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(#22) The spy who fucked my eye socket.

 
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Mautty
I bet my wife supports a bigger deadbeat jackass liar than yours.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 3224
(Sat Mar 31, 2007 3:32 pm)
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Post     (#22) The spy who fucked my eye socket.

Subject: Harold Hector Underwood

Our men were able to track down Underwood and have had contact with him for the last 96 hours. From the report they gave me he took down some genetically or magically enhanced Bears. Three of them to be exact and all with out much effort, they also report that the bear blood he had contact with is changing him. During his match at Caligula’s arena when it looked like he was gong to lose He changed into a Bear and beat his adversary. His opponent was no push over it seems the Japanese man he faced had special powers and killed the son of the great Guan Fei. During the chariot race he changed again but was taken down by the one Called Lunar Plexus.

Then agents also report that after the Race Harry who should have died with out nano healers was 100% when they went back to administer the Healers. He suffered tremendous injuries but is healing on his own at a fast rate. Even with the changes made to his body during Project Kratos his body should not have healed it self this fast with out our aid.

Caligula seems to want and recreate The FTUW I think it would be a good Idea for Harry to fight in this League. Harry gets better with the more combat he sees, the past 4 years he has seen more combat than in his previous 12. He has gotten stronger, faster, smarter, and more dangerous. With his new powers he may rival even Caligula’s might. Hell I could see him being able to hold his own with Theldorrin or even Hansomus.

Harry Underwood was perfect now he is a monster god help is all. Contact me if you have any special instructions.

END TRASMISSION
Magic Juan
Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 8709
(Sat Mar 31, 2007 3:39 pm)
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Post     Re: The spy who fucked my eye socket.

The title of this thread is singlehandedly fucking awesome.
Mautty
I bet my wife supports a bigger deadbeat jackass liar than yours.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 3224
(Sat Mar 31, 2007 3:52 pm)
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Post     Re: The spy who fucked my eye socket.

It was between that or Tomarrow never dies unless you rip out its beating heart.
Mautty
I bet my wife supports a bigger deadbeat jackass liar than yours.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 3224
(Sat Mar 31, 2007 9:03 pm)
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Post     Re: The spy who fucked my eye socket.

Blood every ware the metallic smell and taste in your mouth lingers like the taste of a woman after eating her snatch. They said murder was a hell hole you have no fucking idea. Its said that the psychos filled Carlsbad caverns with dead bodies of babies they killed on Kill a baby Tuesdays at TGIFridays. Tgifridays used to be a family restaurant.
The town is called hogwash home to the murders biggest gang The Murder killers. Gangs rule this once great country Murders gangs are the worst.

“This place is like a Stephen king nightmare fucked a Wes Craven movie and gave birth to one fucking scary baby” Agent mike said

“Why are such a god damn pussy what a few thousand dead bodies made to look like the leaning tower of pisa scare you baby mikey” Agent Rick said

“No I think it was the Effile tower of torsos that did you fucking cock face” Agent mike said

“Will you two shut the fuck up or do I have to slap you around” said Underwood

“Sorry boss but tell me again what the fuck are doing in the worst part of The empire I mean Caligula gets his best men from murder his men are no pansy ass fags like mike over here” Said Agent Rick

“Fuck you I am no pussy this place just rubs me the wrong fucking way. I mean I half expect The Hatchet to jump out of that body and rape out ears or something” Agent mike said

Just ass he Mike finishes his sentence something burst from out of a body. Large with red hair covered in tattoos Carrying Two hatchets Made of Bone. Just as he burst out Harry takes out his .50 cal and blows its fucking head off. But out of another body It bursts out and throws one of the hatches at Harry’s head! Harry bats it away with his gun runs up to the man and rips his fucking spine out turns and impales him as he burst out of another body beside him!

“Im just going to shut the fuck up from now on” Agent mike said

“Hey faggots you killed my god damn Jack clone I paid good fucking money for that clone he built all this kick ass stuff you see here.” A hulk of a man wearing a ninja turtles costume holding a bag of heads yells at them.

“Time to do what we do best in murder that right boys, My names Bill Fuksurmother I rule this country as leader of the MURDER KILLERS. I also fucking just love the ninja turtles”

Hundred of men surround them with crude weapons all dressed like 90’s cartoon heroes.
Spamdini
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1322
(Sun Apr 01, 2007 9:17 pm)
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Post     Re: The spy who fucked my eye socket.

