Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Vinny]

[Vinny]

"Hahhhh ... hahhhh ..." the Angry moans as he struggles to his feet, the boiling pitch rolling off of him as his the numerous black layers of stone-like, tarred skin protect him. As the pitch rolls off his skull, his FLAMING MOHAWK RE-IGNITES, possibly fueled by his intense RAGE.

Step. Step. Step. The Angry drags himself forward, swaying from side to side, his hot breath coming out like steam from under his welding mask. Kenjiro looks slightly confused at how this man continues to survive, but merely pulls down the bill of his cap and spits.

"Well well ..."

FTUW ~THE SECOND PHASE~
Sidestory: The Man Who Discovered Pro Wrestling

Chapter Seven: These Fists!

COAL-LIKE FISTS RUSH past Kenjiro's face as he dodges the wild and furious attacks of THE ANGRY. He counters with a vicious knee that causes the Angry to buckle over. Still not satisfied, the Angry tries to drop an AXE HANDLE on Kenjiro but KENJIRO blocks with his forearms. Crouching down, Kenjiro FLASH KICKS the MOTHERFUCKER in the CHIN, sending him airborne and knocking his WELDING MASK OFF.

CLANG! The Angry slams his face INTO the TANK. He lays motionless for a few seconds before YANKING HIS HEAD from the hole in the tank and lifting his head to the SKY to SCREAM. But nothing COMES OUT, even as his EYE BALLS FUCKING SIZZLE.

Kenjiro approaches the convulsing ANGRY, ready to finish him off, but the ANGRY SPITS PITCH FROM HIS MOUTH right at KENJIRO. Kenjiro BRINGS UP HIS ARMS and his COAT immediately BURSTS INTO FLAMES.

"GAAAAAAHAHAHA!" the FURY bends backwards until he's PARALLEL with the ground. Kenjiro whips his hands over his COAT, EXTINGUISHING THE FLAMES, before DASHING TOWARDS the ANGRY. He lashes out a quick series of blows, VICIOUS ELBOWS AND KNEES at his VITAL AREAS, that sends the Angry careening across the CYLINDRICAL TANK. It's not choking gasps that Kenjiro hears from the Angry's mouth but laughter.

"Can this thing not feel pain?" he says, a bead of sweat running down his cheek.

The Angry SLAMS HIS FISTS into it, PRODUCING MORE HOLES that ERUPT with PITCH FOR SOME REASON. Soon, Kenjiro is backed towards the rear of the tank, almost all of it covered in PITCH as the ANGRY sloshes through it, picking up the SPUTTERING PITCH HOSE.

"You're running low on fury ..." the ANGER STAGGERS OVER, his eyeballs RUNNING DOWN HIS CHEEKS AT THIS POINT. AS HE LETS LOOSE ANOTHER BLAST OF PITCH, KENJIRO DROPS DOWN TO HIS KNEES AND SLAMS HIS BANDAGED PALMS INTO THE METAL.

"EGAHAHAHAHA!" the ANGRY SCREAMS. As he finally reliquinshes the torrent of pitch, he watches it dribble down to reveal a METAL WALL in front of him. It was part of the TANKER, TORN UP SOMEHOW to be used a as a shield! "Huuuuh?" he mutters as he inspects it further, THEN A FUCKING METAL FIST BULGES UP FROM IT AND SLAMS INTO HIS FACE.

The Angry CRASHES ONTO THE TOP of the SEMI-TRUCK, which the Ultimate Warrior doesn't notice, but merely responds with cackling as he stands up. Soon, KENJIRO IS ON TOP OF HIM, the ANGRY SPREADING OUT HIS ARMS to CHALLENGE HIM. In response, Kanzaki Kenjiro unleashes a HUNDRED PUNCHES AT MACH SPEED.

