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The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE
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Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Mon Apr 14, 2008 8:36 pm)
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Post     The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

THE ILLUSIONIST: PART THREE
THE ULTIMATE ILLUSION
Chapter 3: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE
---------------------------------

CAST OF CHARACTERS:
MAIN CHARACTERS:

The Illusionist: Imhotep, the revived Ancient Egyptian despot and greatest Magician of all time, has possessed the body of our clueless hero, Victor Powers, Jr. Ruler of Neo Egypt (formally Jew York City) with the new goal of extending his rule and spreading the 31st Dynasty across the world.

JAZZ FANTASTIC: JAZZ-powered former tag-team partner to the ILLUSIONIST, and the current BEBOP SHOGUN (see JAZZ FANTASTIC side story). The only survivor of TEAM ILLUSIONIST, has recently teamed up with Victor Powers, Sr. in attempt to take down Imhotep.


Other Characters:

Nefertitty: Queen of Neo Egypt who possess the body of The Hypnotits.

The 3 Godheads:
Personal attendants of Imhotep with animal heads and possessing great strengths
Horus: General of the Neo Egyptian army. Has the head of a falcon. Formally Mr. Sinistar.
Set: Spymaster and Royal Slavemaster. Has the head of a mythological unidentified animal head (with a curved snout and square ears). Formally Maxwell Powers.
Anubis: Imhotep's personal bodyguard. Has the head of a dog. Formally Kimchi.

Victor Powers, Sr: The legendary grifter has finally revealed himself. What does he know of this mysterious Project Imhotep?

Lex Dangerseeker: formally the Asymmetrical Man. Somehow, the dead wrestler and adventurer has returned from the grave for reasons nefarious and mostly unknown.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Summary of Part 3 (so far):

THE ILLUSIONIST brought his team all to Jew York City in search of a magical relic to perform the ULTIMATE ILLUSION. It is there, however, that the ILLUSIONIST, possessed by Imhotep, defeats the Sinistars and peforms the ULTIMATE ILLUSION: bringing himself and his love back to life after 4000 years. In doing so, he sacrifices the Sinistars, as well as Maxwell Powers, Kimchi, and Mr. Sinistar (and remade as the 3 Godheads). Only JAZZ FANTASTIC survives.

Imhotep, now in full control of Vic's body (and the first body in 4000 years capable of harnessing Imhotep's full power), takes control of Jew York City and remakes it as Neo Egypt and enslaving its 6 million inhabitants. He now plans to spread his influence out and conquer the ruins of America.

But JAZZ FANTASTIC, the Bebop Shogun, has teamed up with Victor Powers, Sr. to take down Imhotep. However, the third member of their team, the Asymmetrical Man, had been using them all along to get to Imhotep. What is Project Imhotep? Why is Lex Dangerseeker alive again? What is this container which he seeks?

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT THRILLING CHAPTER OF: THE ILLUSIONIST!
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Tue Apr 22, 2008 8:54 pm)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

"Ho ho ho," Imhotep, the Illusionist says, viewing the landscape from the central viewing window (which looks like a giant eye) of the Ra. "We control all this land, and all this land bows before Us."

Silent Anubis nods.

"And soon, We shall push Our armies outward, conquering the fractured remains of this once great nation---NEO EGYPT WILL REIGN FOR 1000 YEARS!"

"Master, all will bow to your will," Set says. "They will thank you for permitting them to live, their lives are worth nothing more than the dried earth of this land."

Anubis' ears raise suddenly.

"Yes, and from there, We will----"

BOOOM!!!!! THE RA SHAKES VIOLENTLY! SIRENS AND ALARMS BEGIN GOING OFF! THE RA BEGINS TO TILT AND LIST!

"My lord...." Horus points at something out the window. "We're under----"

BOOM!!! THE RA SHAKES FOR A SECOND TIME AND LURCHES DOWNWARD!!!!

Imhotep watches in horror as he's flung against the wall. Looking down at the window, he sees nothing but the blue sky.

Then ----- BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! And darkness.
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Wed Apr 23, 2008 10:09 am)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

There is smoke and the smell of ozone and darkness. Then a crack of light.

"..my...Lord." Set's voice is weak but near. The light is too bright but Imhotep can make out some shadows as his servants reach down and pull him out of the wreck.

Imhotep's eyes adjust. They are surrounded by the remains of the Ra, which had pulverized a hill into a shallow crater.

"You are hurt," Set says, pointing to a cut across the Illusionist's chest.

"As are you," Imhotep says.

"Just a flesh wound," Set says, smiling at the shredded remains of his left arm.

"Where is everyone else?"

"My Lord," Set says. His voice lowers and he turns towards the east, where Anubis and Horus are standing over ---

"Nefertitty!" Imhotep shouts. Or at least he thinks it is her. Her robes have been torn open revealing her breasts, which he recognizes, but he cannot see her head.

"She has been decapitated, my Lord. We cannot find her---head."

Imhotep feels dizzy and sick.

"What's going on?" Vic's sleepy voice suddenly fills Imhotep's head. "I was taking a nap---"

"Silence," Imhotep commands. Then to Horace-- "What happened?"

"Sir. The Ra was attacked."

"Yes, yes, you idiots. I know it was attacked. WHO attacked it, and HOW? And WHERE the hell are we?"

Anubis raises an arm and points at the wreckage. Imhotep turns and a sudden jolt of fear races through him.

"We have to get out of here. We have to get out of here right now!"

For the Ra, the giant golden Obelisk-shaped transport, had been power bombed. The top of the Ra---what could be considered its head---had been twisted around as if its neck had been broken. And the part that could be personified as the genital region looked like it had been kicked in.

"NOW!"

"But my Lord, Lady---"

"FORGET HER! FORGET HER IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!"
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
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(Wed Apr 23, 2008 10:33 am)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

Clouds rumble above.

"A storm is coming. We must seek shelter," Set says. His unidentifiable animal face turning pale from the loss of blood.

"We cannot stop now," Imhotep says. "We have to be certain we have gotten away."

They have been racing through the hills of what was once West Virginia, occasionally encountering packs of inbred mutants here and there who flee at the sight of the FTUW wrestlers.

"Lord, rest. The Godheads would willingly sacrifice our own lives for yours. You are tired and hurt---"

"They will not kill me," Imhotep says, stopping for a moment to catch his breath against a rock face. "If only they would kill me. They---yes, they need this body. Didn't you hear? I am the Vessel. Tut, tut, tut. 4,000 years. I have waited 4,000 years, my Godheads. They will not have it! No one has even begun to see what power I now wield. NO ONE CAN IMAGINE!"

"Fool...sssss....." a strange hiss speaks from above. At the edge of a cliff stands a large masked man wearing a cape. "You....ssssss......are a fool!"

The large man leaps and spins in the air, landing gracefully on the path before Imhotep and his bodyguards.

"Master....sssss.....will not be denied."

"Who are you, to speak in such way to FTUW World Heavyweight Champion, and all-powerful ruler of Neo-Egypt, the Kingdom of 1,000 Years? Horus says, as lightning streaks across the clouds.

"Abomination...ssssss....we are all!"

In the blink of an eye, Imhotep quickly spins, tears a piece of his robe off and drapes it over Set's crushed arm. He removes it, revealing the arm to be perfectly healed.

The Abomination is taken back by the sudden maneuver, but he tosses his cloak aside to reveal a massive muscular bulging body.

"Surrender the vessel....sssss....our master commands it."

"Ahhhh." The tattoo on Imhotep's chest begins to burn, and the Illusionist cries out in pain.

"Yes....sssss....our master commands it."

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" the shouts of dozens of unseen warriors raise into the air as the first raindrops begin to fall. Then the battle begins.
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Mon May 05, 2008 1:27 pm)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

Fists and bodies fly across the rain-swept hillside as dozens of black-robe clad warriors battle it out with the Godheads and Imhotep. The masked, muscular leader stands with arms folded, laughing as lighting flashes all around, every now and then hissing in a devious and cool way because he's a huge asshole.

Set tosses Horus into the air, and the falcon-faced Godhead spreads his arms.

"FALCON DIVE!" Horus shouts, clotheslining four thugs to the muddy, blood-soaked ground.

Anubis lifts up his head and howls. Then he rushes into a crowd of robbed warriors (they are all masked like the ninjas in Mortal Kombat, so only their eyes glow pale white). Two leap out of the way, but a third is caught in his teeth. Anubis spins around wildly, the thug's side still caught in the dog-maw of the Godhead, who suddenly bites down with five tons of pressure, splitting the warrior in half and sending both halves flying at such a speed that the upper torso knocks down two other thugs, while the abdomen and legs smacks another pair to the ground. Blood sprays out in a comedic fashion! BUCKETS OF BLOOD!

A group of about six thugs surrounds Set, who stands still, in a very calm posture, eyes closed. One thug lets out a shout and they all rush at Set, who still doesn't make a movement. The attackers leap in the air, arms and legs in punching and kicking motions when the Neo Egyptian spymaster suddenly vanishes into a puff of black smoke! THUD!! The attackers land their attacks----ON EACH OTHER!!!

Imhotep, meanwhile, has pulled two giant scimitars from behind his ears and has begun juggling them. He pulls out another two scimitars, then another two. Soon there are six scimitars juggling in the air around the Illusionist, creating a sword-shield! Despite juggling six large-bladed weapons, Imhotep begins to eat some random sandwich he's pulled out of thin air, all while rushing at several of the warriors, who try to back out of the way or get sliced up to bits!