90's cartoon hero army!! Oh no!
Action Hank
Yes, I fart dicks. Dicks actually come out of my anus when I fart.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 8600
(Mon Apr 02, 2007 9:10 am)
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Post     Re: The spy who fucked my eye socket.

I also fucking just love the ninja turtles
Mautty
I bet my wife supports a bigger deadbeat jackass liar than yours.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 3224
(Wed Apr 04, 2007 7:06 pm)
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Post     Re: The spy who fucked my eye socket.

“I am the terror that flaps in that nigh, I am the condom that covers the cock of injustice, I AM DARKWING DUCK” A large fat man with duck bill glued to his face wearing a homemade purple darkwing duck outfit emerges from the shadows.

“Let’s get Dangerous!” Darkwing duckman says.

Harry looks at the man raises his Gun and shoots him in the god damn face. His head explodes sending brain matter and chunks of skull all over the other members of the Murder Killers.

“GET THEM YOU FUCKS” Bill Screams.

With that the Killers start to attack! Harry wasting no time grabs Liono from thunder cats and some black guy dressed as the Tick and starts twisting them like balloon animal balloons. He breaks there legs in several places and ties them to each other he then rips off both there arms and molds the bodies till they look like a crude HUMAN NUNCHAKU.

“DIE YOU FUCKING CRAZY FUCKS” Agent Rick screams as he mows down several Killers.

When out of Know ware Captain Planet Jumps on Agent Rick causing him to drop his AK47. He Gets Agent Rick in a sleeper hold trying to knock him out. Rick Struggles but he can’t break the hold he is losing consciousness.

“You wont wake up from this litter bug you can’t pollute the planet any more with your toxic waste” says Captain Planet.

Just as Agent Rick is about to go to sleep, Agent mike having just broke the neck of a midget shazaam, looks up and runs towards Agent Rick. Mike grabs Captain Planet and turns him around shoves a sign post Into His belly.

“uhhhhgggreggllege…..the power is yours” Captain Planet says before he dies.

Mean while Harry has been taking out killers left and right with his Human Nunchaku. With each Mighty swing more Killers are thrown into walls and into other Killers. With the skill and grace of Bruce Fucking Lee he takes out 20 Killers in the matter of seconds!

“This is not going good they have killed my best men. TIME FOR MY SECRET WEAPON!” Bill Fukurmother gets out a horn and blows a signal to his secret weapon.

The sound of the horn stops the Killers dead in their tracks. They all look up towards their master and run. Looking around confused Agent Mike, Agent Rick, and Super Agent Harry Underwood hear a rumble. The ground starts to shake power lines start to fall over. All of a sudden a huge monster crashes through a building. Its 20 feet high and pink, it’s a giant FRANKENBERRY. On his shoulders is a Giant white Bunny with sharp claws and a big red nose THE TRIX RABBIT. On his other shoulder A Buff fucking Midget dressed in green LUCY THE LEPRECHAUN. All three make up The killers Most dangerous Trio. THE CEREAL KLLERS! A part of this complete breakfast.
My Head Hurts 90
Joined: 19 Jan 2007
Posts: 3445
(Wed Apr 04, 2007 7:09 pm)
Reply

Post     Re: The spy who fucked my eye socket.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Magic Juan
Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 8709
(Wed Apr 04, 2007 7:34 pm)
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Post     Re: The spy who fucked my eye socket.

*human entrails on computer chair*
Mautty
I bet my wife supports a bigger deadbeat jackass liar than yours.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 3224
(Fri Apr 06, 2007 6:36 pm)
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Post     Re: The spy who fucked my eye socket.

When you ran down stairs on Saturday morning to enjoy the smurfs and eat cereal you did not think the happy characters on the box would one day rack up a body count bigger than the whole Vietnam war. Byondine labs were to blame.

Before the end of America, Byondine Labs used to make genetically enhance animals and people, the same labs responsible for Harry’s own abilities. They made him smarter, faster, stronger, and able to survive three times as long with out food. He has the grace and agility of a Russian gymnast. His sight, smell, and hearing have been elevated. He can see in the dark and for miles, he can smell blood up to ten miles away and can hear better than a dog. Before he was the Perfect solider now thanks to Byodine labs He is the perfect weapon. What other freaks had the labs created? What else is out there? Is Harry the only Kratos project guinea pig running around fucking up bears?