KANZAKI SHIPPUKEN: ETERNAL LOOP

AFTER HAVING A SEIZURE FROM BEING ROCKED FROM THE BLOWS, THE ANGRY DROPS IN A HEAP ON THE GROUND ... but then CONTINUES HIS OBNOXIOUS LAUGHTER. He wasn't effected!

"None of your attacks can effect me! THERE'S NO RAGE IN YOUR FISTS!" he tells Kenjiro until he SUDDENLY FEELS A SHARP STING as his NOSE FALLS OFF.

"My attacks couldn't harm as your hard, dead skin acts as an armor and my blows couldn't penetrate that armor. So the only option I had left ... was to strip that armor ..." he says, EYES OBSCURED, as a few HUNKS OF BLACK FLESH are TORN OFF, revealing the BLOODY RED MEAT UNDERNEATH.

"AAAH! AAAH, IT HURTS! T-THIS C-CAN'T B-BE!" the FURY SHOUTS, MORE SHEETS OF HIS FLESH RIPPING THEMSELVES FROM HIS MUSCLES. Blood sprays from the wounds and he drops onto the pitch, IGNITING HIS ALREADY TENDER BODY AND BRINGING HIM INTO A NEW WORLD OF SUFFERING.

"But you were right, though," Kenjiro utters coldly, "My fists do not contain any anger. They only carry regret ..." And with that, THE FURY IS SKINNED ALIVE. IN ORDER TO END HIS SUFFERING, HE TAKES BAYONET ATTACHED TO THE PITCH HOSE AND DRIVE IT THROUGH THE ROOF OF HIS MOUTH AND INTO HIS BRAIN.

BACK NEAR THE ENTRANCE of BLOOD LAKE CITY, Prometheus Jones is beating goons with motorcycles. Tossing the wreckage away, he turns to another standard gigantic goon, this one's body covered entirely with arrows but he doesn't really seem to care. In front of him are six goons, ROWDY and READY TO KILL WITH THEIR SPEARS.

"GET 'EM! HE'S THE ASSHOLE WHO BEARHUGGED OUR BUDDIES!" one of them shouts. AS THEY CHARGE, A HEAD GRIPS AROUND ONE SOUL.

"EHHH! BROTHER RONALD?!" the goon cries as the GIGANTIC, ARROW-FILLED GOON LIFTS HIM UP, HIS MASSIVE PAW ENCLOSING MOST OF THE MAN'S BODY. Drool rolls from his HANGING JAW as he absent-mindledly scratches his HEAD.

"AH! RONALD! He's our friend! Don't you recognize David?!" another goon tells him, but THE GIANT IGNORES HIM, plucking David's spear from his hands and holding it carefully between his fingers.

"For ... Warrior ... Land ..." BROTHER RONALD mutters stupidly, SLOWLY PUSHING THE BLUNT SIDE OF THE SPEAR THROUGH THE TOP OF DAVID'S SKULL. THE GOON'S EYES BULGE OUT AS BLOOD SHOOTS FROM HIS ORIFICES, RONALD NOT STOPPING UNTIL THE SPEAR TIP REACHES THE SKULL, MAKING HIM INTO A HUMAN DART.

"R-RONALD!!" THE GOONS SHOUT. RONALD GRABS THE GOON AND HURLS IT AT PROMETHEUS JONES! SPRK! JONES TRIES TO STOP THE GOON BUT THE SPEAR BLADE MANAGES TO PIERCE HIS THICK CHEST. Jones YANKS HIM OUT, a bit of blood sputtering out, but RONALD IS ALREADY PICKING UP THE OTHER GOONS AND PREPARING THEM.

ZWOOOM! A SPEARED GOON CORPSE IS HURLED THROUGH THE AIR, PROMETHEUS JONES BARELY JUST DODGING HIM. The goon explodes into SLUSH on IMPACT, the force behind BROTHER RONALD'S TOSS IMMENSE. Another one is TOSSED and Jones DECIDES to PUNCH THE GOON, his body too slow to evade it, and INVERTS THE FUCKER FROM THE FORCE. As the GUTS SEPERATE, HE SEES THE LAST TWO RUSHING TOWARDS HIM AT THE SAME TIME!