Still, the giant masked muscular hissing man does nothing but hiss with his arms across his chest, watching his warriors fail to take down the Illusionist and his Godheads. At last, he unfolds his arms, lifts one arm into the air, and then punches straight down into the hillside-----

THE WHOLE FUCKING HILL EXPLODES AND CRUMBLES INTO A GIANT CRATER!!!! BODIES FLY RANDOMLY INTO THE AIR AROUND THE LARGE MAN. Imhotep lands against a mound of upturned earth, losing control of the six swords which land all around him, nearly skewering him. The last lands between his legs and dangerously close to his balls!

The Godheads and warriors are scattered among the debris, all which has been pulverized into a soft turf which is rapidly turning to mud in the downpour.

"Sssss....enough....sssss" the masked giant says. Then he gets into a fighting stance.
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Mon May 05, 2008 2:02 pm)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

The giant grabs several prone warriors and begins tossing them at the Godheads. Anubis gets on his hands and knees and leaps into the air, landing and leaping off the succession of flying bodies until he reaches the masked giant. The dog-faced Godhead opens his large mouth and attempts to clamp his jaws on the giant's neck----AND THE GIANT LETS HIM DO SO!

"OOOO-OOOWWWWWW!!" Anubis howls in pain as his teeth shatter around the huge bulging muscles of the giant's neck. His jaw breaks and a dozen places, and the Godhead lands on the ground, blood oozing from his mouth.

"Ha ha ha...sssssss," the giant flexes and the grabs Anubis by the scruff of his neck. "FETCH!" He tosses Anubis, who streaks through the air and plows head first into the neighboring hillside. Anubis does not rise.

"Quickly!" Horus shouts to Set, leaping in the air towards the unidentifiable-animal-headed general. "SHADOW FALCON STORM!"

Set grabs Horus and the two fly in the air, legs interlocked, spinning fists out in a whirlwind, right towards the giant! The spin so fast that their knuckles slice like knives. The giant tosses a few of the remaining warriors at the spinning Godheads, but it does little to slow them down, and the thugs are reduced to chunks of meat. Horus and Set land, and and then leap again in a second SHADOW FALCON STORM ATTACK. This time the giant casually takes a step back and punches once into the air, his massive fist connecting at the center of the whirling disk, hitting both Set and Horus right in their heads. The attacks falls apart as the two Godheads fly off in separate directions, both knocked out or potentially dead.

Imhotep gets to his feat.

"This is a big fella. I wonder if he's a strongman in a circus?"

"Victor...shhh."

The giant steps towards the Illusionist.

"Come with me....ssssss."

"You'll have to kill me," Imhotep says. "I will not give up this body."

"Ssssss....."

The giant rushes at Imhotep, who can't react in time---however luck would be on the Illusionist's side. The last surviving thug at that moment decides to stand up and stumble right into the path of the giant. Angrily, the giant grabs the thug and POWERBOMBS HIM INTO THE GROUND!!! Shockwaves from the attack lift Imhotep into the air, but now he is ready. He puffs up his cheeks and BLOWS OUT A GIANT FIREBALL which lands square in the giant's face---who is too caught up in breaking the thug's neck to defend. The mask bursts into flames and the giant rolls on the ground and back to his feet.

He tosses the burnt remains of mask to the ground, revealing a familiar face---

"Oh no. Oh dear the gods, no," Imhotep says.

It is the face of none-other than ACCIE CONNER! ATTACHED TO A SEVEN-FOOT MUSCLE-BOUND BODY!

"It can't be!"

"Yessssss....." AC Conner says. "Master has granted me a new body...sssss. Abomination! We are all....ssssssss."
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Tue May 06, 2008 12:57 am)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

Imhotep stumbles back and lands in a muddy puddle. Lightning crashes a nearby tree.

"Sssss.....surrender." AC Conner grins and hisses through his teeth, and in the darkness of the storm, his teeth seem to glow like white hot iron. "Master will not rest until he has....ssssss......the Vessel."

The Illusionist wipes the hot rain from his face. He coughs and a seventh scimitar falls into his hands. He presses the blade against his own chest.

"I'd rather die."

Suddenly a lasso wraps around the sword handle and lifts it away.

"We won't be having any of that," a familiar voice says. Lex Dangerseeker leaps to AC Conner's side. "Project IMHOTEP can't fail. Not after 4,000 years." Lex smirks and wrangles his lasso.

"Who are you? What do you know of Project IMHOTEP?" the Illusionist says, slowly standing up.

"Someone who flew too close to the sun. But I've been given a second chance. Our master has sent me to make sure that he hasn't wasted 4,000 years---4,000 years breading the perfect human Vessel. Our master cannot take a corporeal form on this plane. You know that perfectly well. To do so would destroy this universe across its entire temporal existence, and we know it will never happen, because this universe still exists."

"Is this guy a cowboy? He looks like a cowboy. Do you think he's from a Wild West Show or something?" Victor muses within Imhotep's mind.