“Holy tree humping Christ IT’S A HUGE GOD DAMN FRANKENBERRY” Exclaims Agent Mike.

“Looky here Lucy We got our selves a real fucking genius! Ill take that dip shit you take the other. FB here will take the big guy holding the Tick and that fag from ThunderCats.” The Trix Rabbit tells the leprechaun

“Sounds like a plan laddie Ill give that pancy a taste of me shillelagh”. Said lucky

“Crush Man hahahahahah me want to crush man me want crush man me want crush man YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.” The pink behemoth screams

“BRING IT ON PINKY” Harry screams and rips of his shirt.

Harry Runs at Frankenberry with blinding speed jumps and delivers a flying double axe handle to the monsters head. But it did not faze the pink bastard. Still in the air Franken berry swats Harry sending him flying into a statue of Capt. Crunch that looked like it was made of human hands.

“Ok that did not work this is going to be harder than I thought” Harry says to himself

Mean while the trix rabbit is beating the holy hell out of Agent mike! Like a white blur he is running around Agent mike kicking and punching him. Keeping mike on his feet with each hit no letting him fall from the attacks! The rabbit stops in front of Mike and BUNNY KICKS HIM IN THE GOD DAMN FACE ROCKETING HIM THROUGH A WALL OF DEAD BLACK RETARDS.

“This is going to be easy as pie” The Evil Rabbit exclaims

Mike crawls put of the rubble of retards and stands up. Just as he reaches his feet a red balloon shaped marshmallow the size of a football hits him in the face. The marshmallow was hard as a rock. Lucky who came out of know ware starts laugh.

“They are always after me lucky charms” The leprechaun says then laughs.

As the leprechaun is laughing agent Rick drop kicks the little fucker in the back of the head! Lucky looks behind him unhurt and rubs the back of his head.

“Ye have to do better than that lad now Ill have to tear your fucking hide with me shillelagh.” The Evil little fucker says

Like a green short ninja Lucky leaps in the air and spins with his shillelagh extended out. Just as the crazy green top is about to his Rick, he dodges the attack grabs the Little green fuck and tosses him into the Trix rabbit knocking him down.

Pissed Lucky gets to his feet Jumps on Agent Rick and starts to head butt him. Over and over Lucky slams his head in to Agent Rick. Blood splattering like tiny explosions. Rick falls back with Lucky still clinging to him. Lucky stand on his chest and with magic summons his shillelagh and raises it over his head about to end Rick’s life.

“It’s been fun boyo but time to send you to St. Peter” Lucky says

But as he is about to kill Agent Rick the Leprechaun’s head explodes! Brain and skull rain all over agent Rick and the body still with his arms in the air falls over. When agent Rick kicked him earlier he has really put a small timed plastic explosive on his head. Rick gets up dusts him self off and picks up the Shillelagh his trophy for the day.

Agent Mike is not so lucky; he has not been able to even hit the god damn rabbit. With two guns drawn he has been trying to shoot the fucking furry bastard but has had no such luck. It’s just too fast. Realizing he can’t fight him in the open Mike runs into an old warehouse. The rabbit runs in after him.

“Come out come out ware ever you are dip shit” the rabbit calls

The rabbit looks around for any sign of Agent Mike. Probing the warehouse with his long rabbit ears searching for any noise that might give away agent mikes position, but mike is to well trained for that. The rabbit moving closer and closer trips on a trip wire that mike placed and grenade goes off blowing the rabbits left leg off. Agent Mike walks up to the Rabbit points his gun to his face and kicks him on the side.

“Silly rabbit kicks are for ribs” Agent mike mocks the rabbit and kicks him some more

“FUCK YOU MOTHER……” Before he finished his words Mike blew his face off.

NEXT TIME HARRY AND FRANKENBERRY FACE OFF.
Ryoko's Biatch
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 9255
(Fri Apr 06, 2007 7:44 pm)
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Post     Re: The spy who fucked my eye socket.

You really nailed the end.
Mautty
I bet my wife supports a bigger deadbeat jackass liar than yours.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 3224
(Fri Apr 06, 2007 7:52 pm)
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Post     Re: The spy who fucked my eye socket.

