverend Zeebo Sykes, Rudy and Guan Fei!!!

von Toity: N-NO!!!

HvT: Von Toity, you're a selfish piece of shit! Your partners were all employees who you didn't give a rat's ass about! All you're fighting for is yourself. That's why you're all alone in the ring! I, on the other hand, have my friends and all my fans who I'm fighting for! No matter how talented you are, you can't fight 100,000 people at once!

Now von Toity sees the images of each and every person in the arena floating right behind HvT!

von Toity: S-STAY AWAY!!!

Von Toity leaps to his feet and runs over to the edge of the ring where he reaches outside and grabs something. It's his taser-cane!

von Toity: I-I'll show you!

HvT: Give it up. You've lost!

von Toity: NO I HAVEN'T FUCKING LOST!!!

VON TOITY TAKES HIS CANE AND SNAPS IT IN HALF OVER HIS KNEE, SENDING 100,000 VOLTS OF ELECTRICITY FLOWING THROUGH HIS BODY!

von Toity: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

HvT: !!!

Crowd: !!!

Cole: !!!

Ventura: Uh, that wasn't too smart.

After the electricity subsides, von Toity stands there smoking and breathing heavily.

von Toity: F-fuck...f-fuck you! I don't care if it's 1, 10, 100,000 or TEN FUCKING MILLION! I'LL TAKE ALL YOU WITHERED CUNTS ON AND FUCK UP EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU! FTUW IS MY FUCKING LEAGUE AND NO ONE EMBARRASSES A VON TOITY LIKE THIS! DO YOU HEAR ME YOU ARROGANT LITTLE SHIT FUCK?!

HvT is completely stunned by this behavior, as is the crowd which has gone from being rabid HvT supporters to dead silent.

Cole: Wow, is it just me or is von Toity acting kinda...cool?

Ventura: HvT underestimated one thing. He may think he's more motivated to win because he worked hard all his life and he's felt like he's earned his victory. However, nothing can compare to the centuries of pride on the line for King von Toity. His lineage and birthright are more powerful than an arena full of goons and lowlifes!

Cole: Either way, both men took enough damage to kill most men. This will be over soon!

In the front row, two men are salivating as they watch both von Toitys stare each other down.

Fan #1: I'm so ridiculously happy to be here seeing this!

Fan #2: Yeah! It sucks we had to sell our wives to Lord Mammoth Cock to use as love slaves.

Fan #1: Yeah, they're probably dead already after being raped by his planet-like dick.

Fan #2: And that we had to sell our kids to that butcher.

Fan #1: Prepubescent human flesh fetches a high price from gourmets.

Fan #2: But at least this way we were able to afford front row seats to this extravaganza!

Fan #1: Seeing the end of this match will make it all worthwhile. I don't care if I die the worst death ever just so long as I can see this!

Fan #2: Amen, brother!

BUT SUDDENLY, THE HOLE IN THE GROUND CAUSED BY THE RUDY/FISTING FALCON MATCH BEGINS TO EXPAND! PIECES OF THE ARENA BEGIN CRUMBLING AND FALLING INSIDE THE CHASM THAT LEADS DIRECTLY TO HELL! BOTH OF THE FANS MENTIONED SCREAM IN HORROR AS THEIR ENTIRE ROW PLUMMETS INTO THE ABYSS BELOW!

Cole: Holy shit! The arena is falling apart!

Ventura: In hindsight, building this arena directly over Hell was not the smartest of architectural endeavors.

Cole: We've gotta get out of here before we all die!

Ventura: Tell that to everyone else.

Von Toity and HvT are still standing in the ring, both trying to muster the strength to take one step forward. They are both too exhausted to continue, but their spirits won't agree with their bodies! As for the crowd, not a single person wants to leave even if it means dying and damnation.

Ventura: One way or another...this is going to end very soon!

The final chapter...IS AT HAND!


Last edited by Spamdini on Thu Dec 25, 2008 9:54 am; edited 1 time in total
Vinny
[00:10] How can you get an erect dick into your own ass?
Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 5181
(Mon Dec 01, 2008 2:09 am)
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Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
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Vinny
[00:10] How can you get an erect dick into your own ass?
Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 5181
(Mon Dec 01, 2008 2:13 am)
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Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

Also, I'm a little late here, but Rudy A. Washington is a great character.
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My Head Hurts 90
Joined: 19 Jan 2007
Posts: 3445
(Mon Dec 01, 2008 3:59 am)
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Post     Re: ULTIMATE SURVIVOR SERIES!

INTENSE
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