"You are quite an amazing man," Lex continues. "Our master is so pleased that the project has been so successful. For you to have planned and directed 4,000 years, charting all those relationships and possibilities just so that this one point could be met! The Vessel! The perfect container for our master! Master knew it was almost time when this---abomination---was born. Almost perfect. But you---I can sense it. Master has given me great power---" Lex begins to glow a strange black aura. "A great power to help him get what is his. To kill you without destroying the vessel!"

"What's wrong with the cowboy? Is he on fire or something?"

Imhotep braces himself.

"Victor, we have only one chance," he says. "I need to do something that I haven't had to do before---I need to tap the full potential of your body. And I need your help. I thought I had already accomplished the greatest feat of magic of all time---but I guess that it was all feint. Now, Victor, now is the time for the prestige."
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Wed May 21, 2008 11:39 pm)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

4000 YEARS AGO

...

Egypt

...

A dying Imhotep stumbles in the rapidly darkening twilight towards the edge of the ever encroaching desert...

...

Blood drips down the side of his body where he had been stabbed. The blood of Nefirtitty still clinging to his robes, intermingling with his own blood. The sand blows from the desert, and the sky is deep red as if the horizon has bitten into the sky---red like the blood dripping and mixing with the sand as he stumbles on...

...

A sandstorm, once distant, rapidly moves in as the delirious Imhotep, the great engineer and Illusionist of the Pharaoh, begins to loose strength. Everything gets blurry. Everything gets distant. Like sand rushing into his ears. And the great sandstorm rises in front of him, driven as if alive---as if conscious. A shadow moves at the base of the sandstorm, which sounds less like winds and blowing clouds of desert than a deep low menacing laugh...

...

HO HO HO HO---the shadows begin to take shape as the world fades in and out. A human shape. An evil shape. The Nubian...

...

"It is time." The Nubian does not speak like a normal man. It is the desert speaking. It is the dead sands crying out in pain. "It is time for us to complete our deal..."

...

Imhotep falls to his knees. His breathing becomes heavy and labored. He is going to die. He knows he is going to die. But the Nubian---what he offers---what he desires---is far worse than death. But it isn't death...

....

"I am but your humble servant," Imhotep says. "I will do what you bid." There is no other choice. He understands this. He does not, cannot understand the Nubian, but he understands what he represents better than any man. He understands what he is giving up. But...

...

There is a way. A way to even trick the untrickable. To escape death was not Imhotep's greatest trick. The Greatest Trick of all time was to maintain his free will---to outsmart the impossible...

...

Imhotep's greatest trick of all time---a trick 4,000 years in the making---was to trick...

...

D'LO BROWN
Rice
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
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(Thu May 22, 2008 12:06 am)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

Haha, that's awesome.
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
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(Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:32 pm)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

"I can help? What prestige?" Vic says, confused and unsure.

"You were born into this body. You have had thirty years to grow with it. In the few months that I have possessed its control, I have barely grasped its potential, but---"

"I don't know what you're talking about? Potential?"

"Victor, you must have sensed something? No normal human body could do the things which you have done! Don't you know what you are?"

"THE ILLUSIONIST!"

"No. . .yes. You are. But do you not understand---why these men wish to take this body? Or, more so, why I have taken it from you?"

". . . take . . ."

A bright blue light shoots out as a beam from the aura surrounding Lex Dangerseeker. Imhotep quickly leaps out of the way, the beam misses but suddenly changes direction.

"I do not have the time to explain, Victor! My Master, the being who wishes to possess this body, taught me secrets that very few humans know. Countless ages ago, there existed a man who was so perfect and powerful that he was able to kill God---"

Lex cackles like an old crone as the beam zeroes in on Imhotep. The Illusionist quickly leaps into the air while extending his arms. Hundreds of doves seems to pour from his open palms and form a stairway which he climbs out of the reach of the beam---which passes through some of the doves. The birds fall to the ground as if lifeless, and those not killed by the fall are clearly not dead, but appear as if shocked.

"I believe you have met this man, Victor. My Master is beyond this world, you must understand. But a small fraction of a fraction of a percentage of his interest was piqued by this great human. But when humans returned to this planet, they were weak and fragile. My Master was---disappointed. But he knew that all humans had the potential to become like that original man. So he gave me a task."

"Task?"

"In return for immortality, I would devise and oversee an---experiment. A breeding experiment. You, Victor, are the result of that experiment. Have you ever wondered why, in recent times, such powerful men have appeared? They are the dead ends of the experiment. But you, Victor, are not the dead end."

"All I wanted to do was make some magic! I don't understand!"

AC Conner races around Imhotep's backside, attempting to flank him into one of Lex's beams. But Imhotep shifts his weight and slides under the muscular monster. The beam nearly wipes out AC Conner's soul!

