Dragon Ball Z Uncensored

[Spamdini]

Chapter 1: Mysterious Forces Arise!

Deep in the woods of Nouveau-Richonia’s rich, but ominous wilderness, a lone man pulls on a rope attached to a tree. No sooner does he do so that fifty training dummies descend from the treetops, hurtling towards the warrior. “GYAAAAA!!” he shouts with great passion as he leaps up to greet the hurtling, though inanimate foes. Immediately, he grasps one around the waist in a German suplex and arches backwards to drive the dummy into the solid ground below. His efforts are in vain as 49 other dummies quickly pile upon him and crush him under their sand-filled girth. A few minutes pass before Hoity von Toity, King of Nouveau-Richonia and former owner of FTUW, emerges from beneath the pile.

“Curses…” he mutters. I’m still nowhere close to mastering my new technique.

“Never said this was going to be easy, Baron von Toity,” replies a voice from a few feet away. Hovering there above the urn where his ashes remain is Charles Artemis, watching dutifully as his former leader trains day and night far from the watchful eyes of society, or at least what could still be considered society.

“Shut up! I’m a genius in the art of wrestling! If this technique is within the realm of possibility, then why can I not master it?!”

Artemis shakes his head. “You’re a master of techniques that already exist and that you’ve seen. But it takes a true master to perfect a technique that has only been conceived on paper!” Artemis holds up a scroll in his ethereal hand. “The last will and testament of your alternate self from the other universe. This technique was obviously being developed to overthrow your army, and now you will need it to retake your empire.”

“God damn it, I know that! And why the hell are you still floating around like that?! Why aren’t you in Hell or something by now? I mean, what the fuck’s up with there being ghosts in the apocalyptic future now?!”
“Hm…I’m guessing it’s this urn that Rudy created. It must have bound my soul to Earth so that I may train you. In the end, he was still looking out for your well-being it seems.”

Von Toity wipes the sweat, dirt and blood off his body and begins to set up the training dummies for another round.

Elsewhere in the forest, another lone figure bounces from tree branch to tree branch like a ninja, wearing a white cloak with a hood that covers his face. He finally comes to a stop in front of two other figures, garbed in cloaks much like him except theirs as black.

“Have you found him?”

The new arrival nods his head towards his colleagues.

“Yes. He’s about twenty miles south of here. I suggest we head there immediately and intercept.”

“Very well. Let us go!”

The camera pans out and it is shown that the three cloaked fellows are not standing on a tree, but in fact it is another gigantic cloaked figure with its arms outstretched. The four of them immediately dash southward, where a certain man is currently training. The guy from the first few paragraphs. That would be von Toity.

Time passes and finally, all fifty training dummies are embedded in the ground, burst open by the impact of von Toity’s brilliant new technique. Exhausted, he leans against a tree and attempts to catch his breath while rubbing down his aching muscles. “About time. Now I can finally begin to retake my empire and compete in FTUW.”

“You’ll never do it in that condition,” Artemis, the negative Nancy, replies. “Or all alone.”

SUDDENLY FIFTY FUCKING NINJAS DESECEND FROM THE SKY AND THEY’RE ALL TOTALLY HARDCORE AND STUFF!

“Fucking ninjas…” von Toity grumbles.

“And they’re hardcore,” says Artemis.

Fucking ninja are a special breed of male/female teams (and 10% of the time male/male or female/female) that constantly fuck and gain great battle spirit from the intensity of their coitus. These 25 pairs, joined at the hip through their specially trained ninja cocks and ninja snatches, form inseparable and near-indestructible battle units. Even at full strength, facing these imposing forces would be quite the task for the God of Wrestling. In his current state, their sexual writhing and jizz shurikens spell certain doom.

“Kill him!” shouts the head pair of Fucking Ninjas. So advanced are their techniques that they no longer have distinguishable male or female genitalia and could be best described as a single entity in a constant state of sexual ecstasy and deadly brutality. The other 24 pairs converge on the wounded von Toity, ready to rend him limb from limb when the three cloaked warriors from earlier drop down from the trees in the nick of time and form a circle around him. The Fucking ninjas halt in their tracks, confused by the new development. After a brief moment of hesitation, two Fucking ninjas leap towards one of the cloaked figures, swords brandished.

“GUUUH!”

Two large muscular hands wrap themselves around the heads of the ninjas. The veins his in arms throb and protrude as he squeezes their skulls and they pop like grapes. He tears off his cloak and reveals himself to be Chief Fisting Falcon! The other Fucking ninjas begin to shit on each other in fear upon the sight of the mountain of Native American muscle. So alarmed are they, that they don’t notice the second cloaked figure coming up from behind and placing two pairs of Fucking ninjas in an elaborate submission hold, binding them with pieces of his cloak and their own contorted limbs.

“Shuriken Stretch!” shouts Wilson P. Hickenbottom, his cloak now torn apart allowing his identity to be revealed. He pulls on all four Fucking ninjas and even the slight change in leverage is enough to tear them apart like paper in a shredder. The remaining Fucking ninjas are divided by those frozen in fear from the newcomers and those frozen in fear from their leaders.

“Kill those devils, or you shall feel the wrath of our King!” shout the head Fucking ninjas.

Apparently this is enough to force several of the Fucking ninjas into
action, as they immediately charge the remaining cloaked figure, the one in white, in hopes of reducing their numbers at the very least. But as the Vagina Arrows and Dick Daggers converge of their target, he suddenly vanishes. Astonished, their eyes eventually turn upwards as several of their colleagues find their heads impaled by crosses raining from above. Floating in the air is Reverend Zeebo Sykes with his arms outstretched. This Christ-like pose only instills more fear and awe into the Fucking ninjas.

“Sinners repent! I have found America’s savior and you blasphemers shall not lay a hand upon his divine body! Holy Roller!”

Tucking himself into a ball, Reverend Sykes’ Holy Roller crushes a male Fucking ninja, his sudden death causing him to ejaculate so hard that his female partner shoots off like a cannonball, connecting with Chief Fisting Falcon’s impossibly thick back and becoming embedded within the crevasses of the muscles. A quick flex from Fisting Falcon reduces her into an explosion of blood and tissue, forming a meaty cape on his back.

Seeing that escape would at least mean avoiding instant death, the remaining Fucking ninjas flee from the scene. However, a large black pillar stands in their way. As they crane their necks to see what it is, they discover to their horror that it is a titanic cloaked figure.

“Baron von Toity’s personal guard always has at least four members,” Wilson begins to explain, calmly cleaning his glasses all the while. “I would like you to meet our fourth member. Helga, reveal yourself!”

“UGYAAAAAAA!” The giant rips off its cloak, revealing it to be a twenty foot tall valkyrie with equally titanic tits. The male Fucking ninjas grin like idiots as the breasts begin to swing apart. Moments later, they slam together, smashing the Fucking ninjas into dog meat. The female partners do not even have a chance to weep as Helga widens her stance and begins to suck them into her pussy with a vacuum-like suction. After they have all been stuffed in there, she flexes her pelvic muscles and a rocket of blood fires from her vagina like some unholy period. The empty carcasses of the Fucking ninjas limply fall out like leaves in the autumn.

“IMPUDENT FOOLS!” scream the head Fucking ninjas in unison. “Those weaklings were nothing! Our skills are more than enough to eliminate you horde of miscreants!”

The four saviors prepare to take on the leaders, but von Toity waves them off. “Leave them to me. Best I show these fools what a true leader is like!”
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[Action Hank]

Twenty foot-tall tits?!?!?!