"AGH!" JONES CRIES, THE TWO GOON SPEARS JAMMING INTO HIS PECTORALS. He stumbles forward, THE CORPSES JUTTING FROM HIS FLESH, as BROTHER RONALD CELEBRATES.

"HUH HUH HUH! GONNA GET YOU!" RONALD LAUGHS, RAISING A FIST. HE DROPS IT DOWN ON PROMETHEUS' FOREARMS AND SENDS HIM INTO THE GROUND, THE DIRT COMING UP TO HIS WAIST.

"This guy ... he's really strong ..." Jones thinks as he's driven further into the BLOOD-SOAKED DIRT, his muscles EXPANDING FURTHER TO FIGHT BACK. VEINS APPEAR ALL THE FUCK OVER JONES AS HE STRUGGLES NOT TO BE CRUSHED. "If I don't do something soon ... I'll ... I'll ..."

"Huh?" RONALD MUTTERS before his EYES WIDEN IN PAIN, "GYAAAAAAAAH!" HE WHIPS HIS HANDS BACK, TWO BLOODY HOLES IN HIS PALMS. PROMETHEUS JONES HOLDS TWO HANDFULS OF SKIN, HIS INSANELY STRONG GRIP ABLE TO TEAR OUT CHUNKS FROM THE GIANT'S HAND.

"Let's finish this!" JONES SMIRKS. WITH TEARS WELLING UP IN HIS EYES, RONALD SENDS A PUNCH AT JONES that he DODGES. CHARGING FORWARD, HE AVOIDS RAINING BLOWS before he SLIDES UNDERNEATH RONALD'S LEGS. As Ronald STANDS THERE CONFUSED, JONES REACHES OUT WITH HIS ARMS AND GRABS BROTHER RONALD'S ANKLES, DIGGING IN DEEP AND RIPPING OUT BOTH OF HIS FUCKING ACHILLES' TENDONS.

RONALD COLLAPSES TO HIS KNEES, SCREAMING, AS JONES CLIMBS UP HIS BACK. GETTING UP TO HIS SKULL, HE LEAPS FROM HIS HEAD AND COMES DOWN, WRAPPING HIS TITANTIC ARMS AROUND HIS NECK. STUNNER! STUNNER! BROTHER RONALD'S HEAD FUCKING SHOOTS OFF HIS BODY.

"Just a normal stunner ... but it worked," Prometheus Jones wipes the blood from his hands and turns to Blood Lake Tower.

[Big Fagot]

It occurs to me that the caliber of idea that I would build an entire story around is the sort of thing you use ten times per promo to hold us over in between the good stuff.

However, I hope I never hear the term "boiling pitch" again.

[Action Hank]

Vinny's stuff is very intense.

And as great as this is, (despite being about Kenjiro), I have a feeling that Vinny might be creating something too big for himself to handle---again---and it will never be finished and phase 2 will never officially start.

Can't we just start it up, and let Vinny continue as he is, or is everything he's working on vital to the setup of Phase 2?

These filler promos by the booking team have been awesome, but its time for the Androids to arrive!

[Yogurtman]

I believe the point is to introduce Prometheus Jones, who is important, and the titular Man Who Discovered Pro Wrestling.

Kenjiro is really kind of secondary!

I could be totally wrong about this, though.

[Action Hank]

Prometheus Jones is very fantastic.

Anyway, I have filled my bitching quota for a while.

[Vinny]

It's really only by Seru's impatience and TL's super-excitedness that we are even considering doing FTUW this early. The plan was mid-February, whenever the last board was to officially RUN OUT. So like the 16th or so. But it'll probably be earlier.

After this is done me and TL have a few minor things we gotta ORCHESTRATE. Since there won't actually be a PPV a month after we start, I'm thinking of doing some sort of event that brings all the wrestlers together.