"Victor, you must trust me. I need you---I need you to retake control of your body. I am not tuned to the Vessel---to you. But you are. I need you to take control of your body so that I can properly seal it. It is time for us to be realistic about this. No one can truly trick my Master without paying some price. Such Hubris!"

"What price?"

"For me---love, a kingdom, life. But if HE were to get control of your body, these things would matter little."

Vic tries to wrap his disembodied mind around everything.

"I don't know what this Vessel, your experiment, or what your master has to do with anything, but you are my friend. And I trust you. And if you say that I need to take control again---"

Imhotep lurches and stumbles onto his face in the mud. The rain picks up again, and as the Illusionist rises to his feet, there is something different about him. Gone is the pointed beard. Gone is the look of extreme confidence and intelligence from his eyes. It is Vic Powers, the ILLUSIONIST. He bends over, dips his finger into the mud, and smears a muddy mustache over his lips.
Spamdini
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1322
(Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:34 pm)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

Ace weaves an excellent story and I'm sorry to say it has taken me so long to read all this.

That being said, what's the deal with AC Conner? Obviously he's not D'lo Brown the supreme entity for the purposes of the FTUW world so who is he because I can't remember.
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:49 pm)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

I think he was an avatar or false representation of D'Lo or a part of the Cult of D'Lo, however we'd have to ask the official D'Lo Archivist (Peter) if he remembers or not. I will be retconning him into the story of Imhotep, and will try to explain further in the next few installments.

Also, I'm glad people are reading this. I have some crazy stuff planned out that.
Big Fagot
Alpha ape
Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 10544
(Tue Jun 24, 2008 3:14 pm)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

In the official mythology, D'Lo Brown is a pretty strong guy who can squat a lot of pounds but who will in the end prove insufficient to beat the character Ace Kendo roleplays as.
Big Fagot
Alpha ape
Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 10544
(Tue Jun 24, 2008 3:41 pm)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

But seriously folks, nothing that I know of says that the actual D'Lo Brown can definitely beat [Your wrestler here] so go nuts.
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Tue Jun 24, 2008 5:41 pm)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

**shoots cards from pee-hole**
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:27 pm)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

“Don’t forget me…hssssss…!” AC Conner appears as if from a blur and grapples the ILLUSIONIST. “Now MASTER shall have what is HIS!” He places him into a full sleeper hold. Vic is helpless!

“He he he,” Lex cackles, the rain evaporating in his bright blue aura. He walks slowly down the hillside and towards the trapped Victor Powers, Jr, looking like he’s fallen out of some Jojo chapte---belts, leather and all.

Victor! Victor, no!” Imhotep’s disembodied voice cries out in Vic’s head.

Lex Dangerseeker points his fingers out towards Vic. “Bang!” A beam of blue light shoots outward and directly at the struggling ILLUSIONIST. AC Conner clamps down his hold and shifts his weight, throwing Vic right into the path of the incoming attack!

Things seem to shift into slow motion as the spirit of Imhotep looks on in horror. The beam seeks its target. It’s over! All Imhotep has time to think is that it’s over.

. . .

There is a flash. A blinding flash, followed by a thump! A body lands, lifeless, into the mud and slides down the hillside.

“He he he, HE will be pleased,” Lex says, the blue aura fading as he following the sliding body. AC Conner hisses and watches the ILLUSIONIST---the Vessel---come to a stop in a ditch. The air smells of ozone and steam.

. . .Victor. . .” Imhotep’s spirit hovers in the air, helpless to do anything. “I am so---

Lex stops. He wipes the rain from his face and shakes his head in disbelief. “What---what is this?!”

The body of the ILLUSIONIST seems to sink into the mud---NO IT IS MUD! MUD DRESSED IN IMHOTEP’S GARB!

Two hands suddenly reach out from the earth beneath Lex’s legs and grasp at his ankles! A NAKED VIC EMERGES FROM THE MUD, THE FIRE OF MAGIC BURNING IN HIS EYES!

. . .VICTOR!

“AND FOR MY NEXT TRICK!” Vic shouts, leaping into the air and stomping Lex deep into the muddy hole he’s created. “I WILL NEED A VOLUNTEER FROM THE AUDIENCE!”

Vic fucking dropkicks AC Conner in the face, landing with his foot still pressed into the monster’s head.

“MY GOOD SIR, THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE! AS YOU CAN SEE, THERE IS NOTHING UP MY SLEEVES!”

Although Conner is surprised, he isn’t that hurt, and quickly recovers. Reaching out with a massive right hand he swats at the ILLUSIONIST’s foot---which is still resting on Conner’s head. As if possessed by the grace of a swan, Vic leaps into the air and out of the monster’s reach, his dick still dangling in the air.