Thank you I try.
Mautty
I bet my wife supports a bigger deadbeat jackass liar than yours.
Joined: 20 Jan 2007
Posts: 3224
(Thu Apr 12, 2007 6:41 pm)
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Post     Re: The spy who fucked my eye socket.

The sound of fists hitting flesh could be herd for miles. The Pink Monster is proving to be more than just a mild annoyance. With every punch and kick that Harry dishes out Frankenberry takes it and gives it right back, Titanic punches exchanged in mid air cause glass to break and emits a sound not unlike a thunder strike.

“That HURT” the pink titan screams

All of a sudden a pink electric field surrounds Frankenberry. Bolts of electricity stricking all around his huge 20 foot frame. The Pink fucker extends his arms forward and blasts Harry with a fuck load of Pink Lightning!

Like the old cartoons Harrys hair is standing straight up and you can see his skeleton as billions of volts are slammed into him. But ass Harry starts to cook a change starts to happen. Like the scene in Van Helsing ware he turns into the wolf man or whatever Harry starts Changing into his Bear form. Frankenberry has just brought upon himself his own destruction.

“GROOOOOOOOOWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL” Bear Harry growls a wicked ass bear growl.

Claws burst through his hands and Blond fur starts sprouting all over Harry. Harry has grown over 14 feet with massive razor sharp claws and huge bear arms. Yellow power crackles around Harry. Stunned Frankenberry stops shocking and stares not knowing what the fuck just happened.

“You bear now pretty yellow bear with big mean teeth.” Frankenberry says

Then Harry was gone disappeared right in front of the pink monster. But before he can start to look for him he is sent crashing into building made of dead Filipino old men that had Down syndrome and cancer. Frankenberry tries to stand up but is sent flying in air; he looks around at the Desert landscape full of dead bodies but before he can enjoy it he feels something slam into his back and is sent flying back towards earth.

The crater he leaves is massive! The tremor from the impact has knocked down many buildings, Crazy body part buildings with shit for mortar. Frankenberry rolls over and looks on top of the crater walking on all fours is Harry. His green eyes glowing bearing his teeth.

Harry leaps in the air and lands on Frankenberry. Frankenberry with fast reflexes grabs Harry’s arms and they start to wrestle. Rolling around each trying to gain the upper hand, submission move after submission move is countered. Finally Harry gets the upper hand and gets the monster in a camel clutch.

“Are you going to tap out you pink cock sucker or do I have to fold you in half.” Said Harry

But Frankenberry gets a hand free grabs Harry and slams him into the ground with a impressive show of powa. Getting up to finish the job Harry is gone again. Then a sound of fifty Harrys roars from all around the crater. Harry used the Multibear-jitsu! With synchronized paw sighs the Harrys unleash a massive Bearblaze-Jitsu into the crater. The fire consumes Frankenberry but its not destroying him. Something else is happening to him he is growing into a blob of marshmallow! Within in seconds he is 10x his size a huge pink blob that smells awesome. Reminds Harry of camping when he was little boy roasting marshmallows on a open fire.

“Harry fuck this shit lets get the fuck out of here” Agent Rick screams from atop of some rubble

“NO I MUST FINISH THIS” harry screams.

Harry opens his bear mouth and and sucks in creating a bear like vortex from his mouth. Frankenberry blob starts moving towards Harry and flys into his mouth. After about ten minutes Harry is done he ate all of The Marshmallow blob. Harry the turns around twice and take the biggest Pinkest shit that have ever been shit!

“Man I’m not eating marshmallows or fucking cereal ever again” Says agent mike

They all laugh. With out warning Bill Fukurmother jumps out with his bo staff and hits harry over the head breaking the staff. Harry still a bear turns around and roars a load roar that causes Bill to shit himself.

“Now see hear I serve Caligula what you do to me you do to him”

Harry walks towards him

“Fool you can’t compete with the might of Caligula”

Harry gets closer

“I have food a women you can have it all please don’t kill me”

Harry jumps on Bill and starts eating him alive. He tasted delicious



Next Slaughter Serenade
Spamdini
Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1322
(Thu Apr 12, 2007 10:42 pm)
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Post     Re: The spy who fucked my eye socket.

Stuff like this makes me so happy FTUW is back.
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