Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Ryoko's Biatch]

The crowd of peasants outside of Castlevania watch in glee as the daily execution of heretics takes place. These men, despised by the masses, had either refused to take part in the celebratory baby raping in the wars in the East or were caught littering. They had their hands and feet sawed off with rusty blades and then lowered by a noose into a pit filled with mutated No Man's Land animals.

Today's offender was a prisoner from Jew York, Stanley Rosenfeld, a banker before the Death Race, who had surrendered without renouncing God and deifying Caligula. As Stanley's hands are sawed off he screams, "Caligula is the only God! Oh please, CALIGULA IS MY GOD!" The pleas do no good as the black hooded executioner secures the noose around Stanley's neck.

Before the heretic can be finished off, the doors to the balcony where imperial decrees were issued swung open and all looked up to the herald in awe. To his sides, stood men baring Caligula's standards, his image surrounded by a circle of blood and entrails. The herald unfurls a scroll made of human skin.

"I hereby announce the matches of the gladiatorial combat event titled Abhorrent Anathema: A Nightmarish Nocturne to Celebrate Exquisite Violence and Sexual Debauchery, as set by His Majesty, Emperor Caligula Claudius Tiberius Lightning, to take place on the 18th of March. In the inaugural match we will see Kanzaki Kenjiro, a Japanese, fight Harold Underwood, a former agent of the old United States. Secondly, the enigmatic mercenary commonly known as Deimos will engage Victor Powers the Younger, the magician called The Illusionist, in glorious battle. Thirdly, Nicolas and Alessandro Sparta, the twins discovered in Florida, will find himself pitted against the immensely powerful warrior titled Glorious Titan. Fourthly, Thrak, the human ape and possible missing link, and amateur grappler Doolittle will compete in blood sport. Fifthly, Rock and Roll musician Axelrod Waylyn will find himself in physical combat with the mysterious Lunar Plexus. Finally, the son of Chinese Emperor Guan Fei, Dwayne Guan, will defend the great dignitas of his family name against a war criminal of obscure birth in the guise of Corporal Body.

"Should a gladiator find himself surviving these initial rounds in victory, he shall qualify himself for the race for championship upon the backs of steeds bred from the loins of the extraterrestrial mount of the supreme hero of the previous age, Handsomus Rockstar Awesome. This champion shall be rewarded with the due fame of his position and the stay of a month in Branson of Nouveau Richonia, expenses compensated by the Glorious Emperor Lightning and generously offered by Baron Hoity von Toity of Richonia and King of Nouveau Richonia.

"This imperial decree will be distributed to the client kingdoms of the Empire. The Emperor gives thanks for your time and kindness in attending his event as it is mandatory and noncompliance will be punished to the fullest extent."

Stanley's body is lowered into the pit.

[Ryoko's Biatch]

Live, March 18th!

KANZAKI KENJIRO VS. SUPER AGENT HARRY UNDERWOOD.

DEIMOS VS. THE ILLUSIONIST.

NICK & AL SPARTA VS. GLORIOUS TITAN.

THRAK VS. DOOLITTLE.

AXELROD WAYLYN VS. LUNAR PLEXUS.

DWAYNE GUAN VS. CORPORAL BODY.

And the survivors will head to a CHARIOT RACE. The winner to receive an ALL EXPENSES PAID MONTH VACATION in BRANSON, NOUVEAU RICHONIA.

[Seru]

Oh.

I guess I should get to work!

In about two weeks.

[Vinny]

I changed the card. Again.

We used to write "card is tentative" all the time although we rarely changed anything. I'd like to request everyone to be PATIENT as we'll take one more week before the card is ABSOLUTELY FINALIZED. This is basically what it'll be, but one or two guys may be shuffled around.

[Magic Juan]

Wait, what changed???

[Seru]

You're facing me now.

Geh heh heh.

[Magic Juan]

I'm pretty sure I was always facing you.

[Vinny]

Nope, you were once facing Peter.

[Big Fagot]

I thought I hallucinated that!

[Mautty]

IM FUCKING READY YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH