Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

Vinny · (Sun Apr 12, 2015 7:17 pm)

Well, I read up to were Akagi is currently translated and it's pretty stunning that the author has balls large enough to drag a single game of mahjong over 200 chapters. That means he was probably drawing that one fucking game for four or five years (and it hasn't ended yet in the translations so who fucking knows how long it goes on!)

Grate manga
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Seika · (Sun Apr 12, 2015 9:27 pm)

It's pretty stunning that you would actually read 200+ chapters about one game of mahjong.

Vinny · (Tue Apr 14, 2015 3:44 am)

I had already committed to 15 episodes of a single game of mahjong so I felt like I needed to see how it turned out.

Well, I'm pretty sure Akagi wins, but still.
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Seru · (Tue Apr 14, 2015 11:42 pm)

THE DISAPPEARANCE OF NAGATO YUKI-CHAN EPISODE TWO AKA BETTER THAN THE LAST EPISODE WHICH WAS ALSO PRETTY AMAZING: Hey guys, remember that amazing Christmas party the literature club was planning in the last episode? Well those hot-stepping bastards celebrated the birth of the holiest motherfucker of them all, Jesus H. Christ. And I'm not saying that to be crass, Jesus technically fucked himself into conception using some sort of dick shaped beam of light. Religion! The gang ate turkey and Nagato probably schlicked herself into an orgasmic coma with the dinky little snowman ornament Kyon gifted her. I'm really hoping for a yandere swerve.

IN DEPTH ANALYSIS: Seika, I can't believe you openly mislead these fine gentleman about the eventual appearance of Haruhi. Maybe in your little Japanese funny books they don't trot her out until the midpoint but here she is openly vandalizing parks in the second episode. And the third episode is titled Haruhi Suzumiya! This is the true sequel we all desire and deserve.

Anyway, I feel like the people that made this watched the last episode of Evangelion too many times and really wanted that 'Rei is now a regular schoolgirl' scenario to be a full length reality. Hopefully this ends with everybody being turned into piles of priomordial soup.

Seika · (Wed Apr 15, 2015 5:30 pm)

Hey, I said I read the first three volumes and Haruhi shows up in the middle of the second. Like I could anticipate the anime version's blistering speed.

Apparently the eighth manga volume was just released, so we're probably looking at 10-12 episodes at most. I still think going with the novels would have been a better call, just the stuff leading up to Valentine's Day could have taken up an entire season.

And Alter-Nagato is too spineless to go yandere.

And yandere doesn't interest me too much anyway unless I get to be the yandere.

Seru · (Wed Apr 15, 2015 11:09 pm)

I bet it's nowhere near as enticing as the fabled White Day arc.

And yeah, my mentioning yanderes was clearly a ploy to open discussion about that game. Because that looks like a great game. I want to mop up blood so badly.

Seika · (Thu Apr 16, 2015 8:27 am)

You know me too well.

What sold me was the likelihood of being able to customize Senpai's appearance and gender. Getting to role play that girl in Persona 3 that wants to eat Mitsuru's shit is like a dream come true.

Seru · (Wed Apr 22, 2015 10:38 pm)

Man, that's so crass. We don't cross the shit eating line here at Fagtown USA. And of course there should gender equality amongst stalkable senpais. I've campaigned long and hard for that.

THE DISAPPEARANCE OF NAGATO YUKI-CHAN EPISODE THREE AKA HOLY SHIT GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR OWN SERIES NAGATO BECAUSE HARUHI IS HERE: Hey, it's Haruhi! And suddenly Nagato is a side character again. Which is the way I like it. I don't know why but long haired Haruhi always seems like less of an immense scumbag than the short haired variant. She was like that in the movie too. Maybe that's just me projecting but the fact is that I enjoyed this episode a lot and was surprised how quickly it seemed to end. They were just getting started! That may be due to my sleeping pill haze but I'll expound more on that later.

IN DEPTH ANALYSIS: Oh yeah, fucking nothing happened. At all. Haruhi shows up and that guy with no personality tags along (What's his name? I'm not checking.) and does his best cardboard cutout routine. Also, why is there so much ass shaking in anime openings these days? You should be spending that budget on animated boob physics.

Seru · (Wed Apr 22, 2015 10:45 pm)

NINJA SLAYER: EPISODE THE FIRST - Man, Trigger got me. When I heard the premise of this show (This is what gaijin American pigs think ninjas are like! LOL) I wasn't expecting Gurren Lagann or Kill la Kill. I wasn't even expecting Panty and Stocking or FLCL. What I got was Inferno Cop and I definitely wasn't expecting that. If you don't know what Inferno Cop is (And why would you?) it's animated like season one South Park. I also didn't retain a single thing from my first viewing. Like I said before, that might be due to my drug haze, but I sincerely doubt it. Plus it was only like ten minutes long. Infinite sadness.

Seru · (Wed Apr 22, 2015 10:57 pm)

LITTLE WITCH ACADEMIA: Ninja Slayer bummed me out so I decided I might as well watch the other Trigger thing I had downloaded and never watched so I could lose complete faith. And hey, this was amazingly good and my faith was restored. Too bad it's only an animated short with a sequel that had to be crowdfunded and MAYBE they'll do a series after that. So my cynicism isn't quite dead just yet. Anyway, a girl goes to school to be a witch and she's bad at it. Then she saves the day. A true testament to the hero's journey and far preferable to Heero's journey. Fuck you and your shitty avatar, MANTI5. Good animation, characters are established perfectly in 30 seconds or less and most of the action is related to dungeon crawling. All my thumbs are up.

Seru · (Wed Apr 29, 2015 11:53 pm)

THE DISAPPEARANCE OF NAGATO YUKI-CHAN EPISODE FOUR AKA SAINT VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE THE SEQUEL: Now here's a thing in anime that always baffled me. Maybe it's a JAPANESE CULTURE thing in general but I'm not stupid enough to equate anime to real things that actually happen. Although I'm pretty sure most of Berserk is based on true events. Anyway, who the fuck would go out of their way to make their own chocolate for Valentine's Day? You know, aside from fictional animated girls in every slice of life show I've watched. Right, nobody. It just seems like fantasy fulfillment. I guess it might be a love thing. I lack the emotional capacity to love so just buying chocolate seems like the most logical option. Which is exactly what Haruhi does! (Perfect segue!) The act of her giving Kyon a chocolate bar before Yuki can hand off her homemade love chocolates that are probably jam packed with shredded pubes is the dramatic closing shot of the episode. I'm not invested in this love triangle at all. HaruKyon all the way. Please disappear already, Nagato-chan.

IN DEPTH ANALYSIS: My favourite character is Tsuruya. She's pretty cool. More importantly, I could probably make my own homemade chocolates based on the dozens of chocolate making lessons I've seen in anime. There, I've justified my hobby.

Seru · (Fri May 01, 2015 7:19 pm)

Puella Magi Madoka Magica Part III: Rebellion

See, I told you I’d watch this eventually. I’m sure I originally said I would several months ago but this is a surprisingly quick turnaround for me. About three years ago I told my dad I’d watch The Deer Hunter on his recommendation and I definitely haven’t done that. It just sits there abandoned in the legally obtained movie folder on my desktop waiting patiently for some big lug to come along and bathe in three hours of Deniro and Walken. I blame Apocalypse Now Redux. It left me burnt out on Vietnam movies for at least a decade.

Anyway, this was a movie about magical girls. I didn’t have a vitriolic experience like Seika nor did I squeal and produce copious amounts of fanboy jism like Roy. It seemed pretty average. The most grievous sin it committed was that the first hour or so was inane garbage. I completely forgot all the pertinent spoilers (Except for Satan Homura.) and it was still painfully obvious in the first five minutes that everything was false. The fact that it took them an hour to reveal the thing every person in the audience already knew is an offensive waste of time. And that sucks because we could have had an hour of Homura walking around a Fist of the North Star wasteland fighting demons instead. You know, like they teased at the end of the series. That’s what people paid to see! Instead they took a steaming hot shit on that ending and gave us some bizarre Homura heel turn instead. Which is fine, this is an original storyline specifically for the movie, they can Dragon Ball GT the plot all they want. It just seems like a missed opportunity. I guess Homura’s witch form was cool? Whatever, I have no strong feelings one way or the other. And I’m still confused as to which hot dyke relationship was confirmed to be true. Blue Hair Sword Girl (Fuck her, I’m not remembering her name.) and Sakura hold hands for maybe three seconds. Girls fleetingly hold hands all the time, that doesn’t mean they’re in the mood for cotton covered fish tacos. And yeah, Homura loves Madoka. This was a known quantity. End of review.

Vanilla out of ten.

Seika · (Mon May 04, 2015 11:07 am)

The first hour was put in there to give the secondary characters a reason to be in the movie. They could have left everyone out except Homura, Madoka, and Kyubey, and the story would be exactly the same.

And yeah, it was very average, that's why it was so disappointing.

Seru · (Mon May 04, 2015 9:44 pm)

Reviving the one character that should be DEAD FOREVER was really egregious. And I only ever want to see Mami as a headless corpse flopping around.

SPEAKING OF HEADLESS CORPSES FLOPPING AROUND...

Berserk: The Golden Age Arc One: The Egg of the King - Yeah, this was certainly Berserk. Except when they switch to 3D animation and it looks like a cut scene from Valkyria Chronicles running on a PC from 1998. Which isn't great considering that this series is RENOWNED for looking fucking gorgeous all the damn time. Also, the opening tease of all the characters you won't be seeing in animated form possibly forever really stings. Farnese-chan...Will I never see you straddle a giant sword and ask Guts to split you in half? Sigh. Zodd was cool but you can't really fuck up Zodd.

Three Behelits out of Five.

Roy · (Tue May 05, 2015 5:30 am)

Hey, I only produced copious amounts of fanboy jizm in anticipation of Rebellion! I was ultimately disappointed. It's visually stunning, though.

Roy · (Tue May 05, 2015 5:39 am)

About Akagi: If you want to see the ultimate ending to the story, past Washizu's mansion on Namek, read the manga Ten. I'm not sure if you'd want to though, because it's long and has a shitload of mahjong. At the very least, I highly recommend skipping to volume 16 (chapter 137) and reading the last few volumes to find out what happens to Akagi.

This was also pretty amusing:

Yeah, you COULD say that.

Vinny · (Tue May 05, 2015 7:00 pm)

So the Akagi storyline couldn't even be contained in his own goddamned manga?
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Vinny · (Tue May 05, 2015 7:07 pm)

Just from that panel it's interesting how subdued that guy's earlier work is. There is no HEAT DISTORTION from the intensity of the current situation or ZAWA ZAWA ...
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Roy · (Wed May 06, 2015 3:33 am)

What happened was, Akagi was so great of a character in Ten that he ended up hijacking the titular character's own manga, and the last few volumes were all about him. Then spawned the prequel "Akagi".

The first volume of Ten is actually pretty weird, you can tell that the author doesn't really know what he's doing or where he's going with all this. It starts off as some slice of life Charlie Brown Christmas Special shit and eventually morphs into Yakuza goons cutting each other with swords and playing high stakes mahjong games.

Seika · (Wed May 06, 2015 9:14 pm)

Okay, I finally gave in and watched god damn Yuki-chan. It's not as bad as I anticipated. Looking back, I might have been soured a bit by the manga's occasional ugly super-deformed fatheaded characters.

Oddly, Haruhi is much more endearing in this series and most everyone else is less interesting.