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Black Snake Moan
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L Ron Butterfly
I take pop music pretty seriously.
Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 3537
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:02 am)
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Post     Black Snake Moan

Or [His] Black Snake [Made Me] Moan, if you're really that fucking dense.

This is without a doubt the best example of the (unsuccesful) commercialization of ironic culture I have ever seen.

I saw it with some of my most intelligent friends, and they ALL walked out looking confused and sort of like they had just been raped, and most of all, angry at me for having suggested they see the movie.

My friend Steve said it made him want to put a bullet in his head.

This is, honestly, the most racist, sexist movie I have ever seen, in the sense that subtle racism and sexism imply more of one's ideology than rampant NIGGER NIGGER SLUT WHORE tyrades.

Every black character in this movie is RUGGED, a farmer or a big, fat drug dealer. Or a preacher who says it's OK to kick your brother's ass if he has sex with your wife. Black relationships are ended over statements like, "dat leaky furnace kept me stayin' COLD in da long nights, Lazurus." Every white person sports the rebel flag somewhere on his/her person.

The overall message of female sexuality is that any girl who actually enjoys sex is suffering from a horribly debilitating disease that causes her to lose focus of reality and have sex without realizing it.

Samuel L Jackson's thirteen year old nephew loses his virginity to Christina Richi while she is chained up. Later on Christina Ricci marries Justin Timberlake, with the thirteen year old nephew as the best man! (It can only be assumed that Samuel L. Jackson arranged this out of wreckless hate for white people.)

Christina Ricci plays football with a bunch of guys while wearing nothing but panties and shoulder pads. In the middle of the game, she and one of the guys run over to the side of the field and have sex. He is then seen getting up and runinng back to rejoin the game, pulling his pants up with his the top of his ass crack showing.

Samuel L. Jackson MASTERFULLY quotes the bible to a chained up, half-naked Christina Ricci, as she attempts to caress him with her foot in what may be his greatest performance ever.

Christina Ricci, in one of the first scenes, is violently pounded from behind by big, fat, black drug dealer.

This is the greatest blaxploitation/sexploitation parody you'll ever see, and it made my panties very wet. Steve tried to find a genuine moral statement in the movie, and came very close to an anyeurism. I walked out of this movie commenting loudly, "I can't believe Justin Timberlake said the N-word. He's an American icon and should conduct himself better than that on camera."


Last edited by L Ron Butterfly on Mon Mar 05, 2007 11:39 am; edited 1 time in total
Ryoko's Biatch
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 9256
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 11:39 am)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

When I saw the commercials for this, I couldn't believe it actually got made.
L Ron Butterfly
I take pop music pretty seriously.
Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 3537
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 11:42 am)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

The first time Christina Ricci collapses to the ground in what at first appears to be a siezure of some sort and then progresses into orgasmic moaning, only for the scene to jerkily cut to her, apparently at first, getting raped by a gigantic black man, you really just want to get up and praise the Lord in a stereotypically Negroid fashion.
Stupid Fucking Faggot
Stupid 30 fuckbag who likes DBZ
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 7037
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 12:37 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

Wait, so thre's Christina Ricci nudity?
Username
Swimmin' in a Magnum
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 3106
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 1:46 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

Christina Ricci seems to disappear and reappear looking even hotter than before every few years.
Clotho
Clotho's rational faculties are not estimated to be at optimal capacity for a sapient specimen
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 1850
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 2:01 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

I couldn't imagine this movie would be good. It came off as a parody dirty south movie when I watched the previews.

So, what's the plot of the movie? What's the climax scene besides the climax scenes?
Jason
At ten I shaved my head and tried to be a monk, I thought the older women would like me if I did.
Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 7600
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 2:09 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

Id hit Christina Ricci pretty hard, I think.
Servbot
Overrated faggot
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 9020
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 2:14 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

I felt that way about her the first time I saw Adam's Family.
Ryoko's Biatch
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 9256
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 3:44 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

You'd have to be the biggest faggot in the world to not want to bone the shit out of Christina Ricci.

I'd hit it until I was unable to hit anything ever again.
Matthew Outland
The sum of all the arguments Theldorrin makes for not having children.
Joined: 30 Jan 2007
Posts: 2669
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 4:58 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

Then pretend morgan is her and fucking win already
My Head Hurts 90
Joined: 19 Jan 2007
Posts: 3445
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 5:11 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

Christina Ricci has a really odd face, but her tits carry a lot of weight.
Ryoko's Biatch
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 9256
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 5:26 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

You're damn right her tits carry a lot of weight.
Big Fagot
Alpha ape
Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 10545
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 5:54 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

Didn't you not like her until like a year ago?

But yeah, she's very hot.
Ryoko's Biatch
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 9256
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 6:02 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

Me? I've wanted to stick my dick in her as soon as I watched the Addams Family.
Rice
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 3474
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 7:58 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

dunna dun dun *clap clap*
Matthew Outland
The sum of all the arguments Theldorrin makes for not having children.
Joined: 30 Jan 2007
Posts: 2669
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:10 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

Im gonna go out on a troll/honest opinion here and say that Christi Ricci is not that hot.

Angelie Jolie and Michelle Pfeifer are hotter, despite the fact that neither are as hot as everyone says they are
Rice
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 3474
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:12 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

eww
Theldorrin
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 19724
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:12 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

Angelina Jolie is not very good looking.
Clotho
Clotho's rational faculties are not estimated to be at optimal capacity for a sapient specimen
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 1850
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:27 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

Theldorrin who do you think is a good looking actor. Not that I'm contrasting your deferment on Angelina, I don't think she's special either.

I think Christi Ricki has leveled up from wednesday Adams, but she should go back to black.
Theldorrin
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 19724
(Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:30 pm)
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Post     Re: Black Snake Moan

Are you talking about guys or girls?

Angelina Jolie has a very nice body, but her lips are disproportionate to her human-sized body.
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