“(AS YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE)!” Vic winks, though it is dark from the clouds and the rain and no one can actually see him wink. “BUT THERE IS SOMETHING BEHIND YOUR EAR!” The naked ILLUSIONIST lands and leaps again, this time darting through the air, passing within a hair’s breath of AC Conner’s head. Vic’s hand moves quick and he reaches out right at Conner’s right ear as he passes, the monster swinging and missing and the ILLUSIONST lands.

“I THINK THIS IS YOURS!” Vic opens his hand and a piece of flesh falls to the ground. AC Conner reaches up to his head, a look of horror grimaces his face as he feels the spot on his head where his right ear used to be.

The ILLUSIONIST smiles then kicks the ear towards AC Conner. “CATCH!”

Victor!” Imhotep gasps in amazement.


Last edited by Action Hank on Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:30 pm; edited 1 time in total
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
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(Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:28 pm)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

Pissed, AC Conner smacks the flying ear away. His swat is so powerful that the ear zooms into a neighboring hill a half-mile away and BURROWS A HOLE RIGHT THROUGH THE HILL and keeps flying!

“Hsssss…why…YOU!” AC Conner, veins popping out of the side of his massive neck, flexes his monstrous body. Waves of intense energy vibrate outward, causing the ground to buckle and depress. “I am going---”

“Yooouggh--- you aren’t going to do anything!” Lex shouts, at last lifting himself out of the mud. “HE wants this body intact!”

AC Conner seethes with anger. The high level of testosterone pumping from his massive and evil body messing with his judgment. The anger has become so intense, that even the desire of his Master could potentially be muted.

“Though,” Lex says, spitting mud and dirt from his mouth. “If this body is everything it is supposed to be, I am sure it can take a little---tenderizing.”

I need you to do something for me, so that I can seal the Vessel---your body,” Imhotep says.

“What do you need?” Vic says.
AC Conner grins. “Hssss….yes!” Then he reaches down, pulls a massive boulder from the ground and hurls it like it’s a baseball right at Vic!

You need---WATCH OUT VICTOR!”

Vic can’t dodge in time, the boulder hits him in the right shoulder, sending the naked magician flailing through the air. He skids across the muddy ground nearly a half-mile before coming to a stop.

VICTOR! VICTOR!” Imhotep cries out desperately, but the ILLUSIONIST does not respond.

The blue aura begins to reform around Lex as he and the Abomination, AC Conner, strut down the hillside. The rain begins to subside.

VICTOR!” Imhotep’s spirit rushes down at Vic, hoping to repossess our hero before Vic’s soul is eradicated!

Finally, Vic raises his left arm and pushes himself up. The last raindrops fall as he gets onto his knees. Lex and AC Conner reach the bottom of the hill, puddles of ash-filled mud, blood, and fallout around their feet.

Vic looks up at his attackers. His body coated in mud. His right shoulder bone has broken through his skin, smashed and shattered. He raises his left arm and wipes the mud from his face before redrawing the fake mustache.

“He isn’t that broken,” Lex says. “HE shouldn’t be too angry. Anyway, it is time.”

Lex Dangerseeker raises his hand into the shape of a gun and points it at Vic.

“BAN---”

Before he can shoot another shot of soul eradicating aura, there is a blur! Lex goes flying, his body contorted and grappled by---ANUBIS! The dog-headed godhead, grimaced, blood pouring down the side of his mouth between his shattered teeth as he squeezes with all his might! AC Conner leaps after them.

Now, Victor,” Imhotep cries. “I need you to----
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Fri Aug 22, 2008 11:53 am)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

I need you to weaken Alexander Dangerseeker. Knock him unconscious.

Victor nods. He starts to cough, and the end of a handkerchief drops from his mouth. With his good arm he pulls at it. Length after length of colorful handkerchief comes out before a black bundle falls to the ground. Vic smiles, holds his bad arm and kicks the bundle into the air. IT’S A FUCKING LYCRA TUXEDO! He leaps into the suit, and he is dressed in his uniform before a foot touches the ground. There is a bulge around the right shoulder, and this he pounds down with his left hand, popping the bone back into place.

Meanwhile, Anubis and Lex roll down into a valley, and splash into a ash-ridden river. AC Conner leaps to their side.

“Idiot!” Lex manages to shout at AC. “THE VESSEL! Don’t let him get away!”

AC Conner scratches his head and then looks back up the hill to see a fully dressed ILLUSIONIST casually strolling down towards them. He roars in anger and punches at the hill. Dirt, mud, and rock fly in the air, but Vic casually steps from flying clump to flying clump and lands softly by the river bed. He watches Anubis and Lex struggle, ignoring the angry abomination, who can’t believe what he just saw.

“Ssss….how did you….do that?” AC Conner says, then leaps at Vic, arms clasped together to pound the ILLUSIONIST into the dirt.

Vic steps to the side, avoiding the attack. Yet AC Conner’s fists never reach the ground. He is caught, midair by the ILLUSIONIST’s left hand, which is spread gently on AC Conner’s chest. Then the hand seems to go into the chest. Conner slumps to the ground, coughing wildly thick black globs of blood. There is a sizeable hole in the monster’s torso!

