Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Vinny]

A hulking ball of meat with leather wrapped around his diminutive cranium, his white orbs peering out through the tiny slits, inserts a hook through the upper lip of some poor soul and hangs him from a pole. Each of his limbs are carefully chained to four half-breed space stallions.

An executioner approaches the stage and unfurls a scroll.

"James Callahan, you have been accused of not praying in the direction of His Majesty, Emperor Lightning, during the sunset of April 15th. How do you plead?"

"Ahh, this is a mistake! I didn't know he had left Castlevania! It was just a simple mistake!"

"Guilty. You are hereby sentenced to death," the executioner says, raising a hand. The space stallions are struck with whips, causing them to bolt forward. The chains grow taut and soon the arms are liberated from his torso, sending arcs of blood spraying into the air. Another executioner steps onto the stage and the two executioners play tetherball with the torso until he ceases breathing.

The front gates of Castlevania open and a herald, with numerous of Caligula's sentries, approaches the execution stage. He unfurls a message and begins to speak.

"I hereby announce the matches of the gladitorial combat event titled Elegy of Extinction: A Dolorous Dirge of Repulsive Raping and a Terrifying Tessitura of Murderous Mayhem, One Night Only to Celebrate the Last Night on Earth, as set by His Majesty, Emperor Caligula Claudius Tiberius Lightning, to take place on the 6th of May in the Emperor's very own home, Castlevania.

"In the inaugural match we will see skinless, blind monstrosity Corporal Body, battle student of grapplology, Doolittle. Secondly, expert martial artist and astronaut Ren Alexander, the Japanese Kenjiro Kanzaki, and the time stranded gladiator Glorious Titan. Thirdly, prehistoric pugilist Thrak shall engage in a fatal struggle with malevolent musician Axelrod Waylyn. Fourthly, the team of Church & State, composed of the Reverend Zeebo Sykes and patriot Uncle Slam, shall duel the gifted brothers Nicolas and Alessandro Sparta in battle of Science vs. Religion. The final event will be a contest for the newly christened Holy Lightning Empire Championship featuring the top four ranked combatants in the Emperor's Bloodsport league. They are the mercenary Deimos, the bearslayer Harry Underwood, the illusionist The Illusionist, and the immortal Lunar Plexus. These four will murder one another for the title in a Last House on the Left match.

"This imperial decree will be distributed to the client kingdoms of the Empire. The Emperor gives thanks for your time and kindness in attending his event as it is mandatory and noncompliance will be punished to the fullest extent."

One executioner spikes the torso so hard the hook embedded in its lip tears its face off and the corpse is sent careening through the air until it crashes into the deceased's family. The two executioners then high-five.

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Live, May 6th!

LUNAR PLEXUS vs. HARRY UNDERWOOD vs. DEIMOS vs. THE ILLUSIONIST for the HOLY LIGHTNING EMPIRE CHAMPION in a LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT MATCH

CHURCH & STATE vs. SPARTA

THRAK vs. AXELROD WAYLYN

REN ALEXANDER vs. KENJIRO KANZAKI vs. GLORIOUS TITAN

DOOLITTLE vs. CORPORAL BODY