[Vinny]

The all-out slaughter of BLOOD LAKE CITY is beginning to subside as Kanzaki Kenjiro and Prometheus Jones have turned the tides in the city's favor. However, the leader of the vicious gang WARRIOR LAND, the ULTIMATE WARRIOR, is determined to destroy the HEART of the CITY by crashing his SEMI-TRUCK into TOWN HALL.

"Elder! We have to move all the sick children!" Maria rushes through a crowd of concerned citizens who have taken shelter in the town hall. All around them is the sick children, being treated with the medicine Maria brought back from where the fuck ever. The Elder looks at her and shakes his head solemnly.

"Maria ... these children suffer from Super AIDs," the Elder says, "They are too weak to be moved."

"B-But Elder! A truck is coming straight for this tower! They'll be killed if we don't move them!"

"It doesn't matter," the Elder hangs his head, "That monster won't stop until he's finished all of these children off."

"T-The children?" Maria is stunned, "But why?!"

"He must have found out you had medicine that would cure Super AIDs, a disease that primarily targets homosexuals. In fact, these children are all refugees from Fagtown."

"B-But it's not their fault! They were born with it!" Maria cries, "They aren't gay!"

"The Ultimate Warrior doesn't care. Homosexuals are the bane of his existence, and it is that man's goal ... to wipe homosexuality out of existence!"

FTUW ~THE SECOND PHASE~
Sidestory: The Man Who Discovered Pro Wrestling

Chapter Eight: The Face of a Warrior

"IN MY FINAL MEETINGS WITH THE GODS FROM THE HEAVENS ABOVE, AS THEY SPOKE TO ME, THEY SAID 'USE THE POWER OF THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR TO DRIVE YOUR FUCKING TRUCK INTO THAT TOWER!'" the ULTIMATE WARRIOR SCREAMS as he gets EVEN CLOSER to the tower, driving towards it at 100 miles per hour. He pulls a hand from the steering wheel, his intense grip crumpling it, to reach over to grab a wounded jackal gnawing on his own guts, several cartoony bites taken out of its torso. Warrior LIFTS HIS MASK to reveal SHADOWS covering his face, his TEETH ONLY VISIBLE as he dangles the jackal above his own maw. However, as the warm guts begin to pool into his mouth, he senses something is wrong.

He TOSSES the JACKAL onto the passenger seat and looks around. He begins to GROW WARM at first, then his vision starts to lose focus. Suddenly, the WARMTH begins to turn into burning. HIS BREATHS BECOME STRAINED, his brain being slowly deprived of OXYGEN. Now his BLOOD FEELS like its a step away from BOILING. Trying to roll down the WINDOWS PROVES FUTILE, the handle won't even budge and it comes off in WARRIOR'S REDDENING HAND.

"WHAT THE ... QUEER FUCK IS THIS?!" he says, SLAMMING A FIST INTO THE WINDOW. His weakened STATE won't allow him to BREAK the BULLETPROOF GLASS. As he slips into unconsciousness, the WINDSHIELD BEGINS TO CRACK. Lying his head on the back of his seat, he NOTICES the CEILING OF HIS SEMI PULL TOWARDS HIM. With one swift move, he GRABS THE WARRIOR'S MACHETE AND JAMS IT THROUGH THE CEILING.

"Gah!" THE BLADE PIERCES THROUGH THE TOP OF THE SEMI, SLASHING OPEN KANZAKI KENJIRO'S CHEEKS. He pulls his hands from the TOP OF THE SEMI and ROLLS BACKWARDS onto the PITCH TANK. The MACHETE SAWS OPEN A HOLE IN THE SEMI and a HAND SLAPS INTO THE TOP. SLOWLY, FEATHERED HAIR AND A HOCKEY MASK SLOWLY PEAK UP FROM THE HOLE. GA GA GA GA GA. SUCKING AIR INTO HIS LUNGS, WARRIOR BURSTS FROM THE TOP AND LANDS ON TOP OF THE SEMI, REJUVENATED.