The ILLUSIONIST’s left hand is still raised---AND IN IT IS A TOP HAT! HE HAS PULLED A TOP HAT OUT OF AC CONNER’S CHEST!

“And for my next trick, I will make this man’s consciousness. . . DISAPPEAR!”

HOLY SHIT! VIC POINTS AT LEX, HIS EYES BURNING, HIS MUDDY MUSTACHE BRISTLING WITH MAGICAL INTENT!

Anubis and Lex roll around the river bed, Lex tries to elbow the Dog-faced Godhead as Anubis applies a picture-perfect sleeper hold. Vic walks right up to the struggling men and DROPS THE HAT RIGHT OVER LEX’S HEAD! IT JUST SWALLOWS HIS HEAD UP AND TIGHTENDS, CHOKING HIM FURTHER!

Unable to fight off the combined hat and sleeper hold attacks, Lex’s arms fall limply to his sides as he passes out.

Excellent, Victor,” Imhotep says. “Now it is time to seal this body. Even if we defeat these two warriors, HE has far more at his disposal. We need to end this while we can.

“Master---” Anubis says, catching his breath in painful gasps. “Master---but---”

It is alright, my old servant. This is for the best.

Lex’s body suddenly convulses, the top hat rolling to Vic's feat. Lex's eyes shoot open! Vic and Anubis leap back, prepared to fight.

“Tut, tut, tut,” Lex says. But it isn’t Lex. IT IS IMHOTEP! “This body will do well enough, for now.”
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Fri Aug 22, 2008 4:46 pm)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

“First, I need to concentrate. This body is very powerful, but not as powerful as yours, Victor.” Inhotep stands up. “It would be best if you two defeated that monster,” he casually mentions before leaping away.

AC Conner hisses slowly. He has stopped coughing up blood, and now something strange was happening to his body.

“Sssss…MASTER saw my potential…he gave me this body because of my potential…sssss.”

The thick muscles bulge, pop, and streams of pink muscle tissue ooze from the hole in his chest. Then Vic notices that there are no organs in the hole. Just muscle and bone. That’s all the body is! Muscle and bone!

AC Conner flexes and muscles seem to grow. They fill in the gaping hole in his chest and push outward, seemingly inflating as a large bag of muscle. AND THEN A STREAM OF MUSCLE AND SINEW POPS OUT FROM THE HOLE LIKE A MASSIVE ARM AND RACES TOWARDS VIC!

The ILLUSIONIST leaps out of the way, but the muscle tentacle follows him. Anubis leaps and raises his right arm, extending large claws. He tears down into the tentacle, but only manages to get them caught in the mass!

“SSsss…ha ha ha ha!” AC Conner falls onto his back, laughing, as the thick mass of muscle branches off. Now there are two muscle-arms. Vic leaps as one swats at him. He pulls a sword out from his sleeves and slashes down at the muscle mass, but two arms emerge from the wound.

AC Conner rises on his elbows and grunts. The muscle tentacle arm thing shoots our faster, knocking Anubis around while Vic furiously parries with his sword.

A lot of other crazy should would have potentially happened, but the ILLUSIONIST shoves his sword into the ground, leaps into the air, and pulls two massive cards out from behind his back. One is the Ace of Spades, the other is the Ace of Hearts. Vic runs along the muscular tentacle-thing and right up to AC Conner. With a flash, the two cards slice through AC Conner’s thick neck.

The monstrous body collapses to the ground as AC Conner’s head rolls over to Anubis’ feet. Imhotep’s bodyguard gives it a good punt, and the head soars through the air and falls among some rocks.
Vic bows and shoves the two cards into the mass of muscles now oozing and melting into a pink puddle.

“Thank you, thank you,” he says, and walks over towards Imhotep-Lex, who is busy meditating and getting in tune with his new body.

“Okay, let’s do this,” Vic says. “Took care of that guy.”

Imhotep-Lex opens his eyes and begins shaking it. But before he can speak---

“Ssssss…” the head of AC Conner begins to hiss loudly. Then it begins to laugh. Despite having no body, and no lungs and a several throat, he begins to speak loudly. “Ssss…MASTER. GRANT ME THE POWER TO DO YOUR BIDDING! I SHALL NOT FAIL YOU!”

The rain begins to fall heavier. Then it begins to hail golf-ball sized chunks of ice. Lightning and thunder rage through the valley.

“Quick. Victor, I will begin the seal. Stand still,” Imhotep says. He grunts and presses his hand against Vic’s forehead.

“GRANT ME POWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Lightning strikes right by AC Conner’s head, bouncing off rocks and into the hillside. “SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!”