"A CHALLENGER!" the ULTIMATE WARRIOR CRIES, swinging his huge machete around.

"Shit ..." Kenjiro thinks, "My attack failed and now things are even more complicated." Kenjiro raises a finger and judges the distance between the semi-truck and the tower. "The speed is about 102 miles per hour ... so the semi-truck will crash in about one minute. Without him at the wheel, I could change the truck's course ... if I get past him!"

SNRRRRKKKKLLL! WARRIOR SUCKS AIR THROUGH HIS NOSTRILS. "THIS FREAK OF NATURE HAS ONLY BEGIN TO SWELL! And when I get big enough, BROTHER, there ain't gonna be ROOM for anyone else but me and ALL THE WARRI-YAHS ACROSS THE LAND ... FLOATIN' THROUGH THE VEIIINSS AND THE POWERRR OF THE WARRIORRR!" he RANTS, his skin turning NEARLY CRIMSON FROM THE EXERTION OF MANLINESS.

He explodes FORWARD, his TASSELS FLAPPING WILDLY IN THE WIND. Kenjiro DODGES the MACHETE SLASHES EXPERTLY until Warrior DRIVES A BOOT INTO HIS GUT. THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR SWINGS HIS BLADE DOWN ON KENJIRO'S HEAD, but KENJIRO CLASPS IT BETWEEN HIS PALMS. But not EXACTLY BETWEEN HIS PALMS, the blade hovers between them, VIBRATING as WARRIOR STRAINS TO KILL KENJIRO.

"WHAT THE-?!" WARRIOR UTTERS before the MACHETE is FLUNG through his HANDS and into the tank. The two EXCHANGE BLOWS for a few moments but WARRIOR'S OVERWHELMING STRENGTH starts to force KENJIRO TO THE EDGE of the SPEEDING TRUCK.

"ULTIMATE SPLAAASH!!" WARRIOR SCREAMS, ROCKING KENJIRO'S BODY. Blood spills from the white-clad warrior's mouth, his RIBS CRACKED from the POWERFUL BODY THRUST. Kenjiro rolls off the tanker but GRABS ONTO one of the MANY SPIKES WELDED ON, blood dripping generously from his bandaged hand. Warrior plods over to the corpse of THE ANGRY.

"ANOTHER ONE OF MY WARRIORS ... PERISHED," WARRIOR MUTTERS, HOLDING UP THE SKINLESS CORPSE by the BAYONET JUTTING from his SKULL. He tosses him off the side, STARTLING KENJIRO as it IMPALES on a spike right beside him. Warrior YANKS his machete from the tank and twirls it in his hand.

"Tch. I'm drained from using that ability too much," Kenjiro thinks, "With my lack of ki, I can barely hold on ..."

Walking over to KENJIRO, he RAISES HIS MACHETE and swings at his HAND. KENJIRO LETS GO to avoid the SLICE and FALLS TO THE GROUND, BOUNCING OFF THE ROAD as the SEMI-TRUCK SPEEDS AWAY.

"Hmph! What a queer," the Ultimate Warrior mutters as he begins to head back to the CAB. Then suddenly, the SEMI-TRUCK BEGINS TO SHAKE WILDLY as SQUEALING TIRES ring in his ears. Warriors SEES ROCKS and CLOUDS OF DUST BURST FROM THE FRONT WHEELS. He STAGGERS FORWARD, TRYING TO MAINTAIN HIS BALANCE, AND GAZES UPON MOTHERFUCKING PROMETHEUS JONES GRAPPLING WITH THE GIANT KNIFE STUCK TO THE FRONT, DESPERATELY TRYING TO SLOW THE TRUCK DOWN.

"FUCK!!" WARRIOR SCREAMS. A dozen or so yards away, KENJIRO LIES ON THE GROUND WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE.