“Concentrate, Victor,” Imhotep says. “This body is strong, but not as strong as yours. I need your cooperation. I need you tap into yourself, and harness the power to---”

There is a low rumble. It isn’t an earthquake. No. It is the sound of feet, marching. It is the sound of an army approaching!

Thousands of torch-lights appear at the tops of the surrounding hills. The RESURGENT CULT OF D’LO has assembled! The cries of a thousands blood-thirsty cultists ring through the air.

But something far more sinister is about to happen. AC Conner’s neck merges with the rock. Then the cultists begin racing down the hill towards our grossly outmatched heroes.
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Thu Aug 28, 2008 12:57 am)
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Post     Re: The Illusionist in: DIE ILLUSIONIST DIE

“Damn,” Imhotep-Lex says, looking frantically at the incoming cultists. He drops his hand from Vic’s forehead, where a red circle has formed, but then fades away.

Anubis growls. “I die happily serving my master,” the normally quiet Anubis says.

“I am not tuned into this body,” Imhotep says. “Even with our combined strength, I do not know if we can survive this. I know---”

He notices that the ILLUSIONST is oddly calm. And then a shiver of fear races down his back. What if Victor had---no, he thinks. That would be impossible. Victor was the final product of PROJECT IMHOTEP, the great 4000-year-long breeding program that had produced a perfect human body for the MASTER. But Victor was also a trick. A diversion. While the body was perfect, the mind controlling the body was feeble---incapable of unlocking the secrets that lay within it, and a mind that Imhotep could control and easily overwhelm.

Imhotep’s eyes widen. “Oh no,” he mumbles softly. “Have I been---MISDIRECTED?!” His mind races (at phenomenal speed) through the manipulations his followers were to have made. Generations upon generations, genetic lines crissed and crossed, then veer off to dead ends---often to the familiar faces of great leaders, heroes, villains, and even FTUW fighters. All manipulated by Imhotep from deep in the past. Such powerful beasts had not risen randomly, no. They were nothing less than bi-products of the great genetic experiment that humanity had become for the MASTER. To breed a body equal to that of the very human who had murdered God!

Then, the glorious final moment of the experiment. Two people standing at the edge of billions, producing a son whose body and soul possessed the same abilities of the strongest mortal who had ever walked the Earth. The only body capable of being a true AVATAR of the MASTER. His followers, the GYPSIES, had supplied the woman descended from Imhotep, himself. The man, Victor Powers Sr, held the blood warriors and kings, yet lived as a pauper. And Victor knew nothing of the PROJECT. . .leaving only---

Victor is walking casually up the hill and towards the incoming mob. Then he stops, raises his arms to the sky and as the rain fades to a light drizzle, thousands of white doves soar out from his sleeves. Tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands---pouring out and swooping around as one large living rope. And then he flicks his wrists and the rope wings, crashing into the incoming cultists.

“How---how did he. . .” Imhotep is beside himself. Vic should not be able to do this as naturally as he was.

Blood, feathers, body parts fly all over the place. Yet as each division of cultists gets knocked out, it seems like two more whole divisions take its place!

“No, he is not completely one with his body,” Imhotep says, as the ILLUSIONIST begins panting, laboring to continue his attack. “Still---”

JESSICA. What had JESSICA done? She was given a specific time for conception, when the correct sperm would enter the correct egg and the correct genetic mixture would be conceived.

Imhotep continued to ponder these questions as death seemed so close. But it would not take him yet, for suddenly fresh dark clouds rose in the sky. But they weren’t clouds. Beams of light shot from the grey sky, obliterating cultists, as two flying Obelisks---reinforcements from Neo Egypt---arrived. The ground shook further as a mobile pyramid made its way over a neighboring hill, and thousands of Neo-Egyptian troops clashed with the cultists. The ground ran red with the blood of many warriors.

But the chaos was only beginning.

Suddenly the whole world seemed to shake and twist, wretch and groan, as a massive rock lifted itself up. Both armies collapsed, were tossed and scattered across what had once been mountainous land, now flattened into a plain! The earth move like it was water.

THE ROCK HAD FORMED A MASSIVE HUNDRED-STORY COLOSSUS, ITS HEAD LOST IN THE CLOUDS!!!!!

“SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” Hissed the giant living rock. Its voice like thunder. It was AC Conner. “MASTER HAS GIVEN ME A NEW BODY! NOW YOU SHALL ALL PERISH BENEATH MY POWER!”

The Colossus extended its arms to the sky, then swatted the nearest obelisk with an impossible speed for a body its size, sending the machine crashing into the crater from which the monster had risen.

--------

“Cat, this is really bad,” JAZZ FANTASTIC says to Victor Powers, Sr, as they view the spectacle from what had rapidly become a not-so-safe distance. His joint falling from his lips. “I ain’t trippin’ am I?”

“Jessica,” Vic Sr. mumbles to himself. “You won’t die for nothing. We’ll stop these monsters. We’ll save the world.”
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