"It's really fortunate you showed up," Kenjiro mutters, "It gives me a little longer to kill that asshole ..." In KENJIRO'S HAND is something dark and bloody, SOMETHING LONG AND FLESHLY. In a SECOND, it JERKS UP FROM THE GROUND AND GROWS TIGHT, LIKE A TAUT ROPE. KENJIRO, HOLDING ONTO IT, IS THEN DRAGGED ALONG THE GROUND BEHIND THE SPEEDING SEMI. THE FLESHY ROPE CONTINUES ALONG TOWARDS THE SEMI UNTIL IT IS REVEALED AS THE ANGRY'S INTESTINES! KENJIRO PULLS HIMSELF UP AS HE SKIDS ALONG THE DIRT ROAD AT 100 MILES PER HOUR.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!" WARRIOR SCREAMS AS HE HOLDS THE WARRIOR'S MACHETE LIKE A SPEAR. AS HE TRIES TO HURL IT FORWARD, THE ANGRY'S INTESTINE LASSOS AROUND HIS WRIST! THE WARRIOR JERKS HIS HEAD AROUND TO SEE A BLOODY AND BRUISED KENJIRO CHARGING FORWARD. Warrior COUNTERS WITH A BLINDINGLY FAST CLOTHESLINE but KENJIRO DUCKS, USING HIS ARM TO SLAM IT INTO WARRIOR'S FACE.

"THIS ... THIS IS ... !" WARRIOR THINKS as KENJIRO LAYS HIS HAND GENTLY ON WARRIOR'S MASK. In desperation, WARRIOR KICKS KENJIRO IN THE GUT THE SAME TIME HE IS ROCKETED BACKWARDS, FEELING LIKE HE WAS HIT IN THE FACE WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER. Kenjiro drops to a knee, holding his BLEEDING HAND as WARRIOR SPRAWLS OUT ON THE TANK.

"I meant to kill you with that attack, but it still seems you survived," Kenjiro mutters as he lights a cigarette, "But the way your brain got rocked, you won't be waking up for a long time." Kenjiro heads up over to the CAB when he hears a RASPY LAUGH.

"HAHAHAHA!" the ULTIMATE WARRIOR GLEEFULLY CHUCKLES. Kenjiro bolts his head around to see WARRIOR BENT OVER, his back to KENJIRO as he holds his face. "It's really been a long time since I HAD SUCH COMPETITION! Then you must really be KANZAKI KENJIRO!"

"My name ... then you really are-!" Kenjiro utters. Kenjiro can see the bloody shards of Warrior's mask drop to the ground.

"LIKE I SAID, I'M THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR!" HE SCREAMS, TURNING AROUND TO FACE KENJIRO, REVEALING HIS SKINLESS FACE, THE FRONT OF HIS BLEACHED SKULL PAINTED WITH HIS TRADITIONAL FACEPAINT. "WHAT, DON'T I LOOK LIKE HIM?!"

[Big Fagot]

There's no way it's the real ultimate warrior!

[Action Hank]

WHAT A TWIST!

[Vinny]

Well, it wasn't a twist as it was that I wanted to remind everyone that Warrior did get his face ripped off at Death Race 2007.

[Action Hank]

WHAT A TWIST!

[Action Hank]

I've gotta fever! And the only prescription is more FTUW!

[Vinny]

I'm too depressed to work on this and the only way to rectify the situation is for someone to PONY UP THOSE DEAD IN THE WATER PPVS.

Someone has to have them!

[Action Hank]

It is cached in google. If we can just pull it all out.

[Action Hank]

AND WE CAN!! FUCK! GOOGLE IS AWESOME!

[Action Hank]

!!!

[Action Hank]

Just type in the full name of every ppv into google, then hit the cache, and you'll get the whole thing!

[Vinny]

I tried that. The PPVs we need (the later ones) don't really show up.

[Action Hank]

Well, that's at least a way of saving up to Clusterfuck. There's gotta be a way to get the rest.